stroppy 10 year old

[TezTez]

My 10 year old DD has turned into a stroppy teenager (!) already. She resents authority, especially me, although she's not very good for her father. We argue almost every day. I'm turning into the nagging mother I don't want to be with her. My younger DD isn't like this at all. She's lovely, helpful and sweet-natured. How do i break the cycle?

The thing I have learned with 11 year old is pick your battles and try to offer choices rather than be authorative all the time.

For example instead of "hang your clothes up now!" I will say "I would like to see those clothes hung up by the end of the day" or instead of refusing to negotiate I will say " ok, we have a problem. I feel that 7pm is late enough on a school night because x, y and z, but you would like it to be 9 because of a, b and c - let's sit down together and talk about a compromise"

The book "how to talk so kids will listen" is BRILLIANT. It has really helped me to reduce the constant nagging and nit picking in our home.