Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

HELP, NO SLEEP FOR MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28 replies

jersey · 21/10/2005 08:31

Please can someone help! Since starting teething at 6/7mths our son has not slept through (Now 15mths). When he has been between teething sessions it has got better and we have odd nights through till 4:30ish.

However, in the last 2/3 months he has started waking anytime from 11:30pm onwards and takes forever to get back to sleep (usually just before we have to get up at 5:30am for work). We made the mistake of bring him in with us as we have never managed to get him to go to sleep in his cot (anywhere else yes, but never his cot. He screams as though terrified!). Now we seemed to have got him in a pattern we can't get out of and with both of us working fulltime on 4 hours sleep a night its killing us.

We are going to try the controlled crying method tonight going forward, does anyone think this is the right thing to do, and does anyone have any other suggestions, we are desperate and TTC no 2 so need a solution soon.

Thankyou.

OP posts:
halloweenhorror · 21/10/2005 08:36

Oh Jersey, I've got no advice but I know how you feel!

My ds1 slept in with me for about 4 years and even now it's hard to get him to go to sleep, although he does stay in his own bed (he's 7!). Ds2 is 4 and in with me every night. I know he'll eventually grow out of it too.

Sorry I've done the CC and ds1 could scream longer than I could handle it then he was sick. Didn't bother with ds2 as I know I'm too soft.

Hope you get this sorted, if it was me I'd have your son in with me. Anything for a sleep!

Original poster
jersey · 21/10/2005 08:48

Thanks Halloweenhorror but even when he comes in with us we don't sleep well as he rolls all over the bed and ends up sleeping laid head to me and feet to DH (or other way round) and kicks or head butts up all night!!!

OP posts:
sassy · 21/10/2005 08:55

You might find CCrying quite tough I think as he's big enough to know crying gets results!
The best advice I can give r.e. crying is

  1. Choose a time when you are both strong enough to go through with it for as long as it takes, over a period of days - if you 'crack' and pick him up, he will get the message that if he cries hard enough, he'll get picked up and 2) Warn the neighbours what you're doing, then you won't be panicking about them caling the police!

I hate seeing mine cry, but I did this with both of mine cos I was so desperate for proper sleep! They were younger - about 8/9mo, - and it took about 3 nights with both, starting with abuot 45 mins crying on the 1st night, then 20 mins or so on the next nights. Horrible while it lasts, but it IS worth it.

Good luck.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
beejay · 21/10/2005 09:14

I think it's very unlikely that teething would disturb sleep for months on end. More likely he has just got into bad habits.
Good luck with cc. It does work ( I did it with my daughter around the same age) Just remember you are not doing him any harm at all, you are just helping him to learn too sleep by himself. And just keep reminding yourself how wonderful it will feel to sleep when you sleep through the night!

Original poster
jersey · 21/10/2005 09:19

Thanks everyone. Thought if we start tonight, hopefully by Monday and back at work we might have got over the worse of it!!!!

Will let you know how it goes.

OP posts:
missycantstop · 21/10/2005 09:48

sorry to give you bad news but my brother is 9 next month and he still sleeps in the same bed as my mum. Otherwise he is up all night crying with nightmares. It scares him so much that he gets stomache and headache.
my advise is to get them out of the stage of sleeping in your bed.
my son is 3 next month and started sleeping through the night at 18 months but for me to get him in his own room i had to sleep in his room.
that includes sleeping in the same bed until your child has fallen asleep then sleep on the floor after a few nights of you sleeping on the floor try staying in the room till your child is asleep and then leave the room. Good luck, sorry this is long but i hope it helps.

ThePrisoner · 22/10/2005 01:34

My dd was awful about sleeping and, when I was pregant (twins), it was even harder to get up and settle her.

Missy - I started doing what you did, staying in her bed till she fell asleep then creeping out. It was exhausting, night after night after night.

We put a single bed next to our double bed and just let her come in during the night. It didn't disturb us - our GP was most supportive and had done the same thing (friends and family were appalled, but then they weren't sleep-deprived). She did grow out of it.

I'm all for doing whatever you can to make your life easier, and worry about dealing with the next-rod-you-make-for-your-own-back later on!

ssd · 22/10/2005 09:18

How did last night go jersey?

Original poster
jersey · 24/10/2005 08:36

FANTASTIC thanks ssd.

Friday night took 45 mins to get him to sleep with him screaming. Then he woke at 2:10am and took an hour to get back off but not screaming just crying on and off.

Sat fell asleep on DH knee before we got him to the bath and slept through till 5:20am (normal time), last night played with him in his bedroom, put him in his cot with rest of his bottle. Laid him down when he had finished and he was a sleep before I put the cover over him!!! We had to wake him this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't believe it, hope it lasts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
jersey · 25/10/2005 08:19

Change that, slight step back last night he woke at midnight and took a while to get him back to sleep. But at least he stayed in his cot which is an improvement!

OP posts:
milward · 25/10/2005 08:54

Happy to hear that you are getting some sleep. I've been there with the no sleep experience - in fact living it again now with ds4. Best wishes xxx

Original poster
jersey · 25/10/2005 10:36

Thanks Milward, it does seem to be 2 steps forward and 1 back, but must keep perceiving. Good luck with your ds4.

OP posts:
Original poster
jersey · 28/10/2005 11:24

AAAHHHHHHH

NO Sleep at all last night, screamed all night. (Attention screaming, tantrum as wouldn't bring him in with us after he woke at 10pm).

DH put him in the car a drove around for an hour, then went to sleep for 2 hours!!

OP posts:
Janmad · 28/10/2005 11:41

No matter how tough it seems at the moment, just think it cant last forever, bit like labour!

Original poster
jersey · 28/10/2005 12:20

Thanks Janmad, I know it will be worth it in the end but no sleep 2 hours travel and full time work is a killer!!!!

OP posts:
elsmommy · 28/10/2005 12:29

My health visitor told me to shock dd out of the habit of waking in the night by making it different.
So we slightly changed her bedtime routine, put her a new quilt cover/pillowcase on, moved her bed to the other side of the room and she slept through.

Could you move him to a bed if he doesn't like the cot?

Janmad · 28/10/2005 12:47

This would probably be a big ask but maybe a different enviroment might help, maybe stay over at Nana and Grandads for the night! Let them know whats going on, maybe they could do a shift for you both so you could both get some sleep at the same time! Maybe somewhere else might be the change he needs to get out of the habit, put some toys in the cot, he may play for awhile then drop off!

Original poster
jersey · 28/10/2005 13:12

We started this last friday and on sunday moved his bedroom furniture around and changed his bedding. Seemed ok, slept though sunday night, still woke once mon, tues, wed slept through then last night!!!!

Going to our caravan tonight so different bed, etc.. Not sure if he is old enough for a bed (15months) esp as he rolls around a lot when asleep. He has a bed in the caravan which is surrounded on 3 sides and a wooden barrier down the open side, but he can climb over it!!

Hoping it might just be an off night.

Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
jersey · 28/10/2005 13:16

Janmad

The prob with staying over with N & G is that they don't believe in letting him cry! He is with them during the day and should be doing controlled crying to get him to sleep for his naps (he fights these as well!), but they won't.

We have asked them to have him when its our work xmas parties but don't like asking more as they have him during the week whilst we are at work. My parents live too far away to ask them.

Thanks for the thought though.

Must keep trying as TTC no 2 now so can't cope with 2 not sleeping

OP posts:
Janmad · 28/10/2005 13:45

Good luck at the caravan tonight maybe just being away may help....a change is a good as a rest they say!!!

Original poster
jersey · 28/10/2005 14:26

Thanks

Possible cause to last night is his stomach is upset today, so presuming that last night was a prerunner to this. Unfortunatley coinsiding with the controlled crying week!! Gave him calpol as we went sure last night if his teeth weren't contributing but obviously that didn't work.

Will see how it goes to night! If not work on shifts this weekend so hopefully we can get some sleep, all though caravans have thin walls (where's the nearest B&B )

OP posts:
zoe2kids · 28/10/2005 15:50

Hi Jersey

I once read a tip that I try to remember every time I leave my girls to cry (eldest is 2, baby is 11 months).

"remember you are not 'making' your child cry - merely 'allowing' them to"

I have done CC with both and would recommend it.

jersey · 31/10/2005 09:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sarah1girl · 01/11/2005 09:23

Hi I'm new to this site and desperate for help. We have an 8 month old girl and I have made a very big rod for my own back! She will only go to sleep on the breast, i then put her in the cot but she only stays there for 2 hours max. Then she has to come in with me and have full access to the breast or she screems, she just helps her self all night. Oh god what have i done please help me!! We are moving house on friday, she will have to go in her own room (there is only room for our bed , it's small).

snowfallinthesahara · 01/11/2005 17:29

hey all
sarah1girl my predicament is Exactly like ures,word for word..i have no clue abt how to go about gettign him to sleep by himself in his cot,separate room...as till now hes never slept without feeding fromt he breats and with teeth on 12 mo old ds,its a killer!
so i want to stop bf now and get him into his cot..health visitor said the feeding is merley comfort which is true,he doesnt actually 'drink'.
help plz!