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Original poster

Am I mad- age gaps and 2-3 kids!

56 replies

leahbump · 14/10/2005 13:20

Hi all,

I have a ds 20 months old and ds 2 8 weeks old. We know we want another and had originally though that we'd have one later (when the ds's are at school)- but my mum was the youngest of three with a big gap between her and her siblings and she thinksa third will get left out whatever age gap but esp with a bug one. So now I am thinking well, maybe I want the baby bit out the way, and I'd like them to be close...

So I am thinking when ds 2 is walking i should ttc again (ds 1doesn't walk yet!)....but i am not sure

anyway any experiences of three under 4 would be great to hear about and any other relevant experiences!!

It's early days, but I like to plan ahead!

OP posts:

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gravity · 14/10/2005 13:36

yep........ your mad!!!!!!!!!!

cupcakes · 14/10/2005 13:40

if you had your third later you would also have to have a fourth quickly so that no.3 wouldn't be lonely.

blueteddy · 14/10/2005 13:41

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gravity · 14/10/2005 13:41

completely!!!!

Zephyrrywitchescat · 14/10/2005 13:42

Mad is the word!!

My dd is 3.10, ds is 15months and i'm pg with number 3 and already crapping it!!!

gravity · 14/10/2005 13:47

dd is 2y.5m, ds is .5m
from there it was keeps legs closed or the coil
happy owner of coil

Original poster

leahbump · 14/10/2005 14:00

OMG dh reaaly doesn't want four, and neither do I!!

(dh reason is purely cos he is stingy and doesn't want to buy a new car!)

Yep must be mad!!

I will watch your threads with interest Zeph!! Good luck!

OP posts:

RosiePosie · 14/10/2005 14:28

I'm one of three - the gap between no.2 and 3 is 5 years. My dh is also one of three - the gap between no. 2 and 3 is nearly 8 yrs!

I think if you're going to go for no. 3 sooner is better than later. My little brother (no.3) WAS left out, and my parents found it hard too, trying to entertain children of different age groups. My dh's familiy's situation (with the 8 yr gap) was even worse.

I'm expecting no3. I have nearly 3 yrs between no. 1 and 2, which is okay, but they don't have much in common. There will be 2yrs 4 months between 2 and 3 - I know the first few months are going to be tough, but I deliberately wanted a smaller gap - get it all over and done with ASAP!

Mummyvicky · 14/10/2005 14:47

I have ds who is four tomorrow, dd19 months and ds216 weeks. Yes it is hard work, yes you have no time whatsoever to yourself apart from when they are in bed, but it is fantastic and I wouldn't chnage it for the world. They are all very close, and all enjoy the same age related games/toys/activities.
If you are well organised, have the patience of a saint and dont mind ALOT of dirty nappies and mess - go for it ! Its brill!
Vicky xx

spidermama · 14/10/2005 14:56

Three under four is really hard going to be honest. You'll be under a lot of strain. However, if you think you can hack it the rewards are great. I think, as well, that it pays in the long run.

I still do bedtime for three of mine at once. (Four in a sense because the baby often gatecrashes these days).

They play together often and they still share some interests. But I was nearly mad for about two years.

laa · 14/10/2005 15:26

I have DS who is 4.5 (nearly), DD who is 2.5 (nearly) and baby DD who is nearly 8mos - there's roughly a 22 mo. gap between each child. It is hard work, with no free time and in some ways if I could do it again I would prob. wait until my 2nd was heading to pre-school. The pregnancy was the toughest cos I was v.v. sick for 40 wks. which when you are running around after an 18mo old and 3 yr. old is pretty miserable. Also because DS had dropped his day sleep I always had at least one child to look after. I was exhausted! But in the long term I think the age gaps will pay off. It can't be that bad cos I'd like a 4th. We had planned to have a slightly larger age gap between the 2nd and 3rd, and then smaller age gap again between 3rd and 4th. However, mad passion, a bottle of wine and no contraception got in the way of our plans and we just decided what the hell, let's make a baby. And she's gorgeous and scrummy.I'm broody already!! Think DH though is so exhausted with 3 kids, full-time job, 2 hrs commuting and just starting his MSc that even wine, passion and no contraception won't happen this time. We'd prob. just fall asleep!

lockets · 14/10/2005 15:33

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lockets · 14/10/2005 15:34

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auntymandy · 14/10/2005 15:36

my 1st was 1 when I got pregnant with 2..2 was 1 when I got pregnant with 3. 3 was 8 when I got pregnant with 4 and 4 was one when I got pregnant with 5. 5 is one...no I'm not!!!!

FangAche · 14/10/2005 15:37

Yet... Auntmandy!!

Mummyvicky · 14/10/2005 15:39

lockets awwww !!! how old is your dd ?

lockets · 14/10/2005 15:40

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Mummyvicky · 14/10/2005 15:41

aww happy birthday to yours too !! Tell you what we are going to be knackered come tomorrow night !

GillL · 14/10/2005 15:42

My older sister is 15 months older than me and my younger sister is 3 years younger than me. We never left her out when playing together and when growing up I was closer to my younger sister. HTH

lockets · 14/10/2005 15:43

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Mummyvicky · 14/10/2005 15:45

All the family is turning up at MILs house Hooray no mess at ours ! :-) Having a meal and blowing out cake candles togther- Im more excited than he is !! as they get older it gets more fun !! hehe

laa · 14/10/2005 15:51

Do you think 3 is awkward - I mean, does one generally get left out? Still considering a 4th.

JuliaAndJohn · 14/10/2005 18:20

ds1 is 3.6 yrs
ds2 is 2.2 yrs
ds3 is 3 months

I always wanted three and close together so I'd have a little tribe of small people. I love it. ds1 and ds2 play together (fight loads) it is extremely hard work and I am always planning 10 steps ahead. We wouldn't have it any other way. We almost had three under three!!

I get told 10 times a day (it seems) 'gosh you have got your hands full!' Yes I have.

Important thing: Do YOU feel as if you could cope????

Mog · 14/10/2005 18:27

I've got 20 months between each of my three - dd is 4, ds1 is 2.5 and ds2 is 1. I echo what spidermama said - this last year has tested me to the limit and I really do feel like I have been going mad at times (not said for dramatic effect and I think spidermama knows what I'm talking about)
However, there is a lot to be said for children growing up at rougly the same developmental stage - there will only ever be three years from my oldest to youngest. I think it makes things easier when they are a bit more independent and will be able to be interested in the same activities. I think if you are able to say 'This madness will pass and there will be life on the other side' then go for it. But just be aware that there will be days when you cling on by your teeth to surviving.

Pollyanna · 14/10/2005 18:34

I had a 21 month gap between my first 2, and then a 30 month gap between nos 2 and 3. I think that did make it slightly easier - no 2 was potty trained and walking well by the time no 3 was born. When no 2 was born, my no 1 couldn't walk (like yours) and I found it really tough.

I still found it really hard though - I also underestimated the strain of each pregnancy on my body - it definitely got harder, and I had back problems after no 3 was born.

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