What surprised you most about motherhood? (Good and bad)

[Saffra]

Tell me what surprised/shocked you the most when you first entered motherhood?

I'm pregnant with my first and want to prepare myself for what lies ahead - good and bad!

how loudly I can shout and how often I do it.

that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would kill or be killed to protect my sons. In fact it is the one thing I think I am fundamentally sure of, the only thing really.

what pride feels like.

That you don't necessarily instantly love them but there is no shame in that. For me, it is a long and wonderful process of falling in love. DD brings me so much love EVERY day!! I get so much wonder from seeing her do the smallest of things that other people probably wouldn't notice. However, in the very early days I thought there was something wrong with me as I felt distinctly indifferent towards her (feel awful just typing that now but it's true).

As well as that, I didn't realise that breastfeeding could be so awful.

And it can all be monotonous and relentless.

BUT she truly is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not one for talking in cliches but this really is true!

How insensitive people are when you have a small baby.

"Oh, have you read this book?"

"You should see this film!"

"Would you like to come to zumba with me?"

"Lets go out for tea after work"

LISTEN - I HAVE NO LIFE NOW. I CAN'T DO ANY OF THAT STUFF. But I'd love to.

How personally I would take it when my babies and toddlers were/are naughty/difficult! I always feel is a reflection on my parenting. Some children are harder than others.....sadly!

That forever more I would have 2 people I would worry about far more than I ever have about myself.

That I would never again have a full nights sleep, even after the baby stage. DSD is 18 and when she goes out I can't sleep properly until I hear her key in the door. She doesn't usually come in from a night out until about 7am. DD1 and 2 both sleep through, but I'm usually kept awake by worrying about them in some form either that or dreaming about them.

That I get more pleasure in buying clothes for my kids than I do for myself now. And that I can no longer take my . That I would never again be able to sit down for more than 5 minutes without a request for lemonade, chocolate, crisps, Peppa Pig, or moaning that, "she hit me,"
"No she hit me".

That I could love another human so bloody much.

I was surprised/shocked

That motherhood was full of contradictions.

That I did not actually feel connected to my baby for the first few weeks. I just felt pure pain (difficult pregnancy and labour, emergency C-section and absolute hell while trying to get the hang of b-feeding), and that I kept panicking and wanting to 'give him back'.

That the bursting with love thing took a long time to kick in. I found him quite 'un-cute' to start off with. And the he smiled at me (at around 7 weeks)and I fell in love. And thought he was absolutely beautiful and could not believe I had created such a gorgeous creature. I still feel that way (he's just turned 3).

That its such hard work. That I would feel so very tired. All the time. Even now.

That each stage of development is so different, you never really get the hang of parenthood. Everytime you think you're getting good at it the goal-oosts change.

That I could feel so utterly bored at my existence as a SAHM yet cannot bear the thought of doing things differently (ie send him to a childminder/hire a nanny/go back to work).

That making friends with other mums was not as straightforward as everyone said it would be.

That I could love my child so much and still find him so infuriating.

That CBeebies would be my saviour. yes, I feel guilty sometimes but I feel the need for peace and quiet more)

That baby/toddler skin could be so soft and sweet, that I would never tire of cuddling and kissing my son.

Oops, sorry, lots of typos. Ds has beeen up since 1.30 am (post holiday jet lag).

That you will find a way to cope. That many things are out of your control, and you just have to roll with the punches.

Perhaps not when I first entered motherhood, but many years into the role.

Finding out that the terrible twos doesn't end on the child's third birthday :(

How hilariously funny babies can be. How funny it is to be teaching your baby to laugh when they fart (which they do, a lot). How they laugh at things like the dog's tail wagging and your hair tickling them and then they make you laugh.

How little sleep one can actually survive on. How sleep deprivation does do odd things to you - forget words, spell things wrongly, forget what the clutch pedal does (only once, briefly, while on the motorway...).

How wonderfully lovely it is to realise the man you married is a much better father that you ever thought possible and how it brings a tear to your eye to watch them together.

How horrendously rank a baby shit smells and how funny they find it to dabble their cute little baby feet in it...

DD is 10months and I'm still a little shell-shocked by the change...

Lots of good points, but a very unexpected side benefit came when I went back to work - I was quite shy before having DD and tended to bend over backwards at work to be accommodating. Now I have no qualms about taking no shit from anyone, in a frighteningly measured way. Which I quite enjoy..

The worst is how long everything takes - from leaving the house to going round a supermarket to fitting cleaning around daytime naps. The early days were pretty grim but it seriously improves once they respond to you rather than sleeping and screeching.