how much choice do you let your very young dc have over what they wear? and working through the PINK phase...

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

dd1 is nearly 4. recently i have been having battles to get her to wear anything other than a very select few items in her wardrobe. she approves of pink, basically, and little else.
we were out shopping the other day, and i suggested a few items, all of which were pooh-poohed. she wanted this, which i think is pretty gopping. so we didn't buy anything.
so what's the easiest way to work through this? i fear i am sounding a bit controlling, but i am concerned that this will be an ongoing thing, and we'll have the battle eventually when she wants to wear miniskirts and heels at 9 ....

my 4 year old has been choosing her own clothes since she could get herself dressed (2?) honestly, there are bigger battles to come - I'd save your energy to be honest.

that dress isn't that bad by the way

That dress is lovely and I'm not a great fan of pink, dd barely wears in but my dd would look great in that with some funky tights. However, I'd say unless she's paying, for the moment you win. But once the clothes are in her possession then I'd let her have a bit of free reign with what she wants to wear, as long as it's not a fairy costume to a funeral or something!

On the other hand, gopping is a truly awful word, where does that come from??!

No, I think the dress is certainly on the tamer side of pink! At least it is not fluroescent with 'princess' written all overit!

I think there is a difference between letting them choose their own sensible (but maybe not to your taste) clothes and boundaries / inppropriate dressing such as high heels at 9

my 3 year old chooses her clothes every day, and htose of her sister (6, with ASD).

I do try to steer if she has chosen something entirely inappropriate (as in shorts when it is -10 outside, rather than colour issues), but she gets free reign.

she only wears a small percentage of ehr wardrobe form free choice - I deliberatley don't do her washing for a few days as she does understand that if it is clean she cannot wear it, so will begrudgingly choose something else.

the only way I can get her to wear trousers is if there are no dresses in the wardrobe...

her choice is red and spotty - but pink will do at a push.

oh, and dress certainly not too bad. I was expecting a lot worse when you mention "gopping" and chosen by a 4 year old!

She'll be in school uniform soon- let her enjoy her pink!

DD was like this but pink goes right out of favour too, then she came back to it at about 13. She has a mufti day today and is wearing v short tight black skirt, long grey skinny hollister jumper. No pink in sight!

Don't stress.
I also don't dislike that JL dress.

Likewise silverfrog, I was expecting sparkles and sequins!

ok, so i am being a control freak

I know the link wasn't toooooo princessy, but that's because we were in John Lewis . You want to see some of the horrors she pull out when we're in tesco and primark. and then when i say no, she refuses to choose something more suitable. and if she hasn't chosen it, i don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting her to put it on at a later date.

My 5yo choses what she wears. She has strong opinions. I wouldn't buy anything with slogans or that looked slutty but she has free reign over her wardrobe so long as it is weather and activity appropriate. I don't know what gopping means but its a fairly inoffensive dress, maybe not to your tastes but you wouldn't be the one wearing it. If her favourite colour was orange or green would you be so condemming of her tastes? It seems little girls are slated these days for liking what is fairly mainstream. Nobody derides boys if they want a blue jumper with a digger on it.

silverfrog, i like your style with the laundry.

obviously I meant "if is ISN'T clean then she knows she cannot wear it"

but overall, it saves the arguments and is nothing to do with the fact I am a lazy slattern

oh, and btw - dd2's favourite item of clothing is a dress-up Minnie Mouse dress.

in, as tradition dictates, lovely velour and nylon.

she would wear this at every opportunity...

it languishes at the bottom of the laundry basket quite often

As long as its vaguely weather appropriate DD (4) gets to wear it. Get a lot of comments from people along the lines of 'dress herself, did she?'! There are bigger things to battle over IMO.

ok, i get it.

we need to pop out to get dd2 (too small to argue with me ) a new jacket today, so i will let dd1 get something pink, sparkly and sloganed as my penance.

I have a scruffy boy who wears anything but always trashes it, so I have nothing to add except that gopping has been added to my vocabulary!

Can you shop for her when she isnt there, making sure you get pink stuff but pink stuff in a style you like her in?

I agree, before you know it she'll be slouching around the house in a filthy school uniform and you'll be asking yourself "where is my little girl that used to like pink and fairy stuff?".
Once she starts school the whole pink phase starts to wear off. It's mainly because they are bombarded with pink from day one -toys, (!) toy packaging, everything and they associate it with everything nice and want to be the same as their friends...

I tend to buy their clothes without their involvement as im on a budget, once its in their drawers the big two 5 + 3 have free choice and they tend to pick for dd3 (18mth) too. dd1 nearly 6 is much less pink and fluffy than she was a year ago.

I've always let DS choose his own clothes since he expressed an interest in choosing from about age 3. He chooses the bulk in spring/autumn and I add on basics.

Thankfully he isnt keen on slogans so we havent clashed yet, he is drawn to anything black with skeletons on at the moment but thankfully summer colours are here

I hated some of the things I was made to wear when younger so am very relaxed with DS as long as its appropriate for the weather. He has to wear uniform most days anyway so should enjoy his casual clothes.

I would let her have pink, cos there's nothing inherently wrong with pink. it won't actually damage her..

As the others say, choose the clothes shops you take her into with caution.

I'd avoid shops with Disney and "Princess" and "Daddy's little angel" items. and say no to heels or things that look like teen slutwear. (for a 6yo, I mean).

I have managed 3dds without a pink princess phase between the 3 of them, I worry sometimes that I am too influential on my dds, as a feminist mother I might have brainwashed the lot of them.

fennel, will you please come and do your brainwashing thing on dd1?

I chose my DD's clothes at that age. She gradually got more input as she got older. Now she's nearly 12, she pretty much chooses independently, but I do still draw the line on some stuff.

i ahve teh one dd and 3ds and i would have loved a pink and a doll phase sigh she is very petite as well

she is tomboy through and through cars trains climin g trees science and dirt and hates pink and anything girly with a passion

I thought your link was going to show a sequinned monstrosity with "WAG in training" on the front or something.

Nothing wrong with the dress at all. I don't take my DCs clothes shopping so they get what they are given - I don't think the concept of choice has really occurred to them TBH...

it's not just about the dress in the link though - more that dd1 is now refusing to wear 90% of the perfectly serviceable clothes in her wardrobe, and to what extent i treat this as freedom of expression vs. contrary toddlerdom.