I need recommendations for girl-friendly, empowering books about puberty please!

[FlamingoBingo]

I've been looking for books about puberty for my 7.5yo and have been dismayed to read through all the ones in Waterstones, only to find sections on beautifying oneself; assumptions that girls will want to shave and wear make-up; and assertions that 'don't worry, you'll be a babe!'.

I don't want my daughters growing up thinking that puberty is all about when you have to start trying to be beautiful and conforming to the societal ideals of what women should look like.

But I need something for her! And something that also talks about relationships and responbility, so not just a biology book.

Will be watching this one for my 7.7 yo! Seeing first signs so need something to refer back to.

I need something for her to read, I think - something she can read in private. We are already really very honest with her (all of them) about what is going to happen, but I know that children like to read and digest things like this in private too.

My dd is a complete tomboy and is worried about boobs getting in the way for football - what you described would suit her down to the ground. If it doesn't exist someone needs to write it!

This?

(I've never seen it, just thought it would be a good place to look)

and this website

Agree - something like this needs to exist.
What about thinking outside the proverbial box and looking for a few fiction books that cover the issues?
Or I would think (hope) that the Guide association had some good material? Worth a look?

i like the american girl book called 'the care and keeping of me' - it's more about basics and body changes, and how to keep clean (in terms of washing and body odour etc) rather than how to be 'gorgeous'. it is a bit american in that it has pages on having braces and how to care for your teeth with ordontic appliances on but that's handy for dd1 anyway. not sure if it has relationship stuff, but tbh 7 is way too young to start talking boyfriends and sex imo. dd1 is 11 and is still a girl really. at 7 she should not be concerned with being a 'girl' and what that means in terms of expectations as she grows up, she should be concentrating on being a child.

i'd rather not focus on being a 'girl' unless for biological reasons .

that's one of the things i like about this side of the pond tbh - soccer is equally a girl's game here and there are tons of girls in soccer programmes. the idea of boobs getting in the way wouldn't even cross their minds. why on earth would they? plenty of hockey, soccer, rugby playing women around. plenty of cavers and rock-climbers too.

ordontic? orthodontic lol.

or maybe not sad

oops.

guides have tons of cool stuff, but unfortunately the pinkery creeps in.

the world thinking day theme for 2011 is 'empowering girls will change our world'.

i might write to blardy girlguidesuk and ask them if they feel that game is particularly empowering.

I could have written your post myself! I was looking for a suitable book for my dd that explain the physical changes at puberty and periods etc but without the sex bit and certainly without any 'babe' reference!

Found this book:

www.amazon.co.uk/How-Will-Grow-MICK-MANNING/dp/0749656638/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1297464588&sr=1-1

my pathfinders did a 'fashion sense from head to toe' module where we visited the mall, had a visiting manicurist, and went to have a workshop with a hairdresser. the emphasis throughout was on individuality not conformity. it was more wacky nail art and what to do about hangnails, how often should i wash my hair, does hair on my face make it spotty. the 'fashion' elements were looking at designers and fashion shows, looking at how 'fashion' is watered down from the catwalks to the stores, and how women are dictated to in terms of what they are 'supposed' to be spending their money on wearing.

we also looked at body image and body shape. the girls were appalled to realise that a girl not bigger than they are would have literally nowhere except wal-mart to shop in our home town. the 'fashion' stores cater only for incy wincy teeny stick thins. so we looked at choice a bit, and asked if they felt they really had any.

Thank you. By relationships, I mean friendships mainly - how, basically, to have good self-esteem particularly within a relationship. A kind of base for what she'll start to need to know in five or so year's time. Stuff like 'you don't need a boyfriend to be happy/important/valued' etc. And about friendships/relationships being equal and mutually supportive, honest and open.

I might have to write something myself at this rate!

the american girl one has a couple of pages of 'the girl inside' stuff - feelings, mood changes, how to deal with different likes and dislikes between friends, and being true to yourself.

i'm not sure why you want a relationship advice thing so early though tbh. dd2 is 7.5 and nowhere near any of that stuff. dd1 is 11 and really only starting to notice boys now (and really on a whole oo am i going to get a valentine card thing, rather than how do i deal with having a relationship. relationships are a ways off yet)

i'm a leetle bit concerned you're trying to get her to grow up a bit too soon? i do understand that yr 2 is the usual 'which bee is the queen of the class' age for girls, but tbh ime it settles down again for another 3 or 4 years after that initial 7yo tussle for the prime spot... i'm not sure it's the right point to start focusing on puberty, really, it's more like the boys testosterone surge...

looking at my boy - he's being raised to see men and women as equal etc etc, but i wouldn't (even at 9) start talking puberty, or giving him a book to read.

i do applaud your preparedness though...

I just started talking to my two (boy and girl), answered any questions, got into detail where they were interested and added what I thought they needed to know. I've not used any books but they both have access to lots of novels about growing up (I have always really enjoyed coming of age booked for young teens so there are lots of them in our house). I think that if you want something straight up (ie not it's it great to be a teen now you can wear make up rubbish) then it's unlikely that it won't include sex and babies as well (not sure this is an issue for the OP in any case).

Talking to your children about growing up, relationship and yes even sex has absolutely nothing to do with innocence/making them grow up too fast. Plus it is much easier to talk about things like sex when they are younger and more inclined to listen to you.

My dd is in Guides, and whilst she really enjoys it I am fairly appalled at the difference between what her group does and what her brother in Scouts gets up to. This year so far his activities have included sledding, paintballing, skeet shooting, fishing, a night walk, skating, cross country skiing and two camps, she has done a scavenger hunt at the mall, two dances, a lot of karaoke, an overnight stay in a hall, swimming and lots of singing and craft activities.

over here it's to with insurance, nooka. tis why the guides fees are half the cost of the scouts ones. it gets me a bit cross as the guides get a percentage of their fees back for the units to spend as well, whereas the boys have to give all their fees to scouts canada. the girls national insurance is cheaper because they aren't allowed to do half the blooming activities...

we took our girls fishing at the last camp. they killed and gutted their own fish to cook on the campfire but we couldn't tell the district as killing stuff isn't appropriate for the laydeez. next month we are taking them snowshoeing on their winter camp, and building survival shelters. (we've decided not to take the brownies and sparks as we intend for them to be outside the whole weekend )

mind you, the last time we took the boys out on a trail we all had to carry big sticks as a gurt big cougar was living just outside the camp... some of our beavers just scream 'eat me! i can't run at all'