What makes a good mother?

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all,
I've been asked to write the intro to a special motherhood issue for a mag including a portfolio of Modern Motherhood comprising women in who have had: children in their teens, in their 40s, have adopted, had IVF, are co-parenting with their ex, and so on - to show the all-embracing range of motherhood today.

Just wondered if I could pick your "brians" on what you think the qualities of a good mother are and whether what you need to be a good mother has changed with our generation compared to our mothers?

Would love to know your thoughts. Tia.

I think that above all else there has to be a commitment to putting your childrens needs above your own , there has to be an acceptance and willingness to do that. From what I have seen of the world a lot starts going wrong if a woman starts off not knowing or accepting this and having the determination to see it through.

Being able to persevere, endure a lot of stress , be unpopular at times!!!

Know that you have to 'do' love not just show it.

In view of the thread about old ladies touching babies hands, I would also say it is about not treating them like a Ming vase, but putting friendliness and sociability above living in a sterile bubble. Setting a good example youself about being a member of the community.

Love them with a responsibility to do right by them

Have fun with them: laugh loud and join in with thier silly games.

Respect and empathise with thier emotions and what important with them (at the moment it's dd1s toys and her hiding place)

Say sorry when your wrong and explain that you shouldn't do what you did.

Talk to them about he world around them and somewhat of what life is like

Try and prepare them for adulthood as much as possible without scaring them

Lots and lots and lots of kisses and cuddles and telling them how amazing they are and how much you love them

I think it is about being devoted to your kids but also being a good role model in terms of having your own interests and life, whether you are a SAHM or WOHM. Not making the kids feel you are dependent on/defined solely by them - I think it is dangerous to be a 'mummy martyr'. With my mother's generation - well, there was still a mix of SAHMs and WOHMs, but I think the concept of 'me-time' and 'quality time' (hate that phrase) is relatively new to this generation. For me, I need that 'me-time' in order to be a good mother so that I can recharge/switch off for a bit and have more attention/energy to give to my kids as a result.