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Original poster

whats harder going from no dcs to 1dc or 1dc to 2dcs?

68 replies

familyofthree · 19/01/2011 20:21

hi all,

dont go on this much so please bear with me, i have 1 dd shes 17months and me and my dp are planing our 2nd, just wondered if its harder than going from no children to 1??

OP posts:

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reddaisy · 19/01/2011 20:26

I am pregnant with DC2. It MUST be harder going from 0 to 1 because it is such a massive lifechange. But, I will repost again in September when DC2 arrives and let you know for sure!

AnyFucker · 19/01/2011 20:28

from 0~~>1

without a friggin' doubt

from 1~~2 was a piece of piss compared to that

maryz · 19/01/2011 20:29

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fruitful · 19/01/2011 20:30

0 to 1, definitely hardest.
1 to 2, not so bad. The baby is a doddle, the hard part is coping with the toddler when there is a baby on the scene.
2 to 3, bloody hell. But still not as bad as 0 to 1.

Prob depends very much what your children are like though. In my case, each baby was a better sleeper than the last, so that helped.

headfairy · 19/01/2011 20:30

I don't think either one is harder than the other. With the first you're usually "oh my God, what do I do now?", with number two it's more like "I know what to do, I just can't work out how to do it all at the same time!" It's like you've got both children screaming and you have to work out which one you love the most :o

fruitful · 19/01/2011 20:31

Lol maryz - the third one was the one that sent me over the edge, I think!

CrispyTheCrisp · 19/01/2011 20:32

My mum said 1-2 (i am the second DC )

Her closest friend would have said 0-1

I say about the same, 1 a shock as all so new, however DD1 was a sleeper. DD2 is not....

MegBusset · 19/01/2011 20:33

I found 0-1 much, much harder than 1-2. DS1 was a nightmare baby whereas DS2 was really jolly and laidback and luckily there's been no jealousy.

Two toddlers is a fricking nightmare though

mummyshreddingnora · 19/01/2011 20:33

depends what aspects you mean!

0-1 harder for sheer overwhelming WTF am I doingness

1-2 for exhaustion, chaos and general blur!

the first two months or so of DS being born I think I must have just sat there in a huh?! face - I have no idea how I managed with No nighttime or daytime sleep!

LadyintheRadiator · 19/01/2011 20:34

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rubyslippers · 19/01/2011 20:34

0 - 1

Two wasn't twice as much work as I had feared initially

It is getting that way now DD is older

Overall still going from none to one was hardcore

sheeplikessleep · 19/01/2011 20:35

0-1 harder, mentally and in terms of amount of worrying / thinking about things is knackering in itself.

physically, 1-2 is harder. juggling needs of both and not getting ANY daytime sleep is torture. being awake every 2 hours or more in the night and then at 6am, thinking, i'm not going to bed until this evening and have to entertain a toddler in the meantime.

but i've actually enjoyed ds1 babyhood more, because i'm not worrying about every minut detail i did with ds1.

montysorry · 19/01/2011 20:36

Depends on lots of factors mainly the age gap. The fact that your DD is already 17mths means that she'll be at least 2.5 when baby 2 comes along. So she'll be better placed to understand it and as she approaches 3yrs she'll have more autonomy.

I have 3 DCs. 20mths between 1&2 and 22mths between 2&3. Going from none to 1 was hard going as our lives changed dramatically and I gave up work. We didn't have a clue what we were doing so it was pretty much hit and miss. It also strained our marriage somewhat as I changed so much as a person with hugely different priorities.

Going from 1 to 2 was horrendous and I wouldn't recommend having 2 under 2yrs to anyone. (but you wont be in this situation) Everyone I know with more than one child always says they ask themselves why they ever found it hard with just 1!
However, it is lovely to watch them growing up so close and when they were about 5&3 they played together all the time. Less now that DS is 7yrs but I don't think I'd change it.

Going from 2 to 3 was easy peasy! DD2 just slotted right in and I barely noticed a change other than the return to sleepless nights. She slept through very early which I'm sure was due to her just having to fit around us rather than the other way around.

Sorry for slight essay! To summarise, I'd say it was harder but harder in a different way from having your first. Harder physically if they're both still young/in nappies and emotionally as you often don't get them napping at the same time.

Hope this helps a little!

wukter · 19/01/2011 20:37

This is v interesting. September and baby no 2 is looming.

undercovamutha · 19/01/2011 20:37

0-1 is much harder because it is such a HUGE life change.

However, 1-2 is a SERIOUS juggling act, with very little break.

However, by the time no.2 comes along you have already accepted that all spontaneity/freetime/peace/quiet is gone for the foreseeable future.

wukter · 19/01/2011 20:38

AnyFucker · 19/01/2011 20:40

it's gotta depend on the age gap though

there is 5 yrs between my two

montysorry · 19/01/2011 20:42

Yep, I think age gap is key. I think the fact that I had a newborn and a 20mth old is why I remember it as being so bloody awful!

WorzselMummage · 19/01/2011 20:42

None to one was HARD! Huge adjustments all round.

One to two... EASY PEASY

maryz · 19/01/2011 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

montysorry · 19/01/2011 20:44

Though going from 2 to 3 with just a 22mth gap seemed easy.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/01/2011 20:45

Hmmm. DC2 is due at the end of March.

I am dreading the lack of sleep already. With DS, I used to nap during the day a lot, but the little darling has decided to drop his daytime nap 3 months before his sibling arrives so there is NO chance that I will get even 10 minutes here or there.

montysorry · 19/01/2011 20:47

That will be the Rioja, Maryz! Maybe it was heavy drinking that got me through? Thought my post sounded a bit of a ramble TBH!

cookieraymond · 19/01/2011 20:48

oooo both hard for different reasons BUT IMO it ALLLLLLL depends on what kinda baby you had first and what kinda baby you have second.

Baby's temperament is critical to the overall experience!

I know people who had 'good' first ones and dreadful second ones and vice versa so each would say opposite!

I hope your first was a nightmare

simonedeboudoir · 19/01/2011 20:49

I foung 0 to 1 the hardest. So anxious about everything, had so little confidence in what I was doing, felt so ill informed and dependent on others' input and opinions, and at times allowed others' views to override my own instinct (because 'what did I know?'). Plus the physical exhaustion.

My second baby was sooo much easier because having been through it all before, I knew what I was doing and generally worried less. But physically more tiring as was also running round after a toddler. And the nights were worse for about a year as I'd be waking up with both of them; but that passes. Also I was expecting dd2 to be a carbon copy of dd1 and of course that wasn't the case. But I still think 0 to 1 is the biggest leap.

You'll be fine, good luck!

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