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Original poster

whats harder going from no dcs to 1dc or 1dc to 2dcs?

68 replies

familyofthree · 19/01/2011 20:21

hi all,

dont go on this much so please bear with me, i have 1 dd shes 17months and me and my dp are planing our 2nd, just wondered if its harder than going from no children to 1??

OP posts:

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montysorry · 19/01/2011 20:49

Yes, Ali, the fact that I slept when baby did first time and couldn't 2nd time was probably a bit factor for me. I was just permanently shattered!

Blackletterday · 19/01/2011 20:49

I would say 1-2. With 1 dc you can give them 100% attention whenever you wish, you can sleep/relax when they nap/sleep, it's all new, therefore more interesting .

Although the change from 0-1 was a steep learning curve, I found it easier than 1-2. It's quite circumstance specific though, I had a lot more support in the early days with number 1. Plus I had PND with number 2, plus my Mum died when number 2 was 3 months, so altogether the early months with dc2 were a complete nightmare.

The change from 1-2 would still have been tough though. Dd hated the new arrival on sight and they didn't really make friends until dc3 was born 3 years later. I found 2-3 brilliant for the first few months, the whole sibling rivalry thing diluted. I still prefer having 3 now that dc3 is 15 months, seems easier somehow. May change in the future mind.

Original poster

familyofthree · 19/01/2011 20:49

sounds like i should get the 2nd out the way and move onto the 3rd

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KnittingRocks · 19/01/2011 20:52

1 - 2 much much harder but then DS1 was an 'angel' baby - and continues to be a bloody easy toddler .

DS2. Hmm. What can I say?!

Original poster

familyofthree · 19/01/2011 20:53

cookieraymond my dd was nightmare! only just started sleeping threw the night......

blackletterday so sorry to here about your mum

OP posts:

TemperTrapped · 19/01/2011 20:55

To be honest, I found 1-2 so hard that I probably would have stopped at 1 if I could see the future.
Although, if I could see the future and see what it will be like in 5 years/ 10 years I might think having 2 is ok.

(Having v hard time with dc aged 5 and 3.)

Blackletterday · 19/01/2011 20:56

Although I must say dd(dc1) and ds1(dc2) were chalk and cheese as babies. Dd was a bit of a screamer and required various jigglings and cuddlings to get to sleep. Ds1 was quite content from birth, apart from having to wind for ages he hardly ever cried, he never took a dummy and would self settle when swaddled.

They both slept through from 6 months, but ds1 was the easier baby by far.

wukter · 19/01/2011 20:58

Thanks MaryZ.

oh god. I'm going to bed. Just reading this thread is exhausting and I am going to treasure my sleep when I can...

Blackletterday · 19/01/2011 20:58

Thankyou familyofthree, honestly, go for three it's great

JetLi · 19/01/2011 21:00

Read most but not all of the posts. DC2 due imminently. Heavily pregnant + 18m toddler is Bloody Hard Work. I'm convinced baby + toddler + no bump has got to be easier

SleepWhenImDead · 19/01/2011 21:03

1 to 2, by a mile. 0 to 1 was a piece of piss in comparison.

I knew quite a bit about babies before having DS1 and so was pretty prepared for it. Once I worked out how to get him to nap, I was pretty bored really, he was an easy baby. Nothing can prepare you for the pull between your two children; I still find it difficult to prioritise when they are both crying for help, and I end up getting very stressed as a result. Plus, DS2 is a whingebag in comparison to DS1 and DS1 is a demanding toddler. Anyone who goes for a third is a lot braver woman than I.

montysorry · 19/01/2011 21:03

Yep! 3 is definitely the magic number! Seriously though, I think the dynamics of 3 are really good although it can be a bugger if you want to book a package holiday.

Blackletterday, sorry for your loss. My mum was killed by a drunk driver when DC2 was very little. I'm sure that didn't help how I felt as I probably should have disclosed that eary on in the thread. I still think 2 under 2 is a crazy lady's game!

nowwearefour · 19/01/2011 21:05

i would also say 1-2. both mine were easy-ish in the first few months so it wasnt that. but simply having one already to cope with when tired and trying to feed etc is difficult.

SleepWhenImDead · 19/01/2011 21:06

JetLi - yes, marginally

cece · 19/01/2011 21:16

0 - 1 was extremely tough.

1- 2 hard but not nearly as difficult. Had two and half year age gap

2 - 3 was easy! Had 5 and half year gap, so other two at school, so some of the time just like having one again! Except this time it was easy!

wintersniffle · 19/01/2011 21:19

Not sure I can really judge yet but so far 0-1, DS2 is only 5 days old so that may change!

Didn't have a clue about babies before DS1 and although in retrospect he was a ridiculously easy baby I really struggled with being totally clueless and the lifestyle change.

1+bump was absolutely awful.

1-2 going well so far but might be worth checking whether this is still the case once DP goes back to work .

Original poster

familyofthree · 19/01/2011 21:22

forgot to add congratulations to all the mummys to be on this post

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MangoTango · 19/01/2011 21:23

I found going from 1 -2 much harder than 0 -1. DD1 was a chilled baby and of course I could sleep when she slept or at least get a break when she napped and I didn't have a toddler to worry about. DD2 was not chilled and I couldn't sleep when she slept or get a break and DD1 was jealous. I found it very hard catering for the needs of a baby and a toddler rather than just being able to concentrate on one baby. Maybe it would have been easier if I had had them the other way round as dd1 would prob have just fitted in.

timetosmile · 19/01/2011 21:25

The consensus seems to be to go straight from one to three (as long as you have a tumble drier )

MakemineaGandT · 19/01/2011 21:28

0-1 was absolutely fine for me

1-2 was horrendous.......but only because baby 1 was a great sleeper/feeder and baby 2 was a screaming nightmare. For months.

maryz · 19/01/2011 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JetLi · 19/01/2011 21:34

pmsl @ timetosmil

whoodoo · 19/01/2011 21:37

0-1 dreadful- thought I'd ruined my life
1-2 (2 year gap) was piece of piss
2-3 (19m gap) has had it's moments but overall just another kid to chuck in the bath. In for a penny and all that....

Allegrogirl · 19/01/2011 21:38

Going from from 0-1 was really,really hard for me. Adjusting to being a mum and not putting myself first anymore. Plus DD1 had reflux, slow weight gain, cried a lot. I really doubted my abilities as a mum.

DD2 is sooo much easier and I am more confident as a mum. When DD1 is at preschool life is easy peasy. I have a 2.10 age gap. Toddler and baby together easier for me than just baby the first time around.

As mentioned previously whether DC1/2 are easy or hard plus age gap has a lot to do with it.

There isn't going to be a DC3 sadly (too old and poor), so can't comment on that.

gibbberish · 19/01/2011 21:40

Absolutely agree with cookie that it depends on the nature of the baby.

Going from 0 to 1 for me was a truly horrific and shattering experience. dd1 was probably the most difficult baby known to man.

dd2 on the other hand was the absolute opposite - slept through after a few weeks, contended, rarely cried etc etc. So from 1 to 2 was a doddle.

Don't start me on 2 to 3... but 3 to 4 was a dream

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