Suddenly a Really challenging 5 yr old - plse give me some good tips on discipline and setting boundaries

[masuki]

Having such a hard hard time with my DS who is 5. He is resorting to toddler behaviour - as soon as he doesnt get his own way he throws himself on floor kicks feet in air and SCREAMS! He did this last week in a food shop and it was so so shocking.

Maybe i have been too wooolly lately on setting boundaries and being clear about acceptable behaviour so please please - help me out while i get back on track!

Am trying to say to him " i will only listen to you when you calm down - plse go sit on bottom step (of stairs) until you are ready to talk to me"

if screaming continues, i send hime to room and ask him to calm down.... and then take a toy away for a week :(((

But today, we were late for school as he refused to help get dressed, kicked me, screamed for half hour because i sent him to his room, and only started getting dressed when I lost it totally and screamed screamed screamed at him. I don't want to be a screamer - it affects my whole day and breaks my heart.

Help - how do i get him to listen, to be kind, to cooperate???

thankyouxxx

I think the way you were dealing with it is great. Shame you got cross this morning but just take a deep breath and keep going. My ds is just 6 and i do the same as you with sitting on the stairs,i tell him to come and talk to me when he's stopped crying. i don't send him to his room as he can be silly when he's cross.

thankyou for your words LooLOO, good to hear you are doing same sort of thing...

any more ideas out there???

i have a 10 year old who does this still sometimes!!!! lol

seriously tho you are totally on the right track - i have 4 children and they all take it in turns to push - especially if i am being a bit fluffly (when i'm tired or under the weather for example)

thing that works really well with mine, but can be a huge effort when i'm worn out and worn down, is praise. if you praise the good stuff, alot, they get really into the good attention and dont feel the need to kick off badly for the bad attention.

so, try a little subtle blackmail. a sticker chart where they get a sticker each time they get dressed nicely, eat well, stay at the table etc (whatever is important to you, but just little things for now) 0 and when they get 5/10 stickers they get a dinky car, or a little pack of chocolate buttons, or a trip to the park.

oh, and, i'm sure we all have a scream every now and then and then feel totally rubbish and inadequate for a while, so try not to dwell on that, and remember all the good things you achieve. this is just a hiccup and you will move past it - promise xxx

thankyou for your thoughts. i think he is wanting my attention, and maybe alot of his behaviour is all about that.... it feels quite hard to give him much right now. life is fast and crazy...

The other thing I do masuki is to praise him really warmly for doing anyhting straight after he's been asked. e.g. if I ask him and dc2 to play quietly while I cook I'll make a point of going in and making a fuss of them if the are playing quietly rather than only going in to tell them off.