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Parenting

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Original poster

When did you let your children play alone in their bedrooms?

32 replies

starsareshining · 29/12/2010 00:09

My son has just turned three. He now has some lovely but large toys which are in his bedroom. We're not really up there very often and it seems a shame for him to be stuck downstairs when there are a lot of nice things upstairs. Of course, I would play with him too, but I'm currently trying to encourage him to play alone. There really isn't much for me to do upstairs, so would it be odd for me to leave him up there to play?

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pagwatch · 29/12/2010 00:13

Err, no.

Why would it be odd? Let him play.

maktaitai · 29/12/2010 00:21

Depends how sensible he is - also beware what he gets up to with any friends of his own age - I wouldn't leave a pair alone for long before 3 and a half myself.

am very - 'Let' would be amazing. 'Force' is more like it in our house - ds has always hated playing alone and he's almost 7.

BertieBottlesOfMulledWine · 29/12/2010 00:30

DS is 2.2 and can handle stairs so he has the run of the house. I'd be happy for him to play in his room if he wanted to. He generally wants to be in the room or at least on the level that I am, though.

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SantarissaCripslock · 29/12/2010 00:33

I don't let my 3 year old play in his bedroom alone - he's just turned 3 too. He'd trash the room and then pretend to be Spiderman and climb on the window ledge and throw himself off. I do let him play upstairs with his big brother (just turned 6) as he would totally tell on him as soon as he even thought of being evil naughty.

ShowOfHands · 29/12/2010 00:33

DD is 3.7 and has played alone in her room for a long time. At least a year. It's safe, she's sensible. I shout up regularly to check she's okay but she likes to go up and do her jigsaws/read.

Orissiah · 29/12/2010 09:05

My DD is 2.5yrs and has played alone regularly since she was at least 12 months old. I've always encouraged independent play from an early age as I think it's a good skill for small children to have. She started going upstairs to her room to play by herself since she turned 2.

bambiandthumper · 29/12/2010 12:40

I am happy to let my twins 3.5 play upstairs separately, but together they cause carnage.

Though as they are insisting on sleeping in the same room at the moment i've had to move most of their toys downstairs, otherwise they just never sleep.

It probably depends if you can hear him if he needed you.

strandednomore · 29/12/2010 12:43

Dd2 has just turned 3 and disappears for ages - I have no idea where she is sometimes. She is pretty sensible though and is usually with her even more sensible 5-yr-old sister.

compo · 29/12/2010 12:45

Oh yes I've always let mine play in their rooms
I sporadically check on them
it's only when it all goes quiet I worry
but usually I can hear what they're doing - Lego is pretty noisy for example

simpson · 29/12/2010 12:47

DD (2.11) has played in her own room for a good while now. At a guess I would say at least 9mths.

She and her 5yr old brother often go upstairs.

Although I have to admit DD is hypermobile in her hips & ankles so not the best at coming downstairs by herself on her feet, but she slides down on her bottom

TheSleepFairy · 29/12/2010 12:49

DD3 will be 3 in March & she likes to sit & play in her bedroom. I make sure that the games with smaller bits are out of reach & do a pen check on her sister's rooms, I make sure my bedroom door & the bathroom door is shut but apart from that she can go where ever she likes.
She is a quiet child though & prefers to sit & do puzzles, look at bookes & play babies.

Iwasthefourthwiseman · 29/12/2010 12:49

Dd has forever but then we lived in a flat till she was three. When we moved into a house I was a bit nervous about but she is fine.

RockinRobinBird · 29/12/2010 12:55

DD is nearly 3 and plays in her bedroom alone for maybe 20 minutes at a time. She does trash it though, which is the only reason I don't leave her longer.

TabithaTwitchet · 29/12/2010 13:07

DD has just turned 3, and has played alone in her room for months - not really sure how long. I can usually hear her chattering away to her toys, if it goes quiet I shout up and ask if she is OK, and she is good at replying, also I go up and check on her every so often.
DD is very careful and gentle, so I'm not too worried about any destructive behaviour (although she has drawn on the floor with crayons a few times). The worst thing she does is to remove her neatly folded clothes from their drawers to use as blankets for her teddies .

APixieInMyMulledWine · 29/12/2010 13:52

Ds is 21months and has been playing in his room alone since he could crawl to it.

He regularly wanders off in there to play if I'm busy making dinner etc.

Original poster

starsareshining · 30/12/2010 13:08

Sorry I'm coming back to this quite late. Everything's been quite hectic!

The only problem I have is that I still have a stairgate at the top of the stairs. Have you taken off your stairgates or do you just open them when they're coming up and down? I can imagine that his favourite game would be shouting me up to open the gate and then changing his mind.

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sleepwhenidie · 30/12/2010 13:25

Apixie I'm glad you said that , my DS2 has been crawling off and playing on his own in DS1's room since about 8m old (it is on same floor as living areas though, not upstairs so I can hear him and I do regular checks for cursed paymobil and lego bits!) - he is DC3 so probably has a lot to do with it, not sure my pfb would have done it - he still isn't keen on playing alone....ponders nature/nurture effect...

sleepwhenidie · 30/12/2010 13:29

Stars - depends how proficient he is with your stairs, or if they are particularly dangerous surely ?

My first two DC's mastered stairs very quickly as we only have 4 stairs at a time in our home, I felt fairly confident letting them tackle them early on as falls wouldn't be disastrous...most 3 year olds can cope though can't they? I would be inclined to remove the gate by now.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 30/12/2010 13:36

DS is 27mths and I have let him play alone in his room for several months now usually when I need a shower/bath in the mornings. I have a stairgate on his bedroom to contain him though as if he had the run of the upstairs he would be into everything he shouldn't be. I wouldn't let him climb up and down the stairs unsupervised though. He has only recently been asking to go to his bedroom to play and sometimes when he wakes up in the mornings he will quite happily play alone for around half an hour. He has been known to push DP or I away if we come to check on him! Cheeky monkey!

Orissiah · 30/12/2010 17:39

No stairgates in our house as DD is very careful. So basically she is free to have a run of the house.

Original poster

starsareshining · 30/12/2010 22:24

I'm just not really sure of the stairs, although I am probably being overly cautious. I would have taken the stair gates off if he'd become big enough to climb over it or something, but he has possible growth problems and is around the size of a 12 month old baby. I worry that he might not be able to reach the banister, although he does usually manage to keep hold of it.

Should I let him practice on the stairs or something? He's only occasionally done it without me such as the times he has a strop and refuses to come down so comes down five minutes later alone.

I'd just love to let him have the freedom to go wherever he likes in the house. I know that it's pretty unlikely that he will play up there alone if he has to be escorted up and down.

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Hedgepig · 31/12/2010 12:02

I'd get him to practice going up and down the stairs on his bottom rather than walking down. Then he can do it on his own. DS2 (2yrs and can't reach the hand rail) will walk down with an adult but on his own he goes down on his bottom

sleepwhenidie · 31/12/2010 15:15

Hi Stars-without wanting to hijack thread, what are your ds's growth probs? Our DS2 is tiny (12m and 15lbs, was IUGR, 4lbs at birth) and we are waiting for an appointment with a specialist to try and establish if there are any genetic/medical reasons for it. Have you had any checks done so far? Has DS always been small? I am fascinated to chat to anyone with similar experiences.

Btw, definitely get ds to practice stairs on bottom or tummy

Original poster

starsareshining · 31/12/2010 18:11

Ok. Lots of stair practice in our house for a while then!

sleepwhenidie, my son was quite large (8lb 11oz) when born, given that I was a young mother and a small person, and was at the 50th centile on his height and weight charts. Since then they have both steadily declined and he's now way off the bottom of the charts. We saw quite a few doctors but nobody was too concerned because he is entirely in proportion and obviously developing well in every other way.

However, I did recently have an appointment with a consultant who told me that she's almost certain there is an underlying problem as he was a normal height and weight when he was born. She told me that the most likely problem is a growth hormone deficiency. He's had an x-ray on his wrist to determine bone age (which was very quick and easy) and blood tests which were not at all quick and easy. Couldn't find a vein and ended up staying there for 5 hours. Tried inner elbows on both arms, both hands, wrist, thumb and foot. Eventually got some from his foot, but the wrist was done without numbing cream and bruised terribly, and they cut his thumb before attempting to squeeze out three little vials from it. It was actually horrendous, especially given that I am trying to overcome a fairly bad phobia of needles. Just needed to get that off my chest!

I have an appoinement in January with a paediatric endocrinologist, so he'll discuss the results of the x-ray and blood tests with me then. There you go! Have you seen anybody yet or are you still waiting for your first appointment?

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NormalityBites · 31/12/2010 18:13

Since birth, pretty much! She's always played upstairs in her bedroom, I thought that was what it was for! Well one function at least. She's 4.5 now.

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