Playful Parenting! Did it help you?

[APixieInMyTea]

I've just downloaded this to the iPad on a few recommendations, I'm only just on the 2nd chapter and I'm quite impressed.

Thought maybe we can talk here about the book, did you find it useful, did it change the way you 'play' with your children?

Just from reading the first chapter, I already understand a lot more about my toddler's behaviour (good and bad) and looking forward to reading the rest.

I just started reading it too so am interested in responses to your post and in discussing it. Seems great so far and I think I interacted differently with my dd just this morning after reading chapter one.

Hi everymum

Yeah, I'm the same. Read the first chapter last night and without realising it really put it into practice with my toddler this morning.

He's been really whingy the last few days and it's been really driving on his dad and me mad. He can't talk yet so I know he's frustrated about us not understanding him.

He started the whinging again this morning and was roaring at me so instead of going through loads of things trying to figure out what was wrong with him I said "Oh so your going to be a lion today then?". I then got down othe floor and starting crawling round the floor roaring at him and "shaking my mane" He was in fits of laughter and joined in.

5minutes later everything was ok again whereas yesterday it would have continued all day.

It seems so simple and I don't know why it wasn't something I did before without reading the book if you know what I mean?

Ooh, I've got this on my Amazon wish list!! Be interested to hear anything more about putting its suggestions into practice...

i'm only 1/2 way through but finding life much easier if i joke and mess about with ds1 when he's pushing all the boundries - much easier to mess around and both end up laughing than for me to end up shouting and have him end up crying and me feeling guilty! i'm not very good at flicking the switch and messing about though so need lots more practice. he's only 2 1/2 though.

Yes, it doesn't come naturally to me either natural baby I am not a playful person I suppose. But, today when she was refusing to leave her friend's house and heading for carseat refusal hell, I made a joke and pretended I had forgotten to take her home with me and couldn't find her anyway and she burst out laughing and got in the car like an angel. Was simply amazed. I think it will take us all practice but it is so great to hear other's stories.

Well today went well, far less whinging than usual.

It took a little time to get into the swing of things but by the time he'd woke up from his nap, it was coming a little more naturally.

We've had much more laughter going on in this house today.

I think it'll still take a while for it to come naturally but we're one step closer.

everymum Sounds like you diffused the situation well.

naturalbaby your post sounds exactly like we usually are. My ds is 20months old, and not speaking yet gets us both frustrated until we both end up crying and shouting.

Right off to read some more I think.

IC I'm hoping we can get a few more stories too. It'll be useful to know how different approaches/games can be made in certain situations.

I have this book on my bedside table, keep meaning to read it!
Agree it would be brilliant to hear of success stories for different scenarios.

I've been dipping into bits of this book in the bath this week. Its such a refreshing book and even in this short time has turned things around. I feel like I have been given permission to be much much dafter and we have had such a great few days together as a result. I used to do time-out if needed but this has resulted in less time-out and 'holding' instead. I never really thought 'holding' would work but it does and I'm quite shocked. I also agree with the empty/full cup thing. Can't wait to read more of the book during my next bubble bath soak. I love to read books to help me reflect on my parenting but this is one of the best I'm sure.

Hi ladies, iv heard a bit about this book and really wanted to get it and iv only tried two book shops but neither had it! Very disappointed. Where did ye all get it? amazon? Great to hear success from it I think its exactly what I need... Any tips or advice what to do to put it into practice much appreciated :)

Oh this is on my Amazon wishlist. Until I get it, can someone tell me a) what "holding" is, b) what is the "playful" approach to getting through a nappy change when toddler is resisting, c) what is the "playful" approach to encouraging toddler to eat her dinner.

I am quite a routine-obsessed, strict mother but have seen that humour and playfulness works so well with my toddler DD; however, I need to be reminded to be playful as it doesn't come easily to me!

I guess the 'playful' approach to eating dinner is the 'choo choo train' we all remember! Putting the food in a silly face (or getting them to create a face) is a good one. Personally I wouldn't bother getting them/me to play in the context of food, I just couldn't be bothered. Food is offered, food is eaten (or not), food is removed if anything is thrown or messed with on the basis that they have finished. It's worth trying to be playful, but a massive effort if you do it for all issues.

I haven't read this book yet but I have ordered it following a recommendation on here.

But I would second what cornettos says about not encouraging a toddler to play with food .
DH does this, eg he makes his omelette open it's mouth and speak, sticks cherry tomatoes in his eyes etc. Then the DCs copy him but they don't know when to stop, and they are 6 and 7. It drives me crazy!

I'm not sure a playful approach is necessarily 'choo choo trains'... more would expect 'ooh aren't these carrots crunchy? yum!' crunch!'

Book sounds interesting. Mine and dh's default parenting (and teaching) style is silly probably quite playful.I do believe it works well and does not mean we don't have clear boundaries - we really do.

A good trick I use is to say YES (when I am in a NO mood) and then quickly think 'what can I say yes to?'... so
ds:'want biscuit!!!'
me: 'YES... ds you can have a biscuit later' or 'YES you can have a pretend biscuit - here it is it's HUGE look!' (and then I pretend to eat it instead of him )

(the pretend thing sounds barmy but it works surprisingly well on both 2.5yr ds and 4.5yr dd. Though did have to stop them actually fighting over a pretend biscuit the other day )

The book is not specifically about letting kids play with their food or existing without consistent boudaries. I've only read part of the book but it's more about parents having a playful approach through out the day and children having a 'full cup' among other things. I find how I am really rubs off on our kids. When i am grumpy - they are grumpy, when i am fun/upbeat - they are.

Yer posts are very interesting, thank you for explaining :) I really do want this book it sounds excellent! Iv even tried a bit just from reading yer posts ds's say thanks too :)

Am going to seek this book out too.

My 'playful' approach to nappy changing/getting dressed is usually... 'right, so let me put this nappy on your head..?'
'Noooooooo!!' (gigggles)
'on your... knee?
'Nooooo'
'on your ... nose?' (while doing nappy)

you get the point. Dh is v good at silly nappy changes*!

*when he is in the mood...

This all sounds brilliant!

Just removed the book from the bathroom and have it in front of me now. Cover talks about how children communicate/express themselves through play and that playful parenting can help build stronger closer bonds between parent and child/solve problem behaviour and encourage confidence.

OK, there are 2 books called Playful Parenting on Amazon - one by Lawrence J Cohen, the other by Denise Chapman Weston and Mark Weston - which one are you all talking about please??

I have been reading this thread with interest, but don't want to get the wrong book!

bumping as I'd like to know which it is too. Sounds like it's just what I need

I've ordered this from the library. I don't have a problem being playful as such but I have a problem doing it when dd is being a pain, I just can't bring myself to do it when she should just be doing as she is told. Does it address that sort of thing?

I don't know (about to order from library myself). Personally, I would say that sometimes we miss the point (ie what our goal is) and focus on the wrong bit.

eg we want the dc in their car seat. They don't want to do up the straps. They need their straps done up.

one route says 'you just bloody well do it'
the other uses a playful approach as above, or distraction etc.

Both result in child in car seat, with straps done up. So what you wanted! You won!

I know which route is more peaceful and pleasant and less stressful. It also IMVHO quicker and tbh just WORKS.

I think children learn that what you say, you do really mean (no empty threats etc). So that on the occasion when you have got to say 'JUST DO IT!' they do, because they know they will have to eventually (if that makes sense.)

FWIW I do this approach with my secondary aged (very challenging) students. Am known as a 'strict teacher'

It's this one

Lots of positive reviews on Amazon and in the MN book review section.

I'm really hoping it'll be in my Xmas stocking!!!

(I thought it was the Cohen one btw)

This looks really interesting. I am a shouty mum and have recently really tried to be less shouty and I think it is working to a certain extent but will give this a shot and see how we go. My husband tends to do playful parenting quite naturally, and tbh it has annoyed me in the past that he plays games with them when, imo, he should be telling them off for not doing what he's asked. But Adair I can see what you're saying, dh can make it fun and get it done or I could shout to try and make my point.