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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Playful Parenting! Did it help you?

83 replies

APixieInMyTea · 11/12/2010 23:35

I've just downloaded this to the iPad on a few recommendations, I'm only just on the 2nd chapter and I'm quite impressed.

Thought maybe we can talk here about the book, did you find it useful, did it change the way you 'play' with your children?

Just from reading the first chapter, I already understand a lot more about my toddler's behaviour (good and bad) and looking forward to reading the rest.

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MammyG · 15/12/2010 21:53

OMG delighted to come across this thread - think you may have found the book for me or rather for my boys! I can get quite stressed at home but as an infant teacher would be naturally a bit playful. Find my boys really respond to it but would like to be sure its directed properly.

putthekettleon · 16/12/2010 14:07

I was inspired by this thread yesterday... DD1 was messing about getting ready for bed last night and instead of shouting at her I made up a song about a 'pyjama race' and said she had to race to see who could get their pyjamas on quicker, her or DD2 (6 months, who was sitting gurgling on the bed). It worked a treat, we even had a victory dance and (imaginary) prizegiving

And this morning we had a race to see who could finish their cereal quickest, I'm warming to the theme...

Iwasthefourthwiseman · 16/12/2010 15:01

A friend of mine with older children said she use to use 'fast pants' with her children i.e. 'do you have your fast pants on?'

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sethstarofbethlehemsmum · 16/12/2010 15:07

that sounds interesting. I have a book called 'How to con your kid' which sounds similar in some ways.

ds1 was refusing to have his wellies on the other day and I pretended to forget to put his socks on, he thought it was hilarious and was telling me how to do it, problem solved.

MumInBeds · 16/12/2010 15:37

This book looks great. My children are older now (11 and 7) , is this a book you think could still be useful? Or could it be put into use at work in a Pre-school setting?

Original poster

APixieInMyTea · 16/12/2010 16:55

Haven't been on in a while due to 13 week old ds going through what can only be described as an amazing growth spurt but have had a few great days with my toddler so will be on later.

Glad a few of you have found this thread useful

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SkyBluePearl · 16/12/2010 18:16

I've got he Lawrence J Cohen one - hes a psycologist.

BigChiefOrganiser · 17/12/2010 19:08

Thanks, I shall order it.

One thing I do find useful is making lists, counting on my fingers what we will do, the next 3-5 things. So if it's bedtime. I'll give him a 5min warning. Then I say, we're going to:

brush teeth
have a pee
put a nappy and pj's on
read a story in bed

this seems to work well

Wirlies · 17/12/2010 19:27

mumInBed, this sort of approach works v.well with my 7yr old, who finds it quite hard to get out of a bad mood when he's in one. Sometimes hilarity is the only remedy. Not sure if it will work for an 11yr old, but I hope so !

Adair · 17/12/2010 19:52

Works with my 11-16yr olds (teaching not parenting though). Used to teach in a PRU (pupil referral unit- for children excluded from school) with very challenging behaviour. Def the best approach for me.

This thread has been an inspiration. Have ordered book but assuming it won't get here too soon! Then we can all compare stories...

Adair · 17/12/2010 20:05

Just scanned through book on Amazon (most of it seems to be available). So many things jumped out at me as things I believe already (eg attention -seeking kids NEED attention, closeness and intimacy is vital, a general positivity is important for positive behaviour). So excited about this book now!

Original poster

APixieInMyTea · 17/12/2010 20:51

Been spending A LOT more the on the floor with my toddler since reading the book.

I'm ashamed to say that I was never really a "playful" parent and even less so since his baby brother came along.

Now baby brother is 13 weeks old and is more predictable, it's enabled me to focus more on my toddler.

The last few day's have been fairly tantrum free and I'm pretty sure that's something to do with "keeping his cup full" as the saying (in the book) goes.

We had an incident this morning where he got frustrated and started throwing his wooden blocks around in anger. Instead of shouting at him to stop and taking the blocks away and him getting even more angry, I decided to let him continue getting his frustrations out in a more "playful" way. So I got a bucket, put it at one end of the room away from anything breakable, and we took turns at throwing the blocks at the bucket to see who could get them in.

Eventually, when he felt better, he tipped up the bucket and we carried on building towers as we were before in a nice un-angry way.

Nappy changes are more difficult, if he was verbal, I would attempt to potty train him but at the moment he just wriggles and squirms when I get his nappy off. If we haven't got anywhere to be I just let him go and chase him round the house with the clean nappy on my head. He thinks this is hilarious and mostly settles down to put the nappy on after a few minutes.

I'm sure there's been more but drawing a blank at the moment as very tired. I will come back when I can.

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SkyBluePearl · 19/12/2010 20:14

really enjoying hearing everyones thoughts and what they have been up to. x

libelulle · 20/12/2010 11:04

I have book on order for Xmas but from the stories here it sounds pretty much like our natural parenting style. But given that, I'm interested in the limits of the method, as our DD (2.9) has recently started refusing to play ball when she's really annoyed. You can try to lighten the mood no end with silly games/nappy on head type distraction but she'll just bury her head in nearest cushion/lap/floor and refuse to engage. She's quite a bright little thing and I wonder if sometimes she perceives a bit too much that she's being manipulated? Either that or do kids sometimes just want to be miserable, and then an excessively playful parent can be a bit of an irritation! On the whole I still think pp is the way to go, but I can also see the downsides for the child.

Adair · 20/12/2010 13:21

Yes, you might want to read 'How to Talk so kids will listen' too as it talks lots about acknowledging kids feelings. I would say we need to listen to our children first and foremost - I don't believe being playful means being children's TV presenter style Super Happy And Chirpy all the time!

I would ALWAYS recommend picking up a small child to ground them first, then listening and trying to engage. So many times I see parents trying to talk to small children who cannot focus on what they are trying to say.

libelulle · 20/12/2010 14:01

Ah great, as it happens that's on the wishlist too! DD has always been a shockingly easy and reasonable toddler (payback I like to think for being a sleepless colicky baby ), but in recent weeks she's been testing the boundaries like there's no tomorrow.

Original poster

APixieInMyTea · 20/12/2010 14:44

Unfortunately I didn't think much of "How to talk" which is a shame as it comes well recomended on here.

I gave it to the local sure start centre so hopefully it will be some use to someone else.

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homeboys · 20/12/2010 15:10

This reply has been deleted

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PrincessBoo · 20/12/2010 19:49

Great thread.

The hot spot with our nearly 3 year old son is teeth cleaning - he resists and resists. Can anyone help me with a playful approach to this? It's one of the things which gets me very and not feeling playful at all!

sethstarofbethlehemsmum · 20/12/2010 19:56

Topsy and Tim go the Dentist is a good book.

This probably isn't any use to you, but my 2 are in love with their lovely dentist and I frequently have to pretend to be her and either do their teeth for them or just check they haven't got any holes in and give them imaginary stickers! It gets a bit weird when they insist I be their dentist getting them ready for bed and reading them a story

we sometimes do the competition of whose teeth are the cleanest. If you have only one child you brush your own at the same time and then arbitrarily declare that they have won the competitition, of course.

SkyBluePearl · 20/12/2010 20:52

Princess we used to have a similar problem with face washing until we started asking son if he wanted a 'sloppy doggy lick' or a 'purring cat wash' with the flannel. Has to be done with correct animal sound effects in an animal licking type way and always end in hoots of laughter.

PrincessBoo · 20/12/2010 21:27

Nice one Seth star he likes competitions more than anything else in the world!

sethstarofbethlehemsmum · 21/12/2010 09:56

that's so cute SkyBluePearl!

PrincessBoo · 21/12/2010 15:26

This thread helped me today when I managed to distract his desire for sweets before lunch with a hige pretend sweet. he had two and then tottled off and left me to get on with making soup. Brilliant Adair

Adair · 21/12/2010 20:23

Ooh, so glad it worked for you!

Re teeth cleaning, if you do a search - lots of people have very playful suggestions. One I nicked from here was looking for diggers or monsters or fairies in their mouth. Or letting them clean your teeth. Or making funny faces in the mirror as you do it.

I have been rubbish today, tired and grumpy and not playful at all . And kids have really reflected it. Oops, here's to tomorrow...

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