London Mums, how do you juggle childcare, your job and commuting?

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DS is 6 months old and it looks like I am taking the full 12 months of maternity leave. We already have the nursery place for him sorted for when I am going back to work, so we should actually feel well organised and relaxed.
Instead, we are wondering how on earth we will be seeing and spending time with our little boy when I am going back to work!! My work hours are not really compatible with nursery hours and it will take me nearly 2 hours of commuting in total per day. DH's will take nearly 2.5 hours. I could probably squeeze an 80% role out of my employer but I am not sure how this will resolve the problem...
We have no family nearby so would have to rely on nursery, nanny or childminder..
It feels like somebody else will be bringing up our son!
London Mums, please tell me it can work! How do you do it, how much do you see your children and are you happy with it?

We have x2 small children ( one school age, one pre school) and both work 60+ hr weeks. To make this easier :

• we chose to stay living in zone 1. We rent a small 1 bed flat as anything else too expensive or moves out further. This means a short commute for us both (walkable if tubes strike etc)

• both work from home one day. Means we can choose what 12 hrs. Ie I work 5am-9am when children asleep ( helpful as can call diff time zones), 2-5 pm when nap, and quiet playing together, then 7pm onwards when dh returns. Dh does similar. Saves x2 days childcare.

• can take children into my office as my own company.

• we have a nanny 3 days. On these days dh works 9.30am-8pm in office, and I do 6am-6pm. So nanny needed 9ish hours instead of 12+

• both have jobs where can catch up in eve, or work from home if all goes pear shape ( child sick/ nanny sick/ etc)

• both sets of grandparents also help throughout year by taking for a week during school holidays/ nanny holidays.

Isn't one of the main issues with London that public transport is likely to figure more commonly in people's commutes. There's a far lower chance that you'll be stuck on a non-moving tube train anywhere else on your way to do pick-up

Second the taxi fund for mad dashes; one parent drops off, one picks up suggestion. It works but just. I'm more worried about the school years.

We moved out of london and ended up with a sahp with corresponding drop in quality of life... but we also coundnt maintain london living.

If you have enough money for a nanny, or the flexibility/seniority in work to choose hours/work hours opposite other parent etc it is doiable. Otherwise I think it is very tough.

It is interesting how many people mention gparents helping out. Sadly, not an option for us on either side. Anyone else in the same boat?

Oce - ours have children x2 weeks a year each as mentioned. But my parents live 4hr drive and dhs live 3hr flight, so the don't help/ or see them often in between

One set of ours is Down Under and offer to babysit for the eve one or two nights if visiting (we go to them or vice versa once a year but they have come all this way to see us or vice versa so more than that wouldnt feel right).

My parents are in the same country as us and have never offered to babysit even for an hour or two, which makes me feel sad, but is their right. ( DS is nearly 5) It puzzles the Down Under lot no end as they would LOVE to have their GC over to stay the night or even for a weekend. But hey, everyone is allowed to make their choices in life.

DH and I split it. As a general rule I do mornings and he does evenings although we try and be flexible and help each other out if one of us has to work late. DD is at nursery - not sure what we'll do when she starts school. Find a childminder, I suppose, or using after school clubs.

Both me & DH have always worked in London and committed together (we live in Sussex).

Pre-DD I planned to go back but once she arrived we sat down and realisled that realistically once I'd deducted travel and childcare from my (pretty decent!) pay I'd actually be losing money (I know some people prefer to refer to net household income but DH earns more than I do and the end result would have still been negative).

I applied from part time which predictably got turned down. When my I finished mat leave I had a rough month of adjusting to the fact I didn't have a job but overall I'm glad it happened. 12 hours of childcare earning little if any (or I'm my case loosing) money just didn't make sense. I guess it may be different if you have family near-by but we don't.

I now work free-lance from home (Im a PA) which works well...other friends have took evening jobs and are happy with it - hope that helps.

FWIW out of my baby friends there is now: 1 SAHM, 2 WAHM, 1 who is working her notice as wha had the same problem as me, 2 fh working (one with lots of family support the other with a great nursery - both are happy), 2 pt working (both enjoy there jobs but have had real bouts of being unhappy and preferring not to!). I think the grass is always greener at times - some tough days my demanding London job would be easier. That said the cliche is true - overall time goes go fast and I'm glad i've got to be here as much as I have!

Can you ride a bike? 5 mile commute by bike takes about half an hour - I put ds on the back and cycle 10 mins to nursery then 30 to work and then do the same in the evening - it's the fastest and most reliable way to get round london. You can get spare fitting for the bike so one of you can drop, leave the bike seat at nursery and the other can pick up. And you get to eat loads of cake for 'fuel' . I cycle at a medium pace so don't get sweaty and so just wear my work clothes as I don't have time to change. It'll also save you loads of money. Bit grim in the winter but then so is the tube!

Why not use the benefit of the sharing economy? If you have a spare room, you can have a student or a professional take you kids to school in the morning or do the pick up and help out with some chores for free. Have a look at www.roomforhelp.com/share-your-home

Not sure if it is an option for you but I changed work to a part time position near home. The days were just too long for childcare once the commute was factored in and I wouldn't have seen her on my working days other than to drop her off and bring her home and put to bed. Coupled with no financial benefit for me to continue working there and pay childcare, it was definitely the right decision. Its also not a popular view on here, but we decided it was better that just one of our careers took a temporary hit for childcare rather than both so the other can progress unhindered. I am fortunate that my career lends itself well to part time work and I can quite easily continue where I am at with no detrimental effects for a few years and then progress when I am able to put in the extra hours.

Colleagues at my old job in central London used to put their children in childcare near work rather than near home so their time in childcare was reduced. THis does depend on your commute though and how likely it is that you can fit a buggy on the train.

From my friends, where both parents have continued working full time, one of each couple has moved work to a position closer to home and do the pick ups and drop offs so the other can continue. The others have one parent working part time

Legally I believe you have to have a 20 minute lunch break for every 6 hours worked so you could talk to you employer about altering your hours slightly.

I was a single parent so would drop at 8am, work at 9am, finish at 5pm collect at 6pm and then bed at 7.30-8pm not ideal but it worked fine.

My brother and his wife had a rota so one drops mornings and one picks up in the evenings. This way, the person who isn't dropping at nursery can start work at 8am (with employer consent) and leave at 4pm meaning you have an extra hour with baby after work.

Either way, it will be fine. Millions do it every day. I personally would stick to nursery over childminder as I personally feel they are more reliable for working families.