Whilst pregnant
New potential supplier in meeting at work infront of 5 of my team: '...have you put on much weight? You look asthough you have or were you always that big?'
I'm a size 14 and put on 10lbs during entire pregnancy, needless to say the b!tch didn't get the contract.
With new baby (for info DD has a small birthmark on her right hand)
Old man in supermarket: '...what's that on her hand? Did she burn herself on the stove?'
Me: 'Yes I always let my 8 week old play on the hot stove, gotta start 'em young'
Woman doing a food demo in a up-market foodie place: 'Ah lovely baby. Is she hungry?
Me: No, no she's just had 10oz for her lunch!'
Woman: 'Look she's so hungry she's sucked her hand red raw!'
Me: 'No it's a birthmark' (turn on heel and walk off in disgust)
Feeding 5 week old DD a bottle of formula in TK Maxx to prevent her crying her eyes out.
Old man approaches; 'Is that breast milk?'
Me: 'No, formula'
Old man: 'My wife had 5 children and breastfed each one of them for the first year of their lives, so much better for them and cheaper than that stuff'
Me: Cry my eyes out for failing to suceed at breastfeeding despite trying and having counselling.
DD had crying fit for no apparent reason and had eventually calmed down but was bright red and always goes blotchy.
Random old woman in supermarket: 'Is she sunburnt? You really must cover them up at this age for goodness sake.'
Me: Too dumbfounded to even speak to made goldfish impressions with my mouth for a minute until DH came back with the ketchup.
Do I attract the nutjobs out there or what?! Had no idea my DD would be such public property!