Amazingly tactless things complete strangers say...

[HollyBollyBooBoo]

Whilst pregnant

New potential supplier in meeting at work infront of 5 of my team: '...have you put on much weight? You look asthough you have or were you always that big?'
I'm a size 14 and put on 10lbs during entire pregnancy, needless to say the b!tch didn't get the contract.

With new baby (for info DD has a small birthmark on her right hand)

Old man in supermarket: '...what's that on her hand? Did she burn herself on the stove?'
Me: 'Yes I always let my 8 week old play on the hot stove, gotta start 'em young'

Woman doing a food demo in a up-market foodie place: 'Ah lovely baby. Is she hungry?
Me: No, no she's just had 10oz for her lunch!'
Woman: 'Look she's so hungry she's sucked her hand red raw!'
Me: 'No it's a birthmark' (turn on heel and walk off in disgust)

Feeding 5 week old DD a bottle of formula in TK Maxx to prevent her crying her eyes out.
Old man approaches; 'Is that breast milk?'
Me: 'No, formula'
Old man: 'My wife had 5 children and breastfed each one of them for the first year of their lives, so much better for them and cheaper than that stuff'
Me: Cry my eyes out for failing to suceed at breastfeeding despite trying and having counselling.

DD had crying fit for no apparent reason and had eventually calmed down but was bright red and always goes blotchy.
Random old woman in supermarket: 'Is she sunburnt? You really must cover them up at this age for goodness sake.'
Me: Too dumbfounded to even speak to made goldfish impressions with my mouth for a minute until DH came back with the ketchup.

Do I attract the nutjobs out there or what?! Had no idea my DD would be such public property!

I was at the doctor's surgery to see hv, busy room etc and a three yr old stood in front of my daughter hopping from leg to leg saying funny looking baby and pointing. Her mum looked a wee bit embarrassed but did not stop her.seethe

At a recent 75th birthday party...

Old Lady: "When are you due?"
Me: "End of March"
Old Lady: "I think you'll have it before Christmas, you're very big"
Me: "Erm..."
Old Lady: "What will the age gap be between your two then"
Me: "4 and a half years"
Old Bag: "I had 4 years between mine and it was hell from day one of the 2nd one being born. They faught, and still do, all the time"
Me: , turn on my heel and walk off!

Couldn't believe it!!!

hollybolly, i used to do that:) people used to think i was a bit paranoid but i don;t care. you sit up all night with a virus ridden baby then, or one with skin rash or whatever! and not everyone washes their hands, esp toddlers who copy.. i do say please don't touch the baby, but people assume i don't mean them!

a woman came up to me with her two ds's and the boys made a grab for dd face, as she cringed back, i said nicely 'don't touch the baby, its ok to look..." and mum said 'no boys, its ok to touch her below the knees and her toes" cue 2 toddlers pinching at dd calves and shoes, her starting to scream. me ' its not ok actually, for them to pinch dd legs and toes, I would rather they didn;t" strange woman " yes it is ok!!"

There will be a 12 year gap between my son and my new baby when it comes. They have different dads, but the number of people who say 'Oh you left that a bit long didn't you?' Like for all they know I could have been having IVF for forever.

I agree with strangers not touching your kids face, I read a magazine article about a little girl who ended up brain damaged from fitting brought on by a cold sore virus she caught off a random touching her face.

out in the park with ds collecting conkers
old lady: "you'll be taking those home to your Daddy will you?"
me: "no, his father died when I was pregnant"
old lady "oh well you'll meet someone else. children need fathers you know."

I have another, but it's what they did . Ds was fast asleep on my back, I was walking about a museum. Lady walks by, stops and says something like 'oh isn't he sweet', reaches for his hand and tugs WTF. Ds wakes up . She just kept walking.

AnnOminous- I'm sure she meant that your baby looked funny haha rather than funny odd. 3 year olds usually do not have the level of judginess required to decide that someone looks funny odd.

I was in a shop with dds in double buggy with raincover on (it was pouring with rain outside) and an old lady looked at me aghast and said

'oh my goodness, are they ok in there? Can they breathe ok? Won't they suffocate with that over them?!'

me: 'umm...I'm pretty sure they'll be ok.'

old lady: 'isn't it dangerous having them in the buggy facing away from you? Anyone could kidnap them and you wouldn't see'

me: 'i think I'd notice if someone tried to steal them when they're strapped into a buggy that I'm no more than 6 inches from,'

old lady: well you can't be too careful

me: umm yeah, thanks

One of my pointless and tactless yet well-meant remarks came from a friend. My husband is English but quite sallow-skinned, meaning that he tans very easily. Three of our 4 children have inherited his skin tone. My friend would routinely remark through the summer every time I saw her, "My, that baby's getting darker and darker every time I see her!" and implying that I was failing adequately to protect her from burning (excusable background is that she works in cancer services and is married to a GP). I didn't have the heart or the inclination to point out that my daughter's face was exactly the same colour as her tummy, that had never seen sunshine in its little life.

DS(3.5) has a strawberry mark on his forehead.

Old bag and her husband in the Dr's surgery whilst DS was sitting on my knee:

Bag "You will be getting "that" removed won't you?"

Me "What?"

Bag "That thing on his head, he'll get bullied at school"

DS "That is my strawberry, I like it"

what a cow.

Recently abandoned by (now ex) husband for younger, perkier model, I politely refused chocolate biscuits for my 3 x DSs, all aged under 5 at the time, just 10 mins before lunch. Old biddy 'no wonder he left you'. Nice.

this, from a lady at the supermarket checkout, when my son was 16 months old in his buggy:

"I do think it' nice to have your family close together - when's it due?"

Wow, muscateer! Was she entirely devoid of all social graces?

When I told my Dad I was pregnant with my first:
Me: Great news Dad, I am pregnant!

Dad: That's lovely! Is X the father?

Me: Yes Dad, X is my husband after all!

Dad: ohh err well yes, now you say it...

I have cut myself off completely from my in-laws due to infuriating interfering and comments, the one that was my last straw and led me cutting contact, Dh takes the children to see them but I won't speak to them at all (there is far more to it then this comment but it was the point that I had just had enough!

This happened last January, we had been snowed into our village for a week but school had just re opened even though the roads and pavements where horrific, ice rinks and not gritted, I am on the phone to mil

Me: I had to dig out the off road pram out for ds when I heard dd's school was opening

Mil: You can't be using a pram!

Me: Well I would normally have him walking but it is so dangerous round the village, he is constantly wheezing with his asthma due to the cold and he is after all only 21 months old

Mil: That poor boy will never learn to walk

oops, just realised it was tactless strangers, it seems for me that family are far worse then any stranger, oh well at least I have escaped some of the horrors here! I think the worse one from a stranger for me what when I was almost 8 months pregnant, just a week before I gave birth I answered the front door to a cold caller, large bump coming round the door before me, he says 'Hi, is your Mum there?' I was 27 and while looked a bit younger, not that much younger!

I am 5 months pregnant and in Boots the other day, was trying to buy something for my sinuses - the assistant: 'Don't worry, you haven't got much longer to go' me: 'Erm, four months'.

Embarrassed looks all round!

Thisisyoursong I had lots of comments like that with DS2 as I was humongous! I convinced myself he was going to be early as I was tiny with ds1. Unfortunatly he was also 2 weeks late! The longest 2 weeks in my life! Has put me right off having any more!

Anyway back to the topic! Queing in the post office an elderly lady said to me "AH, How old is he?" "6 weeks" "Ah bless - that is why you look so tired"

And (very pale & pasty) SIL was told off by HV for not keeping her baby out of the sun - "sorry but my daughter's father happens to be Asian" HV still didn't apologise for her comment.

DS1 is on 98th percentile for height and 95th for weight. He's a stocky but very active lad.

HV and school nurse perfectly happy with him as he is in proportion.

Last time we were in USA a random stranger asked DH how old DS was, DH replied 3. To which random stranger commented "He's never missed a meal has he!"

DH was too stunned to respond but if I'd been there I think I would have put the bloke on his a**e.

3 days after having DS3 I ventured out to the shops with DH.
Got into lift followed by woman with toddler in pushchair.

"Look at the tiny baby darling"

Then said to me, "Mine were never that small they were 10lb born" in horrible bragging voice.

I looked at her as if she was demented and as she got out of the lift DH said very loudly "She must have a crotch like a bucket!"

Haribojoe oops hope that wasnt me!

My two were (still are) big babies, DS2 was 10 pound at birth, I always feel a bit cheated when I see tiny babies as DS2 was the size of a 3 month old at birth and never wore newborn clothes!

I see now that others may view my comments as being negative towards their smaller babies!

Oh dear - I am now officially one of those random strangers that say tactless things...

I was asked by an old lady in Sainsburys if my 15 month old was a boy. 'No, she's a girl' ,I said. 'Shame', she said, 'She looks like a boy'. She was dressed head to toe in pink at the time! I wanted the ground to swallow me up, she just trounced off! My daughter is now 14 and gorgeous!

I've had variations of this many times, as I have had three daughters who have all had severe speech delays:

'How old is she? Oh, three you say. She's not very good at talking is she? You know, my children all spoke young, but then I talked to them all the time.'

I mutter something about the speech delay being familial, but would love to reply, 'oh, gosh, thanks for sharing that with me. Maybe I shouldn't have locked them up in the cupboard under the stairs.'

soccer - don't feel bad, I wouldn't have minded quite so much if my baby was tiny but DS3 was 8lb 11oz, not a whopper I know but not exactly a lightweight!

Would also like to add how sick I am of strangers saying "never mind, maybe one day you'll have a girl" I LOVE havig three boys and did not have a third baby because I was desperate for a girl.

Linked to this I am also sick of people telling me what a waste it is that my boys have lovely long eyelashes because they are boys.

(takes deep breath) rant over

First trip out with dp and ds when he was a couple of weeks old.... (for info:dp is of mauritian origin and has brown skin....I'm white)

Stranger: Ah, isn't that baby cute
Me: Yes, he is (dp gives me little kiss and puts arm round me)
Stranger: Does he look like his dad?
Me: Yes, he does (looking fondly at dp)
Stranger: Where is he? At home?....cue scowl at dp...

DS's skin seems to get darker everyday and is beautiful...he suits really bright colours (orange/yellow/green) -cue the "isnt she gorgeous...." comments.... argh!!!

A regular one from total strangers:

-Is he your only one? followed up with Oh, well I always think that's a bit selfish, don't you? Don't you worry about him being an only one? Isn't he lonely? Ah, what a shame for him. Don't you think you should have another one, just for his sake? etc etc.

The fact that DS is an only one is not through my choice, but I don't see any reason to share any of that with random busybodies, and hence have to endure judginess on my selfishness, which really does hurt my feelings.

Duchess I could have coped with that but my daughter had a severe cleft lip and this was pre surgery - so yes to a toddler she did look 'funny' it was the unflustered mum who really annoyed me