August Babies

[Katherine]

Wills, Marina, Musica etc I miss us all chatting together. Time to pass on the mum2be moving on thread - so shall we start up again, and anyone else of course.

Still in cloud9 after last night. Poor DH had to spend the morning getting the holiday cottage ready and then I had to go and help him!!!!! But its OK because I feel great. Not even a little bit sore down there. Just these dratted afterpains to contend with - always think this bit is so unfair! You go through all that and get the reward of a lovely baby but the afterpains don't really give you anything do they. Oh well mustn't complain. MW said I'm back to a third already so thats why it hurts so much.

Wills how are those stitches doing? Hope you are not too uncomfy.

Well just changed 3 merconium nappies so no problems with Bea's bowels at all! And the cloth nappies are doing great - just ordered some more girly ones. Even my cloth sanpro is bearing up - much admired by the MWs.

Oh well better go and get the tea ready. Packed DH off to the park with the kids for half and hour for some peace and quiet so just been wallowing in a lovely bath. Time to return to domesticity now

marina, so glad to hear that positive tone in your post..all down to your beautiful dd by the sound of it
I'm back at work in just over a week - can't believe it so sympathise totally. x

Thanks for links Katherine. I am very interested as I have decided to become a "lollipop" lady! (nappies/childrens products not road crossing!)something I can do from home to add to the kitty. Do tell me how you get on with the wool. Those nappies are very funky!

Marina-LOL at armpit poop!

DD has started blowing rasberries now and at last we got a giggle. She beams at everyone and all say how gorgeous she is and I have to agree! started to wake at midnight again but goes straight back after feed so can't complain. sure it is another growth spurt she is now 15lb 6oz! (14wks)

Marina, I never made it into work! I'd just about decided that ds' nappies were too disgusting (they don't let them go if it looks like they might have an upset tummy), but then I woke up on the morning it was to have been, and was really really sick. My mother says it was psychosomatic - well it may well have been, but I felt truely awful! So will give it another go next week!

KMS - I think dd is having a growth spurt as well - she's started being more demanding in the evenings again, and she woke up at 4 last night to be fed, which is REALLY unusual!

Katherine - ((hugs)) for feeling unloved. I know how you feel a bit - I reckon dh gets PND - he was quite down after the birth of both our children, so I've felt quite alone and unloved - hope this improves! Remember, you're our official 'supermum'!!!

Parents are great aren't they Marina! I got the 'Of course you won't be having any more babies now, will you?' ??????????? And whereas with ds (who was an incredibly easy baby who slept through the night at 5 weeks and was totally happy and placed) they said 'he cries a lot', with dd (who is equally placid ) they said 'she's very quiet isn't she.' So I have a spoiled brat and a mental retard!

Oh god - I'm so far behind. dh will chase me off the computer in a mo and into bed so I've not read through but will try tomorrow. Its just that I want to sing from the highest rafters - do you remember my dh having big second thoughts about us having another baby half way through dd2's pregnancy. I've been worried that he was still harbouring those sort of thougts well... I've just caught him rocking her to sleep whilst singing Elton John's "Your song" - the song with the words "I hope you don't mind, that I've put down in wordssss, how wonderful life is now that you're in my world" - bought tears to my eyes.

Promise to read up and join back in but am working hard at trying to set up a business so that I don't need to go back to work - will tell you more.

Sending everyone loads of hugs and love

Wills
xxx

Hi Wills. I run a business from home too. Its pretty tough, either work suffers cos I'm busy with the kids or I feel guilty that I'm ignoring them. However it has meant that I get to be at home and althogh I don't make a fortune its nice to be able to contribute a bit at least. If you want to chat about anything feel free to get me email through tech and contact me directly. I never feel comfy talking about my work on here in case its seen as advertising myself. Hope it all goes well for you.

Good luck with your new line of work, Wills - keep us posted if you can. I really hope it works out for you.
I'm not having a good week . Went to see dd's nursery yesterday, purely social, and suddenly what had seemed really well-run, good OFSTED, low staff-turnover and happy little faces everywhere, transformed itself into a bleak, noisy baby farm. This was in my eyes, of course...it's still a very good nursery with very nice staff. But after we had a chat about dd's settling-in programme I came home and cried all over her little fuzzy head. HOW I WISH I did not have to return to work in January. For the next few years I don't even have the option of cutting my hours from full to part-time...have to keep reminding myself that at least it's a nice, low-stress job with lovely colleagues and that in fact I am jolly lucky really. And as my mother has an unerring knack of knowing when to kick when her children are down I got a phone call in which she felt compelled to tell me that ds is "very naughty" at the moment and "needs a firm hand in a velvet glove". She pointed out that during our recent visit, dh frequently "did nothing to punish him when he was cheeky". Ds really is being naughty on occasions at the moment and we are finding him heavy going, that's true. But she clearly thinks we are applauding and throwing roses when he plays up at bath-time etc. And how I wish I had the nerve to tell her that dh finds her so overbearing and ill-tempered that he spends any visit half-frozen with terror, as well he might. I was apparently "very good" when I was little (or so she told ds during one of her tirades), possibly because unlike my own child I was sh*t-scared of my mother.

Hi all.DS teacher had asked me to bath DD2 in front of the class tomorrow as they are doing a book on how babies grow! Feel v. nervous at the thought of an audience even though they are only 5yr olds!

Still squabbling with DH but things are a bit better and I've even had a few cuddles lately.

However work crisis seems to go from bad to worse, DS's fav chicken died on me and now my washing machine is bust and won't be fixed until next Friday. Not much fun when using cloth nappies. Aghhhhhh.

DD2 is now 10lb 11 and so smiley and happy now. she had her 2nd jabs today but just went to sleep and is still happy. Started bathing her in the big bath with the other 2 now as she was getting to big for the sink and kept banging her head. The other two absolutly love it and so does DD2. Decided to teach her how to blow raspberries and she actually copied me. They are so amazing!

Hope everyone else is surviving OK. I keep checking for new messages and no-one ever posts - then realised that included me so thought I'd update everyone. Bye for now.

Hi everyone.
Katherine, glad to hear things are better between you and dh. It's so hard to work on your relationship when you're running round after a little one and your other children isn't it?

Wills, that sounds so lovely, it brought tears to my eyes. Dh doesn't get much time with ds2, he's too busy working. I wish he did, he was made redundant shortly after ds1 was born, which was hell at the time, but he looks back now and is so glad to have been able to spend so much time with him while he was so little.

Marina, don't worry about the nursery, I worked in nurseries for years pre-ds2, and although the one I worked for (for 6 years) was a fantastic one, with a waiting list a year or more long, we had our mad times in the day where all the babies wanted something at the same time and it was bedlam! It can be like that at home at times can't it, just on a smaller scale!
If it was always happy, smiling faces and calm, you'd need to worry then, as they'd probably be putting on a show for parents. The best nurseries have 'open-door' policies, so you know you can pop up unannounced any time, and see both sides, mad times and calm.

Musica, ds2 had started to sleep through for the last 10 days, and he's woke at 4am the last couple of nights, you've just made me realise it could be a growth spurt, as he is 12 weeks today. Thanks for the ray of hope, had thought he was going backwards re sleep again!

DS2 started giggling at 8 weeks, couldn't believe it as I'm sure ds1 was at least 3 months old. We get real belly laughs now! He's turning into the image of his big brother in looks and personality, so chilled, he'll sit happily in his bouncer for ages while I play with ds1 or get on with jobs, of course he gets loads of cuddles too!He's got his second jabs next week

Snap, Katherine - I keep checking too and then realising if I haven't posted much then why should anyone else! Sorry to hear about your chicken and your washing machine and hope the demo goes well. Dd is bracing herself against the end of the baby bath now she is taller and nearly shot through dh's hands the other night, I trust your dd will be better behaved! She sounds like she is doing well weight-wise.
Elena, thanks for those very wise and kind words, much appreciated. I am lucky to have access to a good nursery and it does come highly recommended locally. I was feeling mega-sorry for myself that day! Glad to hear your little man is coming on so well, dd is also an "easy" companion who will sit and watch me cook or read to ds.
And she is just such hilarious and good company at the moment. At bath-time she shimmies around the bed in anticipation, yelping with pleasure. She is also knocking seven bells out of her baby gym and trying very hard to grab her feet or roll over. Although she still won't sleep much during the day she now has a settled evening and night routine, which makes life a bit easier.
Ds is still being quite a pickle but got a glowing write-up at his first parents' evening at school. We were surprised to read in his exercise book that we had all spent the previous weekend on our speedboat...

Hi Again (this is a record - my website is offline so I can't work, been going mad all day )

Marina I totally understand how you feel about nursery. When I read your post I tried to imagine leaving DD and it would be horrible. But you do need to look for the positive in the nursery, otherwise you will end up miserable. Your DD will not mind at all and just think how much you will treasure the weekends when the rest of us are winging and moaning.

Bath-time went really well, DD is a performer, smiling at all the children and making them all go gooey. We then had a long line of children waiting for cuddles. Certainly scored a few brownie points with teacher.

Elena I hadn't thought about the extra night feeds being a growth spurt. Maybe there is hope then....

Hello - me guilty too! Kept hoping this thread would appear in the active conversations but didn't actually post!

Marina - I know so much how you feel - I made it into work last week - it's just for one day in the week, but I felt really horrible leaving my wee dd - she is too small! She's older than ds was when he started nursery, but somehow I wasn't so upset about him.

Anyway, they ran out of EBM halfway through the day so I had to sneak back to deliver some more milk and have a cuddle! It wasn't so bad this week, and ds is glad to be back at nursery.

I've had a bit of a manic week - dh has been ill and so has been in bed all weekend, and we had his family staying, so I've been rushing round like a mad thing trying to make meals etc. He's better now, but I am exhausted! Ds has now got the same thing, and was up all last night and the night before. Thank goodness dd sleeps!

Do any of the rest of you worry irrationally about the babes? I keep thinking dd is so good, she must be mentally retarded or something - she really is a little angel - just sits and watches, and smiles. She is starting to reach out for things (if they're really waved in her face) but she hasn't found her feet yet I don't think, and she doesn't grasp things, which I'm sure ds was doing at 3 months. Please tell me I'm being paranoid. She does make good eye contact and is very quick to smile - she just hardly cries. I also feel that I don't give her enough stimulation - I'm sure with ds I was building towers for him to knock down and reading all day long. But I probably wasn't because I do remember feeling guilty that I wasn't stimulating him more.

Well, hope you're all doing well, xxx

I'll keep this short because at this precise moment not all is well. My main feeding breast has engorged and blocked and I'm seriously concerned that this is spelling the end to my bf which is crap as the thrush is almost gone. Have been advised to have a large glass of wine and a very hot bath (amongst many other things) so am now feeling decidely sloshed and am about to get into the bath. Glad to hear everyone has similar worries to mine. At this point dd1 was rolling over but dd2 is pretty much content to gently reach out to her baby gym characters and chat away to them. Dd1 didn't bother with chatting she wanted up and about so possibly this is a good characteristic in dd2 (). As for the business I'm in the process of buying another house (don't groan). I'm sick to death of watching others make a hash of it and have decided to have a go at property development. I suspect I will still need to return to work for a year but hopefully I can keep it to only year and of course defer it until I've had my fully year's maternity leave. Wish me luck because I so desperately want to play a larger role in my daughters's lives.

Is anyone else having problems with weight gain? DD2 is now on the 1st percentile and whilst she looks very very healthy, the hv now wants me to attend fortnightly health checks to keep an eye on her. At 3 months she weighed on 9lbs 14 ozs. I'm trying not to worry because she looks healthy but it would be nice to know that others are having similar experiences. Anyway bath calls. Take care everyone.

Ouch, Wills, you POOR thing. I saw the thread but could not think of any good advice on top of Mears' tips and others. I just really hope it unblocks itself, you've had such a rubbish time. Dd is sliding merrily down the centile charts too, but like your little one, is bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and squirting yellow stuff out of her hindquarters on a regular basis, so I am singing with my fingers in my ears and dodging the baby clinic for now. Good luck with your property plans, keep us posted. Alas, there is little money to be had in offering to sort out people's bookcases...
Musica, fear not. Every day I look at my perfect, happy babe, and think, why is she not crosser/more assertive/more shouty...is there something up? Fortunately for me, the feeling passes quickly because maybe they are both just second children who are used to the household carrying on regardless around them and there is much more to see and enjoy than their mother's anxious face (which must have obscured ds' world vision for months). Dd is much more chatty than ds was at this age and I think that is because there is another child around. She huffs and puffs with huge glee when he comes home from school, it's so sweet to see them together.
I hope your dh gets better - there's a lot of male flu around it seems to me!

3 times in one night!

Muscia - DD2 is 13 wks today. She held a toy for the first time yesterday - before that she would hold your hand but nothing else. She's been staring at her hands all day too but no concept of feet. If I lay her on the floor she's just starting to roll but not quite over yet although she has started to wriggle round, head first IYKWIM. Not that I'm implying my daughter is the benchmark for these things but thought it might make you feel better.

Wills if you feel that DD2 is growing then don't worry. My DD2 was weighed yesterday for the first time since the MW discharged us and only then because I was curious that she was outgrowing everything. Shes only got 3 dots on her chart but they follow a perfect curve. HV still fusses a bit though as its only the 9th percentile. As long as she seems healthy and you can see that she is growing I don't think you should worry too much. Endless check-ups will probably just stress you out more.

Sorry to hear everyone is poorly though. My lot have just had the tummy thing but all well again now. Why is it men are always convinced they have it so much worse?

Hi again. Dd isn't particularly chatty, but it does sound like she's similar to yours Katherine. Wills, I'm so sorry you're having this problem. Would Savoy cabbage leaves help?
Dd isn't staying on her curve at all, but as she was over 10 lb at birth I'm quite glad. She seems to be settling on the 25th centile, just as ds did. Marina, thank you for your reassurance - I'm sure you're right!

This is just a quicky before going to bed, but thought I would share the sweetest thing with you. Ds is 2 and 5 months, and today he said his first 'original' sentence (i.e. one he has entirely constructed himself). Dh has been poorly, and this evening he came in and ds said 'Daddy feel better'. Dh was well touched!

Musica, how sweet, bless him. I remember ds' first sentence very well and the huge feeling of pride it gave us. It's a real magic moment!

just a quicky as it is sooooo late. my DS2 came up with a lovely thing that made me chuckle:
" mummy is it november or yesvember!"

How is everyone? I guess we are all busy mums now. are your babes still waking at night? people keep asking "is she going through yet?" which she isn't, but i didn't expect her to. she sleeps 7pm till 12ish then quick feed and back to sleep till 4ish, quick feed back to sleep till 7am. last night she only woke at 3 then 6.30 which was nice! just wondered if I should be expecting more? I am not bothered by the night feeds just curious what is going on with you guys. can't belive she is 17wks now. has anyone started weening? I am aiming for 6mths but will take each week as it comes.

Wills- hows it going? hope the hv isn't stressing you too much. hows the house coming on. we have finally finished renovating this house after a year of living in a building site! the plan wasn't to have a baby as well! but we get it valued next week to see how much our efforts are worth.

Hi KMS. dd2 was going through the night for a week or so but unfortunately has just started to wake again which is pretty much what dd1 did so I'm not surprised. The house is coming on brilliantly - both of them. I've almost finished the one we're living in. The hall is the last room to be done and also the hardest work. In the last couple of weeks I've sanded plaster, hung wall paper, painted wallpaper, cut, sanded, stained and varnished skirting board and today I've been sanding, staining and varnishing the new front door. The place is really starting to come together and I'm very proud - shame we're going away really. I'm off to Florida for christmas and as I'm traveling with my dm and my step father I'm dreading it. We're back on the 29th so thought it worth going to get a christmas tree today. dd1 thought the whole experience was wonderful. Whilst the thought of going on holiday is good the fact that its with my mother, stepfather and brother and his family (mum doesn't like brother's wife) is filling me with dread. This will also be my first christmas away from England and I'm not sure I wanted to be (sort of bullied into this holiday). Oh well fully paid and committed now so simply need to make the best of it.

If you've read my other threads you'll probably know that dd2 is not putting weight on very well. Somedays I'm fine with this, others I'm filled with guilt that in some ways I'm not providing for her needs.

dd1 is just starting to show jealously towards dd2 so we're trying to lavish her with attention but we don't really seem to be getting anywhere. She still appears to adore dd2 but I daren't turn my back for a second. Two days ago according to dd1 (when asked why dd2 was crying) dd2 had "bumped" her head. Oh well.

As for the house that we're buying things are progressing reasonably. Fingers crossed it all goes well and we exchange before we fly.

Thrush is unfortunately still present so I'm having to give up bread, wine and vinegar altogether in an attempt to shift it. To be honest I've almost got used to it now!

How is everyone else????

Wills - is the thrush still there ?????? Has it ever gone?

Yup the thrush is still there although I pleased to say its almost gone. I've received a lot of help but if I'd have known at the beginning that I would still have had it at 3.5 months I think I would have given up the bfing straight away. I engorge 2 or 3 times a week and I suspect its the thrush, I'm putting on so much cream that it doesn't really surprise me that ducts keep getting blocked. Thankfully I've hired a fantastic pump from my bfing councellor. Honestly at the end of this I'm seriously tempted to train as a bf councellor myself. Hope this doesn't depress anyone who has been recently diagnosed with thrush though .

KMS - sorry forgot to say - do let me know how you get on with the valuation. Are you having the house valued purely to see how you've done or are you considering moving? We are almost complete with this house and its taken us 3 years longer than we originally thought. I always thought I'd have it done before the end of my maternity leave, I just didn't realise it would be the end of my second maternity leave . Will you move on to another? Personally I don't want to live in it any longer! Most of the effort is in the preparation and clearing up. Trying to fit things in around a toddler and make the house safe for her is a nightmare and has ended up with us doing things late at night or at weekends when she goes to my mother. I don't want to do that again.

Marina - my heart goes out to you, although I suspect that I will be joining you at work soon. I've not thought about nurseries etc - basically because I'm running away from the whole issue. Dh and I had a massive row about money this morning. He's watching every single penny I spend and this alone will be enough to send me out to work. I can't stand his attitude when I'm not working. Because normally I'm the main bread winner he normally leaves me alone and just sits there wincing occassionally however now that I'm not really earning he's permanently criticising what I'm spending. ITs DRIVING ME NUTS!!!! Oh well, I could go on but I'm not going to.

Take care everyone.

wills- sorry to hear about the thrush. is it just causing you to become engorged/blocked ducts? I was getting engorged frequently and have now had that fixed by a great woman at the john radcliff in oxford. where are you in the country?

We moved into this house in october 2002 and it was all in 1960 original state. we have gutted it and added an en-suite so everything is new. we didn't plan on having a baby in the midst of it all but it would have been worse with a crawler or toddler. my 5 & 3 yr olds have been really good about the lack of flooring and always wearing shoes. although the marks on the newly papered and painted walls are a bit of a pain! but finally after just over a year we hope to sell and get another. I wish we didn't have to live in it as well. We have contemplated a static caravan in the garden for the next one, if it is as bad as this. Just missed out on the one I was after as we weren't quite ready. I'm sure something will come up soon. but i have actually enjoyed it.

Both DS's are attention seaking too. DS1 did when DS2 came along and HV pointed out that it was because he was used to too much constant attention and it would be good for him to learn to wait his turn and do some things for himself, and play alone without my help. It worked great but took me a while to stop feeling guilty. it is now DS2 that is going to have to learn. I do try to spend more "quality" (i hate that phrase) time with him when dd is asleep.
sorry for such a long ramble!
I'm not good at finding other threads. What is the one you were talking about?

wills- forgot to say I hope you get to have lots of time with dd2 on holiday as dd1 will have lots of rellies to lavish attention on her! And hope you have a great time. My familly are a nightmare! sis hasn't spoken to DM for 2 years!

Hi everyone

Wills, you truly are Superboobs!
KMS, I'm going to do the same with ds2, try and get as near as we can to 6 months before weaning.

Ds2 is doing really well, he weighs 15.1 lb's now! He usually goes through the night from about 9pm till 6/7am, which is brill.
He had his second lot of jabs on Thurs, and was a bit off the day after, but he's fine now.
Ds1 has finally settled in his 'big boy's bed' as well, although we still have trouble settling for a nap in the day, and he gets up earlier in the morning.
Been feeling really miserable of late and like I am doing a crap job with the boys, so my sister's MIL (funny I know, but we are quite close!) persuaded me to go to the Doc's. Apparently I have PND, which DH has suspected and suggested for a while now, but I have bitten his head off every time he has mentioned it.
Doc has referred me for counselling as I didn't want to go down the AD route.
Also my sister, her dh and her MIL had the boys this weekend so we could get away for a break, and we have had a lovely time.

Horrible bad news on Saturday, my Grandma (Dad's mum) collapsed while her and my Grandad were on a day out for his birthday at the seaside, and she's died. I wasn't very close to her but my dad is devastated and it is just a really upsetting time. Feel a bit numb at the moment.

Oh elena2 I'm so sorry. You sound like you're having a tough time there - sending you loads of hugs {{{{}}}}. If its any help I had PND after dd1 and both dh and I were nervous that I was going to get it again. Whats helped this time round is lowering my expectations of myself and making sure I had plenty of help allowing me to get much needed sleep. The first time round the PND went undiagnosed until dd1 was 2. It was only when I realised that I was planning to seriously run away from people that I loved that I finally seeked help. I went onto anti-depressants and was made to seek out a consellor. The two together worked brilliantly. I still see my consellor occassionally for moments when I feel particularly blue and she's extremely helpful and practical. She doesn't sit there and simply listen she gave me good advice on how to change things in my life that made me unhappy. At the same time the drugs helped to lift the blackness that I often felt. Its ok not to go onto ADs but I think there is an enormous taboo about them and I wanted to tell you that they helped me enormously and that I had absolutely no problems giving them up when I was ready (after about 5 months). The main problem if you choose this route as well is that there is a wide variety and you have to find the one that helps you. Some may make you feel worse, some may do nothing and this period whilst you find the right ones and the right strength may well take a while. I saw it as getting my family back i.e. enjoying my family, so I kept going. I think the hardest part is admitting that something is wrong and you've done that. Feel free to email me off line if you want to talk more. XXXX

KATHERINE - HELP - my nappies (dd2 that is ) have arrived but they leak!!!!! Need some help getting my head around them. Even though only 3 have arrived so far already I can see I've made a mistake! I bought 1 coloured one and of course that has to be washed seperately to the rest. I've bought an easypeasy and it is fleecy - does this mean I don't need liners???