Fucking inept mother

[SpawnChorus]

That's me, that is.

Today I have shouted A LOT to make them get ready in the morning.

DS2 (15 months) has had no fewer than five, yes FIVE "serious" tumbles, culminating in a bloody lip. He literally will NOT stop climbing and unless I'm following him around during every waking moment he will find something to sodding fall off.

The two older DCs refused to eat any of their supper...again. As they do any night that I don't make beans or scrambled eggs on toast.

Fuck sake.

Sounds like a normal day around here.

I've been a mother for nearly six years now. WHY can I still not keep them from repeatedly injuring and starving themselves???

glass of wine?

Feeling so bad about DS2 and vaguely worried that five head bonks will end up with some sort of cumulative concussion.

YEs. I need wine. Back in a minute.

lol at MD

toddlers have indestructible Teflon heads - fact.

did you ever stop to think that maybe it's them that's inept nto you?

no, seriously, it isn't you. kids are just like that!

I spent yesterday feeling shit about shouting and wondering if other mums float round in a state of zen like calm. Especially after my Mum gave me a lecture about damaging relationships by shoutig. dont think she has a right to preach as she used to shout a lot, and give thrashings with a piece of wood! Youve made me feel much better!

you are not alone, you have just described my house at least three days a week!!!!!!!!!!! doesn't it seem like all the bad days pile up like the m6 at rush hour, tomorrow will be better. as for dc, well make em a sandwich, you can make it just as healthy as a cooked meal, it takes ten mins flat and if they won't eat at meal time hey ho, tell them that they can have it later or go without sounds harsh but it works here in casa madhouse everytime, my two older ds try it every now and again, it works everytime, as for the climbing, mine still do it and they're five and four (of course the 4 yr old learned this sport from big bro so was a competent climber much earlier)am waiting for ds3 (8wks) to join the fun. put em to bed have a cup or glass of whatever helps, chalk it up to experience and begin the battle again tomorrow, YOU ARE NOT INEPT, ITS JUST VERY FEW PEOPLE ADMITT TO A BAD DAY CHIN UP CHIC

Flagon Glass of wine is clutched in my sweaty hand.

Am roffling heartily at your replies. Thanks :)

I'm particularly sniggering (slightly hysterically) at the tree bit and at them being inept.

Can I join the FIM club?

DD's will never eat an evening meal that I have done any more than take out of its wrapper and bung in the oven.

So tonight DD2 makes her way to the dinner table while I was wrestling negotiating with DD1 to actually get her to the table. I felt confident that DD2 would refuse my home-made lamb tagine, so thought no more of it.

Cue screaming and crying form the dining room. DD2 has got her hands on the little bowl of chilli that I had chopped for DH and merrily tucked in .

After lots of milk and ice cubes, she was fine, but she still didn't eat any of the lamb tagine (can't imagine why)!

Gosh you are inept!

My children are nothing like that!

Sorry, for a moment there I found myself in a parallel universe.

Your life could be mine!!

Yeah, fucking inept, you can't possibly be tying those knots tight enough.....

I told my dd1 to SHUT UP earlier when she kept wittering on about umizoomi.
She cried
I felt bad.

Adn then did it again 5 minutes later when she started up again.

and I changed the time on the clock in their bedroom so I could put them to bed after bath and drying hair at 6 as they were up at half 5 and are knackered and whiney but can still tell 7pm from 6pm.

I hereby claim your award.

Just stumbled on this thread- How funny

Oh, I had pasta planned for tea but DD's both started fighting and whinging as soona s we got home so I made them scrambled eggs on toast instead. It may not be nutritious but at least I dont get the fucking whining

I gave DD a pot noodle and bid her rehydrate it. I offered her extra soy sauce, though.

try cable ties as you don't need to be good at knots...

today i have
1 shouted at dd for leaving stuff in the car all the bloody time and for extra effect i did it in front of her friends

2 allowed ds1 to eat a chupa chup, packet of smarties, morrisons banana sweeties, morrisons sausage roll AND chips 'n' froot shoot

3 dripped up ds2 so he smacked his head on the kitchen floor - because obviously he can't bugger over enough by himself, he needs mummy's help.

4 slagged dh off really badly to my sister

5 shut the dog's tail in the boot and didn't say sorry, in fact said oh for fucksake it's your own fault

6 fed them all included the much maligned dh hot dogs for supper - with white plastic rolls. didn't even chop up a cucumber

does this make you feel just a bit better?

could relate yesterday's gems if you need more examples of total and utter ineptitude

My toddler son fell on stone steps and put a HUGE egg on his forehead, so we took him to A&E. Wearing a t shirt that said, "they're not my parents, we met on Facebook." Pure class, I tell you.

Also, I didn't know you could tear pull-ups till someone told me on MN. The amount of poo I smeared down his legs trying to get them off him before then....

I only have one. I dread to think how I'd manage more.