Fucking inept mother

[SpawnChorus]

That's me, that is.

Today I have shouted A LOT to make them get ready in the morning.

DS2 (15 months) has had no fewer than five, yes FIVE "serious" tumbles, culminating in a bloody lip. He literally will NOT stop climbing and unless I'm following him around during every waking moment he will find something to sodding fall off.

The two older DCs refused to eat any of their supper...again. As they do any night that I don't make beans or scrambled eggs on toast.

Fuck sake.

You're not inept unless "other" mothers are able to control gravity.

Have had another read of this...You lot are so funny. Thanks for cheering me up yesterday :)

MD - extra-lol at the bonobos

You're not alone. We all have shouty days. I think kids play up to a stressed parent.
No advice, just wanted you to know you're not alone!

Sounds about right here too.

DD is a climber and when she is not climbing she is pulling everything out of the cupboards or screaming in frustration because I stopped her climbing or cupboard dwelling.

Don't get me started on cooking meals.

Days like that happen.

Yesterday I threw DD's riding boots into a bush in the garden because I was fed up of tripping over them in the doorway. Then I forgot I'd done it and shouted at her for wearing her school shoes to play in the mudfest we call a garden

And I forgot to feed the dog and only remembered when I found the skanking bugger poor thing with his head in the compost bin eating mouldy rice.

At least your children will eat sodding scrambled egg. I can't even get my DS to eat that!

you've all cheered me up too

I got my two writing lines yesterday

that's the level of desperation I've reached that it's the ONLY thing I haven't tried

I did get an hour of peace and relative quiet whilst they did them

I feel REALLY strict now though

This thread is so funny! I want more! I wish people were more honest like this in RL!

I am currently hiding from my two even though this is only my second full day with them this week! Haven't a clue what they're doing just need to be not with them!

Love the parents quote from The Middle on Sky "We're not bad parents, we've just got crappy kids".

You've made me feel so much better.
Stuck intoday with DS1 3yrs and DS2 22mths.

Cue yells of
'no pushing-
don't sit on him-
don't eat that-
leave the cat alone-
get off the table-
don't sit on his head'

I feel like the worse mother on earth.

DS2 just fell off the coffee table for the 4th time.
They just don't listen and are fed up of being in for 2 weeks cos of runny tummies.

I am counting the minutes until DH comes home and I can hand them over with "here are your progeny, good luck"

ha ha loving this.

can i join? i have shouted at ds for being slow walking to nursery this morning, let him have a richT biscuit instead of fruit after lunch and he is currently plonked in front of bbc iplayer while i MN for half an hour because i can't face the landslide of washing up in the kitchen that i should have tackled this morning. (but was too busy phoning all my chums for a chat)

hey ho this is why i love MNet!

Since I had my 3rd child, I remember the days that I didn't shout at my children, I can probably count those days on one hand. My 3rd child is 5 months old...

My 3rd is a cranky baby, he is crying now whilst my other two are taking about 3 hours to finish their dinner. I am on my 2nd glass of wine and on Mumsnet ignoring it all.

Who is the fucking inept mother on this thread, I ask you?!?

Another vote for normal here. Keep flying the flag, your doing alright, our kid.

I need to join too.

I want dh to come home now and for me to go to bed.

I can't be arsed to cook and it is bloody freezing.

This thread appears to be my spiritual home.

14mo dd2 has been to a&e twice in the last month, once after jumping off a chair in the garden and landing head first on the patio (egg on forehead leaving a small flat bit which the gp tells me could well be permanent) and once because i took my eye off her for long enough for her to find one of those gel washing tab thingies and eat it (copious throwing up and chest xray required )

I won't begin to list the near misses

But I will whisper about shouting at dd1 when she didn't shut the baby gate properly and dd2 promptly scampered up the stairs. Because of course 6 year olds should be responsible for the safety of their baby sisters.

I am utterly utterly shit at this parenting lark.

Did you know that whilst Ariel Actilift isn't actually toxic, if it is regurgitated it can foam up and then be inhaled. Hence the chest xray. I didn't know that until quite recently myself.

Reminds me of the time my son, aged about1 8 months used a little building brick to enable him to climbe on top of a stairgate which separated our kitchen from dining area and fell off and got a very bruised and battered nose. I THINK the Doctor believed me. My FIL was more hesitant thought!!!

Heh I am an inept mother most mornings but I think anyone with 3 children 6 and under will struggle to get them to school on time in total zen calm.

Every morning where I end up shouting and threatening to take various toys and privileges from my children just to get them to dress and brush their teeth and get out the fecking door without the constant whining, fighting and tale telling... I promise myself that tomorrow I will be calm and positive and ignore the behaviour I don't like etc... But tomorrow never comes

This morning I did manage to distract dd from crying all the way to school by talking about a book she wanted to take in. This evening we had no tantrums on the way home cos I promised dd I would get the moon sand out, also promised homemade choccy biccys and and helped ds make a junk model of the millennium falcon! Where's my medal??!! plus tomorrow dh does the school run, hooray

baskingseals, you rock!

Shouted at DS to eat something this evening while he was picking at his dinner when the entire contents of his dinner, lunch and breakfast came flowing forth. Cue very guilty mother trying to mop him down while DD (5 months) screamed the house down.

Ds was irrational and shouty when coming home from school today, I tried to be nice and calm but he continued to shout at me so I screamed (literally) at the top of my voice "don't you shout that is so rude". Thankfully we were in the car, I shouted so loudly my throat hurt for quite some time.

Can't think where he's got his shoutiness from...

lmao

my ds, 4, poked me up the arse with a drum stick /(musical variety not chicken) then told me to apologise as "that hurt me, too"

Magic! Ha ha!