I am such an awful mummy. Where to start
I have DS1 who is nearly 3 and DS2 who is 18 mths old. I am also pregnant 7 weeks with number 3 who was planned but now I am very very anxious about how I will cope and my mum is really rubbing this issue in with me - asking me to consider termination and saying I have made a big mistake blah blah
DS2 gets up really early - this am 5am. Anyway he has always been a difficult clingy child and spends a lot of the day whinging and whining and over reacting to his brother who is sometimes a bit mean to him. Well this morning he has really pushed me to the limit with his whinging and whining at me so i put him in the hallway and then just because i was so made gave him a little push and he fell over. This is awful awful awful - I have shouted STOP IT in his face recently too. I think i partly over-react to his behaviour as the whinging is so relentless wherever we are - park, playgroup he is whining at me making tea, going for a wee - i feel sick and a wretching a lot too with him whining beside me, and partly because he fuels my anxiety about a 3rd child that he is not ready and is going to be difficult. When DS1 was 18mths, DS2 was a month old - no way could i survive a newborn now Don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart and soul and he can be such a delight and is copying new words everyday. I love him dearly but he is so demanding - this doesn't excuse any of my terrible behaviout
Anyway I deserve all the awful things that are going to happen to me if i push and shout at an 18 month old - such a cow.