What do you think causes fussy eating?

[rabbitclog]

This is a genuine question. I don't know the answer and my opinion is only based on my experiences.

My 3 dcs all went through the "normal" fussy phase as toddlers, when they only wanted to eat about 6 different foods. It was really annoying to be putting meals in the bin all the time but we consistently kept offering all the different foods and eventually they have come out of it and now all eat pretty well.

While my own dcs were not fussy in an extreme way, I've read threads on here and seen some friends in RL struggling with extreme fussy eaters. I think most of them would say that this is just the way they are, could be genetic sensitive palate etc...would you agree? Although I found that being quite strict and consistent about meals with my own dcs did work in the long run, I know this is only my own experience and I would not judge someone else's situation.

However....

We do not live in UK and I currently volunteer in an orphanage. The many toddlers in there are spoon-fed the same food day in day out (a sort of mushed casserole of meat, veg and crumbled bread). They just eat. All of it. It must be so boring for them but they eat because they are hungry. There isn't a hint of fussy eating, and not even the typical spoon-grabbing or head-turning thing that all my dcs did.

Surely if fussy eaters were born that way we would see at least a bit of it in there?

I'm not sure you could fairly draw conclusions from comparing toddlers raised in typical family homes with toddlers in an orphanage, I would expect a degree of institutionalisation, for want of a better word.

It's an interesting question though. I was a dreadfully fussy eater as a child and although I've improved a lot, I still probably dislike more foods than the average person.

I can't really explain it in my case, but I have always been amazed by people who can manage to eat food they don't like out of politeness. I just can't imagine being able to eat a plate of, say, fish pie, no matter how hungry I was. I just physically can't seem to swallow food I don't like the taste of.

My DC are fussy eaters and its all my fault. I freely admit it. Do I wish I'd done things differently when they were small? Definitely. But having been fussy myself (still am to a certain extent), it was an easy trap to fall into.

I was, and to a certain extent, am still a fussy eater. Not my mum's fault. And not my fault either. There are just certain foods (tastes and especially textures) that I cannot eat. Example, DH was sat eating a grapefruit. I asked to try it but I couldn't stand the taste. It made my mouth react and hurt my stomach.

Yesterday I was at a friend's house for lunch. I managed to eat most of what she gave us but could not eat the salad as she'd put vinegar on it and I just can't stand vinegar. I tried and tried (mixing it in my mouth with other food) but I hated it. DH stepped in and finished it off for me

I therefore conclude that my reaction (mouth and stomach) to certain foods is not the same as DH's. So I'm labelled as "fussy". Which I think is unfair but that's a whole other thread

Interesting....

I know it's not a fair comparison between families and orphanage situation, it was just what made me wonder about this in the first place.

Geocentric that's interesting that you were fussy as a child and you feel you "passed this on" as it were. I will eat pretty much anything and always have done - I wonder if therefore I expect my dcs to the same and "push" them more to eat things they don't like? They still have preferences obviously but they will not eat, for example, veg which they didn't used to eat, I think by trying it over and over.

Maybe in the orphanage it's something to do with no parents projecting any of their own issues?

I meant they will eat veg they didn't used to....aargh

I think there's probably not one reason - some people just don't like certain foods or are very sensitive to certain flavours and textures BUT I am quite certain you can make your children fussy, accidentally.

My SILs children eat about three things each and that's with her nagging bribing and cajoling. Mealtimes sometimes end in tears. I have to say whenever I've had them, they eat bugger all for me too. But I don't nag etc and so avoid the tears.

But then I think some children you couldn't make fussy. I guess it all depends on the child.

To add another spanner into the mix, I don't think it's the way you are brought up. At least not every time. I was incredibly fussy as a child, my brother was not. Only 2 years difference between us and we were definately brought up in the same way.

Many other mnetters have had the experience of one child who will eat anything and another who is fussy.

I'm one who has one eater and one with a very limited diet. They just have extremely different attitudes to things like food.

DS (non-eater) has never been interested in what is on other people's plates. He loves cooking but not tasting what we make. He does like to smell things but doesn't like to touch them or put them in his mouth. Food just isn't something that even interests him that much. He would happily live on protein shakes or something like that just to get his daily calories rather than actually enjoying the sensation of eating.

DD is completely different. If it's on someone else's plate then she wants to try it. When we cook she'll taste the ingredients, mixture and final product. She is very happy to get down and dirty with anything and will taste pretty much anything. She is interested in food and enjoys it.

So although I have 'indulged' DS's food preferences to a certain extent he just has a completely different attitude to food. Neither DH or I are in any way fussy or picky about food so I don't think it is us projecting issues onto DS. We have a wide variety of foods in the house (most of which DD will eat) and DS is given different foods to try along with the ones I'll know he'll eat. DS does have a few other sensory issues (sound especially) so maybe that is the underlying problem. Who knows. What I know is that I'm not going to make food a battleground.

You know every thread on this subject making this point is started by a parent who has no fussy eaters. It's as if you want a virtual pat on the back for your amazing parenting skills.

Anyhow as far as I'm concerned it's personality/genes that makes some children fussier however how it's handled I think can have some effect to what degree.

I have 2 amazing eaters(cabbage,olives,snails all would troffed down)anything and everything.I also have 1 fussy eater.

Interestingly the fussy eater is a non identical twin and there is only a year between the twins and dd. Basically they've all had and been treated exactly the same foodwise. I never serve up alternatives or force feed.

My fussy eater is quite sensitive and a bit of a control freak ie he's easily suspicious of foods and doesn't like strong tastes.He has a healthy and varied diet but he's extremely fussy and never willingly tries new things.

My son would suit orphanage food big time as there is nothing new and scary,it's always the same/safe. That's the whole point so no it would be highly unlikely to witness a fussy eater in this setting and some people just aren't foodies.It's not a big deal in most cases.I refuse to worry about it.I serve what I serve,if he eats it great if he doesn't he goes hungry.No fuss no bother on either side and it's just the way he is. Nobody has 'caused' it.

I was a fussy eater. Certain foods made me heave. I couldn't sit next to someone who'd been eating garlic or spicy foods for years. My mum was very strict and consistent - made no odds. I was able to hide food quite easily so that she didn't know.

some children / adults are supertasters and find quite ordinary stuff unpalatable

my brother ate everything and anything up to the age of around 2. then subsisted on about 7 basic items, including dry cereal , cucumber and breaded chicken. me, my twin, mum & dad all eat the same and have always had a varied diet. not sure why he changed. at around age 11 /12 , he started to gradually eat more varied foods and started to increase what he had. as an adult, he eats everything.

we were all raised the same, and no exceptions made , but once he'd decided , he ate the same diet for years.

lots of people eat a narrow range of foods day to day

i imagine other 'fussiness' is to do with ASD/ADD/Autistic spectrum issues to do with texture and smell and taste and cannot simply be defined as fussy

I don't think you can compare.
The children in the orphanage have that food, and only that food.
There'll be nothing else, ever.

Our children have other food, unless locked up at home with no TV, they'll know that other food exists.

Sure, I do think some parents are softer than I'd be, but then perhaps I didn't need to be hard?

I do wonder over things like, 'well sometimes he likes X and sometimes he doesn't', and I think', he likes X, stop pandering'

DD is not keen on beans.

Last week I made her a meal with them in, she had a moan, I told her they were part of the meal, she could leave them if she wanted, but moaning isn't an option and neither is anything else to eat if you didn't finish your meal.
She finished the meal.

Too many kids, including mine if I let her, think they should only eat things they love.

DH is an incredibly fussy eater (think Freaky Eaters style). He spent a lot of time in hospital as a child which apparently is linked to selective eating disorder. This of course is on the extreme end of the scale but I am sure general fussiness has a background to it. No idea what though sorry.

But then if you suddenly offered one of the orphans steak pie do you think they would turn it down(provided they are not starving) because they are used to the same food day in, day out?

If they did refuse it, would that make them fussy?

We expect children to eat such a huge variety of foods in the UK that it is not surprising some personalities find it difficult yo negotiate.

i think not being starving hungry does mean that kids can afford to be fussy - which is i think what you are getting at.

it was interested watching a history programme about pudding to note that they gave puddings as seconds (though, a lardy jam
roly-poly pudding which wasn't as sweet as a modern one) in order to get the kids to eat more - as they were being over-fed in school to compensate for homes which under-fed them.

if you aren't going to starve them outright, then they might be fussy.

I haven't enjoyed DDs fussy phase, but now it is over, i can (briefly) enjoy throwng whatever at the DCs (hastily touches wood in case DCs hear me and decide I have spoken too soon). I think reduction of attention, reducing portions to match appetite, and not offering other choices all help to keep them non-fussy, though of course....it's never as simple as it writes.

I wonder if some children have been made more fussy due to the style of weaning? If we were to compare children who had been weaned via the bland early foods/pureed/textureless method and the Baby-Led method we would notice a difference?

As a childminder I have encountered my fair share of children with 'fussy' or 'faddy' eating and these children have more often than not been weaned the puree route. That's not to say a BLW child will eat anything and everything. They just seem to be more adventurous and accepting of new foods/tastes/textures.

Maybe it starts earier than this. If we were to compare a BF to a FF baby, would the fact that a BF having experienced a variety of tastes through its mothers milk be more accepting of food with flavour when it came to be weaned? Formula doesn't change in taste from feed to feed, week to week, month to month so maybe this sets the tone for fussiness?

I do think that some children are naturally fussier than others. But I think the way parents react can also affect fussiness.

For example, if you have two siblings, and one is fussy, one not, then if the parents oander to the fussy one it's likely they will end up very fussy. If they don't pander, the fussy one may be less fussy than if they pandered, but would probably never eat the same range of foods as the non fussy one. If that makes sense.

Don't agree with the breastmilk thing.

Dp's family are full of incredibly fussy eaters,his sister is uber fussy to this day. They were all breast fed for a looooong time.

In my family ff was more prevalent,don't know anybody fussy to be frank,we're all real foodies.

I was a fussy eater, and my sisters are not.

My fussiness is due to three things

1. Slight autistic tendancies, certain things had to be in a certain order, food could not touch each other, only certain colours could be with certain things.

2. Undiagnosed health problem (aged 19 discovered I had a grapefruit sized cyst on my fallopian tube, that had been a substantial size most likely since I was in the womb according to doctors)

3. Hyperactive tendancies - therefore couldn't be persuaded to sit down and eat.

4. Baby of the family - therefore allowed to get away with things that older siblings couldn't.

By the time I was 8 I weighed 2 and a half stone, and was under the doctor supervision due to this.

And maths isn't my strong point - I made 4 things!!!

Every time I see a fussy eater thread on here, every time, it's always, 'he used to like, or, she sometimes likes, or, if the mood is right she eats.....

They like or they don't.

I'd never make my DD eat anything she really hated, and I never have, but that's real hates.
I don't let her fanny on on with it, because that's just a passing request for me to be a canteen, and never going to happen.

OK, these are very random and unconnected thoughts and observations ...

In my teens, I lived for a while in a self-sufficient community where the kids ate hearty portions of whatever they were given at every meal. They had a very varied diet but there was hardly ever any "afters" and no eating between meals. The kids spent most of their time playing out of doors, so were usually properly hungry by mealtimes.

I have heard there are sometimes genetic differences which can make certain foods taste really strong, especially dark green veg such as broccoli (sp?) and brussels sprouts.

When I left home and started shopping for myself, I was amazed at the number of foods I had never tried because my mum had never bought them because she didn't like them. Perhaps if the parents have a fairly restricted diet and the child only likes a subset of those foods, it can look like fussiness - there may be loads of foods that the kid would like but is never offered until they start making food choices outside the home.

My DCs were suspicious of "hidden" foods - didn't like stuff that was all runny and cooked together so they couldn't see what was in it. I used to make them up plates of little piles of separate ingredients so they were having the same as us but they could get used to each foodstuff on its own, with a small dollop of the cooked-together stuff on the side for if they were feeling adventurous.

I think to some extent the dynamic in the home between the parents if there are two there, or between whatever adults there are there can play into it.

When my DCs were young I had exH to contend with, and he played the role of heckler and underminer of me in our home. They just imitated exH's attitude to me in general in one of the only ways they could, by being incredibly fussy about food I prepared. Or maybe they thought opposing me in this way would put them in exH's good books?

I didn't make an issue out of it for fear of provoking angry scenes at the table by exH, so kept on reducing the variety of meals I made to accommodate the dwindling preferences of the DCs.

My DS age 9 is an extremely fussy eater.
As a baby and toddler he had an excellent diet would eat the same as I did plenty of fruit and vegetables. I thought I had done a good job.

At the age of 6 he contracted chicken pocks for the second time and was very ill for weeks and would not eat.

I let him eat anything he wanted and this was only a few things, he has never gone back to eating as he did before he was ill.

I myself was a fussy eater, this was about control. My DF would make me eat everything I hated and I had to sit at the table until I did. I never gave in. The arguments about food made my life a misery.

I know that my desire not to be like my parents has impaired my ability to deal with my DSs limited diet.