What do you think causes fussy eating?

[rabbitclog]

This is a genuine question. I don't know the answer and my opinion is only based on my experiences.

My 3 dcs all went through the "normal" fussy phase as toddlers, when they only wanted to eat about 6 different foods. It was really annoying to be putting meals in the bin all the time but we consistently kept offering all the different foods and eventually they have come out of it and now all eat pretty well.

While my own dcs were not fussy in an extreme way, I've read threads on here and seen some friends in RL struggling with extreme fussy eaters. I think most of them would say that this is just the way they are, could be genetic sensitive palate etc...would you agree? Although I found that being quite strict and consistent about meals with my own dcs did work in the long run, I know this is only my own experience and I would not judge someone else's situation.

However....

We do not live in UK and I currently volunteer in an orphanage. The many toddlers in there are spoon-fed the same food day in day out (a sort of mushed casserole of meat, veg and crumbled bread). They just eat. All of it. It must be so boring for them but they eat because they are hungry. There isn't a hint of fussy eating, and not even the typical spoon-grabbing or head-turning thing that all my dcs did.

Surely if fussy eaters were born that way we would see at least a bit of it in there?

I really have no idea. It is probably due partly to personality and partly to the way the fussiness is handled by parents and carers.

There is only one thing I'm uncomfortable with, and that is the notion of "kids food", just plain, bland and boring food. Or over fried. Why?

Sorry, DS was breastfed by a Mum who ate a wide variety of foods and then we did BLW.

I agree with SoMuchToBits, I think that some people are just naturally fussier than others. You can work on it to some extent but they are never going to have the same attitude to food that a natural foodie will.

I was very fussy as a child. My mum didn't pander to it at all.

I think it was because I had a very small appetite and I didn't mind being hungry. I would rather go hungry than eat something I didn't like and often did.

I also had (and still have) an incredibly sweet tooth, which I think is genetic as my dad is the same.

DD is no way as fussy as I was thank god.

I was a fussy eater. I couldn't bear food with onion in amongst other things. I could tell if there was even the tiniest bit of onion in something.

As I got older my sense of taste has got less sensitive and I eat most things. I still balk at bananas, red meat and will pick out large bits of onion but otherwise i eat anything now. Although I don't have the sweet tooth I did as a child.

DS is quite fussy but I just make sure he gets something from all the food groups (even if it means he eats the same food at every meal time) and know he'll grow out of it like DH and I did. I also leave quite long gaps between meals as I find he eats better when he's hungry.

I really do sympathise with those who have fussy eaters. It makes you feel very inadequate because it's a very primal urge to want to feed one's DC.

I don't think it's to do with baby-led weaning. Dd1 was weaned the old fashioned traditional way with purees and is one of the best eaters I know. She is willing to try anything.

Dd2 weaned the same way and is fairly fussy.

The main difference (except I obviously had more time to cook/feed dd1) is that I got pregnant and spent most of my first pregnancy overseas, while I was in the UK for my second, so my diet was different. Maybe it's something to do with what we eat in pregnancy?

(actually tbh I think it's just something that is. My nephew won't eat any fruit or veg at all and he was raised the same way as his normally eating sister)

plentyofpockets - I actually started a thread about my hatred of coriandar a while ago and was amazed by how many people agreed. It is one of those very strong tastes - to me it is offensive in the extreme, to others it's just like any other herb. Perhaps some "fussy" eaters taste more foods like this, but grow out of most of them? Maybe coriander, for whatever reason, stayed nasty to me?

Forgot to mention DS was blw'd.

I really think many children have an overly sensitive sense of taste and are programed to like bland & sweet food.

DS was also bf & has formula. Breast milk, like formula is incredibly sweet but it's not sweetened in the same way as formula which I think makes DS's fussiness worse.

But most days formula is the only dairy he'll eat. I don't stress about it though if he ever went off formula I'd be stuck. He won't drink cow's milk. Not sweet enough

Marchpane! DD1 can't stand onion at first I used to almost liquidise it to add to foods, but she knew it was there ans would spend hours picking out every tiny little piece of suspected onion. Then I decided to just chop one in two if making a stew or whatever, and let her pick out the bits. She used to complain that certain foods a lot of foods actually -- were 'bitter' and I have since learned that this is something inborn. Two and a half years in university have turned her into an omnivore though.

Wow, went away to sort dcs out when there were only 9 messages....

I tried to word my OP as carefully as I could so as not to sound like I was congratulating myself. I actually said I thought some people are just not into food but being at the orphanage made me question that.

I think the question of the same food every day at the orphanage is really interesting, and whether the toddlers would actually not like the food to change. Unfortunately I don't think they would let me try that one out.

One thing I will very tentatively observe (bit nervous now) is that some of my friends who pander to the food whims (not talking about extreme cases, just kids being kids really) tend to pander in all areas, in which case that's not really a food issue I would say, rather a general wishy-washy parenting thing. In my opinion.

I am a very non-fussy eater. My dad was quite strict when it came to food- we ate healthy stuff- veg, fish, etc and very little rubbish. We didn't have crisps, chocolate, even squash, in the house growing up. My mum used to make her own 'lemonade'- which was basically water and lemon juice with so little sugar in that you couldn't taste it. It was rank. The motto was 'like it or lump it' and you were strongly encouraged to eat all your dinner. Needless to say we all eat anything now.

I try to be very laissez faire with my young DCs, but I'm not as strict as my dad was. They have alot more treats but get offered lots of fruit and veg too. My toddler has gone through fussy non-hungry phases and I think the best approach is to try not to make a fuss.

My DP is stupidly fussy, and I can honestly say he has been pandered to. He won't eat veg or fruit. Pretty much he will just eat meat and potato and rubbish. When you go to MIL's her cupboards are full of chocolate and crisps and fizzy pop.

I think everything in moderation and don't make too much fuss but try not to pander too much.

Oh and I tried with my PFB to introduce him to as many different types of veg before he reached 1, as possible. I had read somewhere that if you do this they will be less fussy. Not sure if it's true but he does, usually, like his veg.

I don't routinely do dessert either- never really understood that so I never had the problem of DC refusing dinner and waiting for dessert. I did, however, offer too much milk when DS1 hadn't eaten much and he is still milk obsessed at almost 3. I have only just wenaed him off bottles during the night

I went away last night and really thought about what everyone has said. Might be hormones but maybe just a parenting wobble. It did keep me awake last night. So do I think I'm just a wishy-washy parent pandering to DS? No, but I do try to listen to him.

Rabbitclog why bother asking the question if you've already decided that your friends are just pandering and being wishy-washy? I'm very glad that your DC's eat well and don't have any food issues but some children and adults do. They aren't trying to be annoying. They aren't just being fussy. They just have a different relationship with food than others. And to make a comparison with children in an orphanage is rubbish for reasons other posters have explained.

DH and I have made a concious decision not to make food a battleground in our house. We try to listen to our children rather than forcing them to eat foods that they don't like. That doesn't mean only giving them foods they love, and they are expected to be polite about refusing, but they are allowed to have likes and dislikes. As a parent/adult you have a lot of say in what you eat. If you don't like it you just don't buy it or cook it. Children don't have that. The food is plonked in front of them and they are expected to chow down. Just because a parent likes something doesn't mean a child will. I take into account what DH likes to eat, just as I take into account what DS and DD eat - it's just a bit harder with DS.

But being fussy with food is not an exuse for being rude. There are ways to say no. Yes it is hard when we go to friends for meals but that is because DS doesn't eat the food rather than he is rude about it. I don't see how other children's food preferences affect anyone apart from them and their families.

Also, there is a world of difference between a child who eats a limited but basically decent diet and one who eats rubbish all the time. There is far too much emphasis on children eating everything that Tesco provides. As long as they have a basically balanced diet then fine. If they are only eating from the crisps and sweets aisle then even I'll put my judgeypants on!

Camdancer -- words of wisdom there. The only one of mine who eats everything I serve (except rice and fish) is the only one who I would call a people-pleaser in any way, and I worry more about her than about the others for that reason.

WRT orphanage children -- I know several girls who were adopted from China and Vietnam, and the split between hearty eaters and balkers is about even among them, several years later. I assume all were subjected to the kind of pablum-in-a-bottle or spoonfed mush diet before they were adopted.

Candancer you have misunderstood me. I said several times that I think some people are just more fussy than others for whatever reason. My comment about what I observed about wishy-washy parenting is not only to do with food, but their tendency to let their dcs be in charge in all areas extends to what they eat too. Surely you can see how that's different from a real food issue.

As another poster said earlier (can't remember who ) some children aren't hungry/don't like food in general. I can remember wishing someone would invent a pill that I could swallow instead of having to eat. I got very little pleasure from eating. I didn't even like junk food.

One of my pet hates that I still hate is mushrooms. My mum tried to cut them so small I wouldn't notice, but I'd still sit and pick them out before starting to eat. So she gave up and chopped them bigger - thus making it easier for me to pick them out. But I would eat all the other vegetables in the casserole so it wasn't like I was being difficult about vegetables in general, just mushrooms.

How can you tell what is a real food issue and what is children being allowed their preferences?

Can you taste/see/hear/ exactly the same as others can? Every person's sensory experience is completely different. Studies on 'bitterness' and ability of tasters to perceive it And then there are supertasters and non-tasters.

Mine all object to veggies as being 'bitter' no matter how I gussy them up with cheese sauce, balsamic vinegar dressings, chopped, toasted nuts, etc., etc.

Out of my siblings and I, my brother and I have always eaten basically anything. My sister was incredibly fussy as a child and has only recently, as an adult, started eating a broader diet. All weaned and fed the same way.

Out of my DC, DS1 is pretty fussy (was incredibly so as a young toddler), DS2 will eat absolutely anything. Both BF well past a year, neither ate much in the way of purees.

Smugness about good eaters imo ranks alongside smugness about good sleepers. You are only one child away from finding out perhaps your perfect parenting has not much to do with it.

I have one non fussy eater and two chicken-nugget nightmares.

Ironically the non fussy eater has severe food allergies to egg, milk and nuts. The other two had to be treated as if they were allergic to egg, milk and nuts until it was proved at a year old that they were not. At a year old, neither would touch milk or anything they had been not allowed before. DD (now 8) was the worst as I didn't offer her milk, cheese or even chocolate at a year old as DS1 was only 2.5 and he could have got hold of it. So she was only offered dairy from the age of about four. She still won't eat normal pizza, it has to be homemade with DS1's gak dairy-free cheese and she wouldn't eat chocolate or ice cream till she was about six. DS2 is the same and will not touch yogurt, milk, cheese or ice cream - he is now 3.

I do think that their fussiness is not totally due to that year's ban though. I think the fussiness was always there but was exacerbated by it.

However I would like to point out that though I say that DS1 is not fussy, actually he is. He complains if he has to have chicken nuggets and chips too often, won't eat his packed lunch as he "hates sandwiches" and also says he only likes hot food - double . The thing is that because he likes home cooked food and lots of veg I say he isn't fussy. In reality he has a set of likes and dislikes as strong as the other two, but his likes are healthier and more acceptable.

Sigh. I really thought mine would be good eaters. I love food (too much!) and have really wide and varied tastes.

I bf all 3, and never restricted my diet.

I cooked for dd1 and dd2, then did BLW with ds, making sure they were exposed to a wide range of foods/ tastes/ textures. THey were ALL good eaters until they were about 1yo. Basically at about the time they learned to speak, they learned to turn down food they had always previously eaten.

I doggedly continue to make varied meals- I vary the meat, the carbs, the veg, the textures. They do eat some of it, but most of the time I can tell they don't really want to . dd1 hates all veg (when she was a baby she ate every type under the sun). dd2 will eat veg but is almost phobic about fruit- she won't be in the room with ds if he is eating a banana (she had fruit every day as a baby). She dislikes anything with "a sauce". Ds eats fruit and some veg, but not keen on meat.

Every mealtime is a battle, and I have tried not to rise. I really can't see what I could have done differently. I really don't think I am a "wishy washy" parent in other departments- I'm pretty strict about a lot of things. I would LOVE my children to love trying new things. I involve them in the cooking and praise them for trying new things. I am enthusiastic about the food we eat- I do love cooking and am keen to try new recipes, but they want the same old, same old. I am really hoping they will grow out of it eventually. Cos I feel like that guy who spent his life pushing a boulder up a hill.

But joolyjoolyjoo, that's exactly what I was trying to say - then it is surely just about the food, i.e. there's nothing much you can do about it. I made a distinction between that and people who could be more consistent in general and therefore about eating.

My DSIL, for example, gives in and lets her dcs eat too many junky snacks close to mealtimes, then they won't eat their meals. She gives into them about loads of other things too because she doesn't want to hear them whine and cry. I have seen them eat up their meals fine at my house for example when I refuse them crisps 30mins before dinner. The food thing is just another fight she can't be bothered to have, and not really a food issue as such.

Individual taste.

Rabbitclog

I find this thread very interesting. I ate anything apart from hot milk and rice pudding [boak] and my brother was very, very fussy. He had and still has awful eczema because I think he has never eaten fruit or vegetables. Maybe not, but I think Vitamin C and sunshine can help the condition.

Please correct me if I am wrong.

I have also been fortunate enough to have travelled widely and at leisure in my life. One particular memory sticks out.

I was on the Laos/Chinese border and was trying to find anywhere to eat. Picture open sewers and flies.

I walked into a small cafe and several rats ran out but it was the only place I could find.

I ordered a meal and heard a rush of water from a downpipe - some noodles had been washed down the sink and into the drain. There were several small children - aged between three and six competing with the rats to grab the noodles that were being flushed away.

I still have to turn away when I hear a child screaming for sweets in a supermarket.

That day broke my heart - I bought them food and I give to charities such as Save the Children and Oxfam. It is a drop in the ocean.

A childs' palate is very sensitive, that I understand. Hunger is something very, very different.

I think alot of food is an acquired taste in time as one gets older.My nephew was a really fussy eater and now at the age of 11 he eats most things given to him, which still surprises me after the difficult time my big sis had with him!

SUncottage_ I agree hunger is very different.

I sometimes wonder if children's palates are finely tuned for mild food intolerances.

DS1 eats anything and always has done. DS2 has been fussy from the start. He absolutely refuses to eat any dairy, no custard, cheese, yogurts, or even butter on bread. He suffers from eczema, and dairy is often implicated for that condition. DS2's definitely gets worse when I smuggle milk into his food (into pancakes for example)

Children who are staving or know categorically that there will be nothing else would have stronger survival instincts than those my DS2 might (or might not) have to avoid eczema