What do you think causes fussy eating?

[rabbitclog]

This is a genuine question. I don't know the answer and my opinion is only based on my experiences.

My 3 dcs all went through the "normal" fussy phase as toddlers, when they only wanted to eat about 6 different foods. It was really annoying to be putting meals in the bin all the time but we consistently kept offering all the different foods and eventually they have come out of it and now all eat pretty well.

While my own dcs were not fussy in an extreme way, I've read threads on here and seen some friends in RL struggling with extreme fussy eaters. I think most of them would say that this is just the way they are, could be genetic sensitive palate etc...would you agree? Although I found that being quite strict and consistent about meals with my own dcs did work in the long run, I know this is only my own experience and I would not judge someone else's situation.

However....

We do not live in UK and I currently volunteer in an orphanage. The many toddlers in there are spoon-fed the same food day in day out (a sort of mushed casserole of meat, veg and crumbled bread). They just eat. All of it. It must be so boring for them but they eat because they are hungry. There isn't a hint of fussy eating, and not even the typical spoon-grabbing or head-turning thing that all my dcs did.

Surely if fussy eaters were born that way we would see at least a bit of it in there?

My kids are given their tea and no other food option. My children eat what we adults eat. If they don't eat that's thier choice -I don't force them. If they do eat their tea I give them a yogurt - but i don't hold it up as a reward for finishing.

I think fussy eaters are usually given too much choice and the parents have a underlying worry that thier kids will starve if they don't eat. In reality no child ever starved themselves. Some parents also allow their children to use food as part of a power game - so the kids often seem like fussy eaters. Some children have poor diets and live off fish fingers, oven chips and sausages - they don't get the exposure to normal non processed food and struggle when they try it.

Interestingly skybluepearl where we live there is no processed food, you just can't buy things like sausages and pizza so my dcs never have it. I can make chicken nuggets from chicken breast but that's as close as they get day to day. The weird thing is when we go home on holiday and eat out, they love eating all the crap kids meals with all the mystery meat etc. So there's obviously something inherently appealing about that kind of food because my dcs don't just love it because it's what they are used to getting - they only eat it probably once a year.

SkyBluePearl: "In reality no child ever starved themselves."

Yeah, that's what my HV told me. Trouble is, I couldn't quite believe her because my sister was hospitalised with anorexia at 11.

rabbitclog: "... there's obviously something inherently appealing about that kind of food ..."

I'm not sure it's processed food per se, but I have read that we are hard-wired to love sweet, fatty and salty foods and processed foods do tend to contain a lot of fat, salt and sugar. These food preferences would have made a lot more sense in hunter-gatherer days.

"no child ever starved themselves"

No but my DD2 would subsist on a quarter of a cheese sandwich three times a day interspersed with the odd apple if I let her.

And she is very small for her age (4)do I am not willing to test this any further.

Yes children will starve themselves, they are - and if it doesn't kill them they will do serious damage to themselves.

I speak as an adult that has no enamel on my teeth, poor menstrual problems, poor bone density.

All caused by the diet of potatoes, bread and sweetcorn, that I had, due to refusing to eat anything else. Leading to a weight of 2.5 stone at 8.

Hmmm. My mum was a control freak who constantly fussed and phaffed and prodded my plate - eat a bit of this, a bit of that. I used to not eat on purpose as a child. Spent my 20's on the edge of an eating disorder.

I never, ever fussed over my dc and food or pressured. If they wanted it they could have it,if not not a problem. They both eat like pigs although like different things.

Don't know the answer but I do know that children will use eating as a weapon. I don't know if I was lucky with mine or because I was sensible they were sensible.

Nowadays happily fat (well a good size 12 and top of BMI) and 50

I'm going to go against the grain here.

I was an incrdibly fussy eater as a child. And my mum did pander to it. Big time. To the point of making lots of different meals if I didn't like the one she made. I also remember her giving me chocolate biscuits for breakfast

But now as an adult I'm a real foodie. I like most things, I'm excited by cooking, eating in new resaurants, different cuisines, the lot. I don't know if this is to do with my mum's extremely laid-back attitude or not...but I do know that I tried things when I was READY.

Among the non-fussy eater children there seems to be mostly a 'only one meal, there's nothing else, no nonsense' sort of approach. Great as it may be now, I do wonder about the long-term implications. I mean, food is a pleasure to be enjoyed. Not endured. I would hate to look back on my own childhood remembering really not enjoying the food. And people's tastes do change. Even as adults sometimes there are times when you just don't 'fancy' something you would normally eat. So would you make yourself eat it? I wouldn't. Why should children be any different?

I think a child can be on the 96th or 0.4 percentile and be prefetly healthy. My youngest is just off the bottom of the percentile chart but has a healthy attitude to food and eats well. I don't think my children have to 'endure' my cooking Dancer girl, I cook quite nice things but just not the usual sausages and chips. We have quite a relaxed attitude to food but at the same time can't afford to waste food. We have a limited food budget.

Obviously some older children and teenagers are anorexic - stemming from deep running psycological problems but that is one huge step away from a typical two year old just being a normal picky eater.

leoniedelt I agree with skybluepearl that going from 98th to 2nd centile is not necessarily a problem. My ds did exactly the same - he was on 91st at birth but 2nd by his first birthday. He also used to vomit a lot but it stopped around his 2nd birthday. He's now 7 and has been consistently around 9th centile for years now. He's just a small person, and it was his birth weight that was out of line, iyswim. Having said that we did worry about his weight when he was little, and possibly made a bit of a song and dance about his eating, but now I really wish we hadn't.

Dancergirl I think you may have a point, but I could never see this happening (in my house) from a practical point of view. I only have time to cook one meal for everyone, they can take it or leave it. I do bear in mind some food preferences (I have one who doesn't like cheese, for example, but will eat it melted or mixed into things) but I'm not pandering to what I see as "whims", e.g. not having any bolognese sauce on the pasta etc. I see that as just part of life - I tell them that when they are grown up and have their own house they can decide what to have for dinner. I let them choose what we have on special occasions, birthdays etc, and we eat out probably once a week and then they can obviously choose whatever they want. It's not too bad for them really, I don't think. I certainly wouldn't say they are enduring my cooking.