Please define Attachment Parenting to me?

[shimmerysilversparkler]

I think I am one but I certainly haven't read up about it or anything so would like to know more.

What are your opinions and thoughts please?

babywearing
co-sleeping
extended breastfeeding
baby led weaning

In fact most things Baby Led I think?

To be honest from what I have read on AP forums many of the children have sleep problems.i.e fed/rocked to sleep for a long long time.I'm sure not all are like that as the people who have children that do sleep really well don't need to post!

some people would say 'hippy' parenting.

I would say "Only really possible with DC1 and goes out the window with DC2"

it's what it sounds like... basically being attached to your baby 24/7 pretty much
carrying baby in a sling, co-sleeping that sort of thing

Yes, I did all this, not extended B/F with ds though, no support but did with dd after discovering MN!

"Hippy Parenting" um yes, I have been described this way by more uncharitable members of my family .

you can attachment parent without breastfeeding or BLW or any of that stuff tho
the theory of attachment is just that and you can have your baby attached to you while you go out clubbing all night and feed it bottles of coke if you want! lol

i think it's just that a lot of people who like the idea of attachment parenting also are the kind who will do things in a baby led way anyway and will tend to breastfeed and BLW and do EC and stuff like that too

but not all do!

and what one person classes as a sleep "problem" others may just see as a child's natural progress....?

In other words becoming a complete slave to your child and giving up any thought of time for yourself, your husand or other member of your family.

Baby Rules OK.

I wouldn't call myself an attachment parent, but I bf/carry/co-sleep with my baby and don't feel like a slave to him or that I have no time for myself or my partner

It isn't about being a slave to your baby as much as accepting thT little babies need a high level of in put and being willing to give them what they need in the early days without trying to force separation on them. So you breastfeed until the baby is ready to wean, you co-sleep because you understand the need of an infant to be close to it's parents at night, you baby wear because the human infant is born 'prematurely' when compared to other mammals etc. None of this should be done to the detriment if your own sanity or other relationships in the family.

IMHO it is just about being sensitive to your baby's needs.

I

well said mummyberry!

what MummyBerryJuice said!

I have the AP book and it also makes clear it's not all all-or-nothing approach, you don't HAVE to wear your baby in a sling all day long to be an AP, for example.

I think I've kind of become one more with DD2 because that's what she needs - she BFs whenever she likes, I wear her in a sling a lot because it makes things easier with having a toddler and we co-sleep as she wakes up a lot and it makes life easier!

I bought the AP book when I was pregnant with DD1 intending to be an earth mother, and she ended up preferring routine, her cot, and her playmat much more than any of my hippy ideas

Yup, agree with MummyBerryJuice...

We didn't BF in the end, and we don't co-sleep. But I imagine if I did BF, we probably would have co-slept. We do Babywear, and we BLW'd.

I guess I'd class myself as an AP-Type...as we are baby-led in all that we do.

As MBJ said, it's being sensitive to your babies needs. Trying to understand them as people, and respecting that they have their own feelings and needs...which may not necessarily be logical to an adult, but that are valid nonetheless. Not rushing them to do things because they should.

It's definitely not an all or nothing thing, and not (IMO) something that you necessarily have to decide to be, but more fall into as you relax into being a parent.

I think the word "attachment" has a broader meaning than just in the physical sense.

Its about developing a deep secure attachment (secure base) for your child, which gives them a sense of rightness and ultimately will help them to be successfully independent.

It means being appropriately responsive to a child - so with little babies and toddlers, not leaving them to cry, following their lead about what they need.

The trick I guess is to be able to adjust appropriately as they grow up and more can be expected of them, because they also need loving discipline, and firm boundaries.

My DD is 17mths and just entering the stroppy toddler phase. I am hoping I will be able to get the balance right between being loving and responsive but also firm and consistent.

Finding out what is physiologically more normal, and what is cultural, and acting on it.

(It is far more physiologically normal to co-sleep/breastfeed until the child self-weans/introduce solids later rather than earlier. Cots in a separate room, formula and baby rice at 4 months are cultural.

NB I did cots/formula and baby rice at 4 months, I haven't got an axe to grind!)