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Parenting

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Original poster

Please don't flame me be supportive and offer help please.

51 replies

FlameGrilledMama · 01/11/2010 21:29

I have name changed as I am sure you are all about to rip me to pieces.

DS went in his own cot only slept for about 3hours after 6 weeks like this we started co-sleeping. When he was 31/2 found out I was pg so we started moving him into his own bed.

DD slept in a moses basket by our bed but when the slepp troubles started I did not hesitate to start co-sleeping. Well DD now co-sleeps on the inside(the bed is against the wall) But after she was born DS started feeling left out and so has started sneaking in the bed and I felt it was heartless to say no so he went on the outside with dp.

DD is 14 months (still feeds three times a night) and while no one is squashed I am aware that this is not a good idea please don't flame me my family have enough to say on the subject (anti-cosleepers more controlled cryers) I just want advice on what I should do that is best for both my DC I don't really mind them in the bed (it is a big bed) but I know that it is not a good idea WWYD?

OP posts:

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winnybella · 01/11/2010 21:32

Why can't your dd be between you and dp? I never got that thing about being against the wall unless there is a gap or bed is v.light and can move.

Don't really see the problem, tbh. Sounds like a lovely set-up.

theidsalright · 01/11/2010 21:32

Why is it not a good idea? Do you want to stop?

Sorry I don't think I understand...

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 01/11/2010 21:34

dont see the problem tbh

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thisisyesterday · 01/11/2010 21:34

why would you be flamed?
there is nothing wrong with co-sleeping and if you are all happy with it then carry on....

BornToFolk · 01/11/2010 21:34

Yeah, what's the problem? Are you all happy with the set up? If so, carry on!

Original poster

FlameGrilledMama · 01/11/2010 21:34

Well I have two dc in the bed all my family say that it is dangerous and that my ds will be in the bed forever and my faverite that the air will get thin.

DD is on the inside because DP is a heavy sleeper I am not I wake at the slightest move.

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lollipopshoes · 01/11/2010 21:35

so, let me get this right... you're happy with the sleeping arrangements, the children are happy and settled with the sleeping arrangements, but some family members think they know better?

Ignore them and do what is right for your family

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 01/11/2010 21:35

I don't see why you would get a flaming TBH, it sounds like a set-up that works for you and that is all that matters. Many people do this or similar but most don't talk about it as people can be negative about it. I co-slept with my DS until he was 2yrs of age and I plan to do the same with my next child. I don't care what people think, I don't talk about it and I don't invite opinion. Just do what works for you, trust your instincts and enjoy it whilst it lasts.

Original poster

FlameGrilledMama · 01/11/2010 21:36

I am happy I was thinking of waiting till DD sleeps through and then moving them into bunk beds with DD on the bottom.

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fattybum · 01/11/2010 21:36

if you don't mind them in the bed then what's the problem? I still cosleep with both my boys who are 4 and 2 and partner sleeps on blow up bed! Works for us and it won't last forever.

potplant · 01/11/2010 21:36

It wouldn't suit me, I'm a very light sleeper and mine are too wriggly. But if it suits you and your DP then I don't see what problem is.

Oh and no-one will know about your sleeping arrangements if you don't tell thank.

lollipopshoes · 01/11/2010 21:36

and btw, some mornings I wake up with me, dp, two children and a dog all in my bed... and my children are older (and bigger) than yours... sometimes I wake up because I am holding on to the wall to stop myself from falling out!

Original poster

FlameGrilledMama · 01/11/2010 21:38

Thank you so much I get so much stick over this in my family I thought maybe they were right and I was being silly. I will keep things as they are for the moment then.

I really thought I would get flamed if anyone in RL finds out they don't hold back.

OP posts:

potplant · 01/11/2010 21:38

*them

(stupid iPhone)

tiredlady · 01/11/2010 21:39

Nothing wrong with what you've described, but I would have both kids in the middle, with you and dp on the outside.

Ignore the anti co sleepers. If your kids are sleeping through and there's enough room in the bed then I can't see a problem imo

Original poster

FlameGrilledMama · 01/11/2010 21:39

Lollipop shoes I draw the line at the dog although ours would be more than happy to jump in

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bbee · 01/11/2010 21:40

I had a similar set up for a quite a few months due to various hiccups in being able to get up in night (to put it briefly). It was quite easy to move toddler and baby back to own bed and cot eventually, when I was up to dealing with the 'routine, of lack of sleep. Sometimes you have to deal with the best way for everyone to get a decent sleep and not feel left out. Little one was eventually quite happy as own bed was more comfortable and I suppose could see that baby was back in own cot too.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 01/11/2010 21:41

Tiredlady- I would not be comfortable having both kids in the middle as the toddler could potentially smother the younger child especially if the younger child is quite a bit smaller.

HabbiBOOOO · 01/11/2010 21:41

"The air will get thin"??? I think this should allow you to legitimately ignore anything else said by this person as their grasp of reality is clearly shaky.

lollipopshoes · 01/11/2010 21:41

she sneaks in when we're all asleep.

Then when we wake up and see here there she looks up at us with those big eyes that say "but I just wanted to beeeeee with you"

I say "get down, bad dog!"

dp says "come here and have a cuddle, good dog!"

Original poster

FlameGrilledMama · 01/11/2010 21:42

I might try them both in the middle DS is like a log he does not move at all but I was concerned it would be dangerous as people keep telling me it is.

It is only my family who know and if they say anything again I will tell them it is none of their buisness thank you .

OP posts:

piratecat · 01/11/2010 21:42

op, do you want to change the arrangements? If so then maybe you could do another thread with a more suitable title, maybe one about moving on from co sleeping? I am not familiar with this subject as dd is now 8 and was very happy having her own space, well, from birth really lol!

Is there a section on mumsnet about co sleeping?

FrameyMcFrame · 01/11/2010 21:43

sounds lovely to me.
I co-slept with DD until she was 3 and I'm still co-sleeping with DS.
I don't have a big enough bed to fit them both in with DP too. :)

Original poster

FlameGrilledMama · 01/11/2010 21:44

x posted that is what I was concerned about Thebreastmilkisonme re two dc in the middle.

LS you must have a small dog because our heafty Lab is incapable of sneaking in the bed

OP posts:

Original poster

FlameGrilledMama · 01/11/2010 21:46

No I am hashould move them outppy with the arrangement but when everyone tells you you are wrong you stop questioning. So I thought I should move them out. I will continue with my plan and move them out together when DD is not feeding every other hour.

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