Please don't flame me be supportive and offer help please.

[FlameGrilledMama]

I have name changed as I am sure you are all about to rip me to pieces.

DS went in his own cot only slept for about 3hours after 6 weeks like this we started co-sleeping. When he was 31/2 found out I was pg so we started moving him into his own bed.

DD slept in a moses basket by our bed but when the slepp troubles started I did not hesitate to start co-sleeping. Well DD now co-sleeps on the inside(the bed is against the wall) But after she was born DS started feeling left out and so has started sneaking in the bed and I felt it was heartless to say no so he went on the outside with dp.

DD is 14 months (still feeds three times a night) and while no one is squashed I am aware that this is not a good idea please don't flame me my family have enough to say on the subject (anti-cosleepers more controlled cryers) I just want advice on what I should do that is best for both my DC I don't really mind them in the bed (it is a big bed) but I know that it is not a good idea WWYD?

[aob1013]

If it works for you and your family, then carry on!

Ally

[lollipopshoes]

I didn't even bother to buy a cot for ds as dd2 had used hers so little!

[Hullygully]

I always thought 17 was a reasonable cut-off point.

On another note my mother very sweetly said the other day that altho she had always considered my child-centred ways to be a bit loony, she had completely changed her mind as my dc are so wonderful and lovely. Ahh.

[FlameGrilledMama]

[Honeydragon]

Hully

I tried but MiL said I shouldn't be co-bathing it will thin the water and I don't wan't to be bathing with them when they are 18

[Hullygully]

You must all give up sleeping at once. Take cold baths.

[FairyArmadillo]

DS is 2 and still in my bed. That cot was a waste of money!

[FlameGrilledMama]

Thanks I did once have a mortifying fruit shoot moment. I went to asda and DS was moaning about needing a drink, So my mum bought him a fruit shoot I grimaced but let it go. I turned around and he had given it to his littls sister (who was 1). I ripped it out of her mouth and was looking around horrified, thinking omg, there is gonna be a thread on this tonight now (there are my priorities) . But luckily no mner saw probably because it was asda and not Waitrose .

[Valpollicella]

My answer to anyone who objects to this (and makes the rod for back comments) is a standard 'Well I doubt they'll be getting into bed with me when they're 15!'

Also there is no way I could get up to put DS back into his bed sometimes as he is stealthy

[cheesesarnie]

unfortunately unicycling is out

[Honeydragon]

I was pleased to realise it

but I'm not totally insane yet Chesesarnie

[cheesesarnie]

true!but dont admit to it.youll get flamed

[Honeydragon]

I have im pressed myself that I have realised you could actually do


cosleeping whilst shopping at asda/waitrose/etc or eating greggs and sipping a fruitshoot

thanks to modern technology, and you could have another tab on your phone/laptop to give Mumsnet a blow by blow account, including crumbs in bed from Greggs and what you are buying

[sux2bu]

Hello there

I co-slept with my DD til she was 3 but she still crept in til she was 5 and now she's 8 she still does if daddy's away.

Baby due 5 weeks - i have every intention of co-sleeping again.

Basically some midwives/heath visitors/some family were anti it because of risk of smothering/sids. However that tends to be if you drink/smoke/obese/heavy sleeper/big thick duvet etc

I am a big lady with big boobs so is husband (complete with moobs!) also like a nice duvet and sleep like a log. Don't drink or smoke.

I did the next to the wall thing/cot with side down next to bed/mattress on floor/extra single next to double.

Can truly say I think I instinctively knew where my baby was even when asleep and i was worrying unneccessarily.

Lots of families in other cultures co-sleep, more than 4 too. It is the gina ford versus penelope leach/deborah jackson argument again.

As with all parenting issues you weigh up the risks, pros and cons and do what is best for you.

I am going to be investing soon in a super kingsize bed for the simple reason that I want all four of us to snuggle up for weekend cuddles and afternoon naps/co-sleeping if i don't want the bed to myself - DD does a kicking sundial a lot and DH snoring annoys so first few weeks bf i will have baby in with me but then hope to do exactly what you are doing.... xxx

[AngelDog]

How do you all keep breathing when you're eating dinner together?

You sound like a lovely family with lovely sleeping arrangements.

If you want to read more about the 'science' behind co-sleeping, there was a good webchat on here with Helen Ball from the Sleep Lab at Durham University - I think LeninGrad put a link to an overview of her research in the list of questions.

[cheesesarnie]

i miss cosleeping.ds2 grew out of it before we did!
it is imo safer to have the little one on the side,not in the middle.but i agree with others,if it works for you,ignore the meddlers!when you,or they get to the point where you need to change it,then think about it.

if you are cosleeping whilst shopping at asda/waitrose/etc or eating greggs and sipping a fruitshoot then youll get flamed!

[mumbar]

No flaming sounds lovely and cosy on these cold winter nights.

As for family - I mentioned that my DS had slept in bed with me one night (2.5yo at the time) and my Dsis who is childless gave me the lecture on starting bad habits .

[FlameGrilledMama]

The air will get thin did make me chuckle to,apperently if we are going to have that many in the room we need to at least open a window a bit or we will get ill because of the thin air.

[MaryMotherOfCheeses]

"the air will get thin"

That's hilarious!


Sorry, I've got no other advice. I hope you carry on enjoying cosleeping for as long as you all wish.

[FlameGrilledMama]

honeydragon that is a really beautiful picture .

Thank you everyone I don't know why I let them get to me, I really don't, they have very old school ideas. I am really reasurred by your answers thank you so much I have been worrying over this at night and it has been keeping me awake tonight I will get a good night sleep.

[posey]

It all sounds lovely

If you need a bit more reassurance as I did, read "3 in a Bed". Best book ever for taking away the guilt or feeling you might be doing something wrong and replacing it with a feeling of "this is perfect, for us, and is right, for us"

[Honeydragon]

oh and dd sleeps under a blanket btw, the bit of duvet in the picture was pushed to one side, to get a sneaky photo.

[Honeydragon]

My ds is 7 and when dd was born started sneaking back in and still does as he likes to be near his sister, dd is now 10.5 months and goes on one side (cot pressed against bed) and ds the other, if she feeds on the other boob she goes between ds and myself and then back to her side if I am awake - dh has his own room as he wakes up at stupid oclock for work.

There is a picture of ds and dd having a snuggly lie in on my profile..... that, yes some well meaning family members would object to

[MrsGangly]

I would hate co-sleeping, BUT if you are happy with things and the arrangement you've got with the littlest one on the outside of the bed with you is as safe as it can be, even I can't see a problem!

[moajab]

I have co-slepts with all of my DSs while they have been small. DS3 still comes in in the Early Hours! And they always slept in the middle between me and DH. When my eldest was little we used to joke that it was a new form of contraception! But obviously not that effective since we've had two more! :o I think everyone gets stick from their family about it. My MIL always used to say "It's all very well when they're small but you don't want them there when they're 18"!