so................... do you have a child rearing philosophy then?

[zippitippitoes]

It's something I've never considered, so I've muddled through on a bunch of rationales gained from my own experience of life, things I've read..not particularly child care manuals...and no research papers that I can think of at the moment..did some education theory and psychology study at one time but not for the purpose of working out how to raise my kids...

So, do you have subjective opinions about child rearing or have you got evidence you are doing things right?

"Mum knows best" bearing in mind that you are the mum and you will know what is best for your child, your circumstances, yourself, etc. etc. I listen to what others do/say and pick and choose what may/may not work for me. My two kids are totally different so I think that in itself is evidence that there is no hard and fast rules.

I too would do well to remember the 'don't be too smug' advice. It's all too easy to be judgemental when we have absolutely no right to be. As long as the kids are happy, healthy and don't grow up to cheat, steal or take drugs and remember their manners who cares what path is taken to get there!

Must dash for the morning thrashing

Having a great child does not mean that you are a good parent, and conversely if your child is difficult it is not always your fault.

basically oliveoil's philosophy in our house

I think some children do grow up to cheat, steal and take drugs despite the best motivations of their parents...

so how does that happen?

"I'm in charge" works for me!

Expect it all to be hell and be amazed and grateful when it's not

thats def part of my philosophy Caligula. If you know how bad it can be then anything that is better than that is bliss.

ok harps,
maybe i could have worded it a hell of a lot better. ALL parents whose children are well adjusted, healthy, happy etc are doing a darn fine job. Of course there are those who we as parents would not want to be associated with, and I am sure we've all known someone like that in our lives.

Yes, I ignore my children and I steal their chocolate.

LOL at frogs

Issymum..I can't wait until mns got a much higher ratio of parents of teenagers in a few years time I hope everyone stays on for the ride..

I fall into all categories a million times a day.

I wake up determined to be a relaxed, great parent.

I fail here, I win there, I am thoroughly dismal on other occasions, and then there are times when my children do great things, and I am "smug" and like to think I had something to do with it.

I am aware that with DD1 I have never been a parent of this child before, and that this remains true on a daily basis. She and I are having to learn a bit every day.

DD2 is luckier to an extent that I have been through it before, and therefore already have the advantage of seeing a bigger picture for her already. Less stressful.

I over analyse too much and although I can agree with everyone with their "overall" desires for their children (healthy, happy, well-balanced, well-adjusted, clever, etc) - it's the minutia of every day life which sometimes I feel totally unable to relate to the BIG stuff. Will putting her on the naughty stair ultimately be a bad thing, even if it works for a problem today. Will making her eat, or letting her eat what she likes cause her to grow up with a great appetite for good, healthy food?

I have NO bloody idea really. But can simply do the best that I can and see how they turn out one day.

Probably terribly. I have never met anyone that doesn't have some form of dysfunctional behaviour and that includes me!!!

follow your nose and leave 'the experts' on the bookshelf

I agree with Philip Larkin too.

However in general I just very laid back, don't worry too much and also try not to worry too much about what other people are thinking or doing.

I try to love and ignore my child in equal measure walking that fine line between independence and neglect...

Philosophy (a combination of the Greek words philos and sophia) is understood in different ways historically and by different philosophers. It, therefore, requires a meta-philosophy to adjudicate. Although it can be conceded that philosophy aims at some kind of understanding, knowledge or wisdom about fundamental matters such as reality, knowledge, meaning, value, being and truth, it is not clear whether these pursuits require a dialectical, i.e., dialogical, approach

Needed to post that somewhere..so just got it out of my system (it's from Wikipaedia)

Catbert that is what makes bringing up children both fascinating and scary

You have to wait and see but act as well, without the knowledge of how well you're doing hence sites like this but of course we could all be seeing universal wisdom that turns out to be unwise.

lol I don't accept the naughty step idea. My children found it ridiculous, and bounced straight back off it, banging loudly at the door to be let back into the sitting room and shouting.

surely there isn't a single parenting idea that hasn't been pulled to shreds at some time on mumsnet?

(I guess we all have consensus that babies should start off on milk of some sort, though)

Gosh, this is a really expansive question. First of all would agre with triceratops - "good" or "bad" children are not necessarily the result of "good" or "bad" parenting. My aims for my kids are that they are:

happy
healthy
educated
kind/thoughtful
self-sufficient/self-confident

a few people in my close family died very young and because of this I don't take anything, either my own life or my chidlren's lives for granted so I really believe in making each day count and appreciating our blessings.

I try to fill my kids lives up with happy memories and tasty food. Give them confidence and independence and lots of opportunity to express themselves. Not worry too much about the constant mess in my house.

of course if you really do make a big old mess of it, then the chances are your children will either become creative genuises (e.g. Philip Larkin, Kafka et al) or otherwise will write one of those snot-infested sob biographies like Angela's Ashes and make a shed load of money.
it's win win really.

or they might end up in prison

reading what hondadream wrote makes me want to bring Plato in

what happens when the idealist is onfronted by a harsh and unwelcome reality?

confronted

ooh plato
I don't know, what does happen when the idealist is onfronted by a harsh and unwelcome reality?

sorry it just sounded like a joke...