What word do your children use for female genitals?

[frannyf]

Apologies if this has been asked before, but this is becoming an urgent issue in our household. Ds is 2.5 and has just started asking "Where is your willy, Mummy?" I told him women and girls don't have willies...and then froze.

I don't want him to think that girls just have an empty area where a willy should be, I want him to realise we have our own special bits, but I cannot settle on a word I feel comfortable with.

"Vagina" is so medical. "Flower" and all those sort of words seem too cutesie. I feel "fanny" is the right equivalent to "willy", and did try it, but I just cringed saying it to ds and felt even worse when he repeated it. I obviously did not sound convincing anyway as he has reverted to calling it a bottom. Help! Sorry if I have rejected your family's choice of name by the way, I don't think any of them are wrong or anything, just don't feel right saying them myself. Am I hopelessly uptight?

If he points to her pubes, she should say that is called pubic hair, not a vagina.

I had a great pop up book I used with my 19 year olds. Very clear!

LM I think you are being a tad pedantic!

Well let's get it straight shall we. The general are is called the vulva, the lips surrounding the vaginal entrance is called the labia and the vagina is a passageway within the confines of the body.

Lets just call it .......... Gertrude

Sorry, one glass of wine too many tonight!

we had baths with the children when they were tiny but they can't actually remember this now, as far as i know let alone what we chatted about at the time

dd2 did refer to exh penis as his key which we just thought was cookey

Sorry Jimjams, I just don't like being told I am uncomfortable with my own private parts.

And I don't mena to be pedantic. The ignorance of my sisters here astounds me. I always wonder what is taught in sex ed in schools these days. perhaps a basic lesson on the correct terminology would be a good starter.

I think the other thing is, that although the vagina is not normally visible, it is a very important and special body part and one we should be proud of, and be teaching our little girls to be proud of. Little boys are proud of their willies, aren't they? I hope so anyway. So although the vagina is not usually seen, I think we should explain that it is there, and (when an appropriate age) what it does.

has anyone mentioned the clitoris, if i was wanting to have anyone aware of one of my bits it would probably be that one (assuming it was between consenting adults)

TBH LM the emphasis is on passing exams so its on being able to label the vagina and then oviducts etc. It's why I made a point of teaching my classes (the boys!) that women have 3 openings - these people wanted to be doctors fgs. Really a surprising number were shocked- they thought urine exited via the vagina.

frannyf - I was just thinking that you must be regretting starting this...
I say to you, though, good on you. it's a very interesting discussion.
and educational.... though I keep being tempted to type the word clitoris to see what effect that might have. I was horrified to see that my niece's sex education class didn't mention them at all...

and frannyf were you tempted to change your name for this

Although with my 3 year old I tend to stick to laydees bits. He told me last week that 'when you turn into a man....' so I guess he doesn;t need anything very sophisticated yet

Jimjams I remember having to draw a diagram once to a male friend. He was mid 20s at the time and we had previously lived together (as boyfriend / girlfriend) for 3 years!

Jimjams, my blood runs cold at the thought of boys becoming doctors only 6 years after finding out that women have three openings.

Do they also think the baby is born through the navel?

Lonelymum, I don't think its fair for you to comment on what she 'should say' Surely we have the right to call our bits what ever we want and feel comfortable with.

ha ha frannyf- - amazing how many don't realise...

btw frannyf you are clearly very far from being uptight...
absolutely we should be teaching our girls to be proud of their bodies.

Well I think after this I may well change my name to fanny f as that is all people will be thinking about when they see my name.

I am being told to go to bed. Dp says I am not allowed to stay up all night talking about fannies on Mumsnet.

go out and test your male friends- I reckon loads think that (one man asked me how you weed with a tampax in- wouldn't it get stuck- the wee that is).

Jimjams, my ds thinks that when you grow up, you then start to grow younger again until you become a baby. He can't believe we don't become babies again, so I told him that some people think we do (eg Bhuddists) and that comforted him! He is also very fluid about the sexes and thinks that we may change as we grow older.

Franny, tell your dh as I have told mine

Bog Off

Yes yes hc, it is all very well being cool and liberated on paper, but I can't bring myself to say it out loud without cringing. I need some sort of purgative therapy. Can we all meet in a field somewhere to shout "Vulva" a lot until I get the hang of it?

I don't think they realise that gender is irreversible until 4 or 5. It's a set developmental thing though- and ds2 is most certainly not there yet. LAst week he was going to marry me but I was going to be the daddy and him the mummy.

I wonder what ds1 thinks. he prefers men.....

No Magnolia I am sorry I cannot agree. The vagina is a defined thing. You can't call the vulva a vagina that would be like calling your ankle your shin. The name means one thing. If you want to use made up names, then fine, I have no problem with that and I haven't a clue what a twinkle is or a minny because in my vocabulary a twinkle is is a flickering light and a minny (spelt differently) is a small car popular in the 1960s onwards.