What word do your children use for female genitals?

[frannyf]

Apologies if this has been asked before, but this is becoming an urgent issue in our household. Ds is 2.5 and has just started asking "Where is your willy, Mummy?" I told him women and girls don't have willies...and then froze.

I don't want him to think that girls just have an empty area where a willy should be, I want him to realise we have our own special bits, but I cannot settle on a word I feel comfortable with.

"Vagina" is so medical. "Flower" and all those sort of words seem too cutesie. I feel "fanny" is the right equivalent to "willy", and did try it, but I just cringed saying it to ds and felt even worse when he repeated it. I obviously did not sound convincing anyway as he has reverted to calling it a bottom. Help! Sorry if I have rejected your family's choice of name by the way, I don't think any of them are wrong or anything, just don't feel right saying them myself. Am I hopelessly uptight?

peesha pmsl - I had a lucky escape then.

Had a parents meeting at school today and was told that their topic is 'themselves' and as part of it they will be learning body parts including......

Vagina

Penis

Testicles

and

ANUS

FFS, I don't think I want to say the word Anus

Which year is that for magnolia?

Year 1

our little girl got her words mixed up once, in a park, standing with other families looking at wildlife in a pond 'Oooh look, mummy, it's full of tampons!' She meant tadpoles. Bless

Yikes Magnolia! That does seem quite young. I hate to say it, but do you think it could be for child protection reasons as mentioned earlier? I guess the schools would need to do something if there is a widespread difficulty with bringing child abusers to court because of confusion over the names of body parts.

The teacher did say it was for health and safety reason so I think that probably is the main reason which is why I won't kick up a fuss. Its just the word Anus

I've thought and thought and 'Fanny' really is the only way forward for me. It's the female equivalent of 'willy'.
I've noticed MIL wince when dd says it though. MIL is from Liverpool so that would fit in with the North/South theory.

Pesha you say 'we call it a mini but the proper word is vulva, same as we call our tummy tummy but the proper word is abdomen .... and bum bum is buttocks, and i really dont think anyone thinks their abdomen is dirty and shouldnt be talked about just because we call it tummy or belly!

The problem comes when we're teaching our daughters euphemisms which no-one else recognises. I think this does imply the body part in question is in some way shameful.

'Belly' , 'tummy' and 'bum' are widely understood and part of a general language consensus, whereas 'fluff', 'mini', 'twinkle' etc are pretty much house-hold specific and therefore euphemistic.

When my dd points to hers and asks "mommy what is this?" I tell her its her butterfly and not to let anyone touch her butterfly because it is so delicate... Works wonders, sometimes she wont even let me wipe her in case I damage her butterfly...

Spiderama i do agree we need a word for vulva which is generally accepted by everyone as i said. But where i live fanny is just not acceptable, it is a rude word and at school she would probably be told off for saying this which i think would be more likely to make her feel that its something to be ashamed than using a word that not many people know. Here fanny is not the equivalent of willy its the equivalent of dick and i dont know about anyone else but i would not be happy with my ds calling it his dick.

I suppose it depends on the child and how it is handled but my dd in no way thinks her mini is something to be ashamed, she knows its private so to speak and doesnt like people watching her get changed but she'll quite happily talk about her mini to anyone and everyone!

I think alot has to do with the parents attitude, if a parent has hang ups about it anyway and feels in some way its something to be kept quiet then teaching them an obscure word will undoubtly add to the childs feeling that its something to be ashamed of but i think if the parent is very open and happily talks to their child and has no problems with it then having a nickname for the vulva shouldnt really be a problem. My dd is very accepting of things, if i tell her something in a straightforward way she just accepts it as how things are, she doesnt analyse why she says mini and some people dont.

Sorry, spidermama.

For some reason i have a blank spot for your name and always read it as spiderama

I agree with peesha - I like mini - it think it sounds cute. for me it compliments willy wonderfully - I personally find vulvar to medical professional / text book but can appreciate from what you say why you feel it is the only way to go.

In our house girls have a winkie and boys have a willy.

Oooooh I quite like 'spiderama' Pesha.

I used to work in a nursng home and all the old dears there called it they're 'flower', a bit old fashioned but kinda cute...I'm from Glasgow and fanny just isn't a word we can use here (derogatory term for idiot) also we have friends in USA so comunnication can be a problem

I am now wondering why all the old ladies were sitting around talking about their genitalia! It beats bingo, I suppose...

I have loved this thread! I finally said vulva out loud today, and it sounds much better than it looks written down. I still haven't decided what to use though. Vulva reminds me a bit of volvo though so I think I can work with that . Prefer it to fanny (seems a bit rude to me too - southerner here) and much prefer it to words that have other meanings such as 'flower' 'mini' and 'tuppence' etc.

Maybe I could be persuaded about vulva. I just think it's too specific to a certain part of the ... erm ... fanny, isn't it?
For me 'fanny' is general for the entire thing.
I'm a Southerner now and though I was born in SW England I was brought up in Aberdeen where everyone said, 'fanny'.

I'm a southener and was born and still am in Surrey but it has to be

FANNY FANNY FANNY FANNY FANNY

I promised myself that I wouldn't post on this thread again (at the risk of seeming obsessed with the subject) but - yey! - three more people saying vulva!
I call that a result...
(I have no objection to Fanny by the way just seems a little rude and sexual for a toddler. And her middle name is Frances )

Yes the more I say it the better it sounds lol. Oh dear, I hope no-one is listening lol. I think I don't like fanny so much because my friends and I would use fanny as a derogatory term ie 'Oh, you great fanny!' if someone had done something silly. I should add that these are male and female school friends, which may explain our playground conversational terms .

Just as a postscript, ds has not asked or mentioned it since I authoritatively told him it was a vulva. He had asked about it for approx a week solid prior to that, so I am glad I could satisfy his curiosity (and shut him up!!!)

Thanks to all for your support (and a good laugh)

Well, my DH is currently watching a film and has just announced "Wow, look at that vestibule, it's way bigger than ours!".

Thanks Mrs Spoon! That's given me a good laugh before bedtime

It's always better if one's vestibule is on the snug side wouldn't you say?