Any other Mums of girls out there who do not crave a boy?

[Easywriter]

I know lots of Mums of girls who do - there have been so many threads on here about it.
But I just don't. I am so happy with my girls and feel that if I did have a boy it would upset the balance somewhat and affect my relationship with them. So much so that if I was to go for a third child (I most likely will not) I would actually prefer a girl. Nothing against boys, of course, but I just don't crave one. Obviously if I had had a boy along the way I would have been delighted, but now I have my girls I am elated and want for nothing more.
Am I in the minority?

Pink Jenny - he's fab school photo on profile.

I find it incredible that anyone could look at the photos of DS and not think that they would be immensely lucky and priviledged to have him.

Serafincat - the problem is that most people don't have a problem with anyone saying they "wanted" a boy/girl. The problem is when people (not just you) describe themselves as being "gutted" at getting one sex or another. Its a really inappropriate way to talk about any baby of whatever gender.

And I would be a great deal more robust if someone said it to me in real life.

Very well said, Kew.

Look how big he's gotten, Kew! He's ridiculously handsome.

Serafina - the jokey nature of your comments early on in this thread, i.e. "Shoot me!" suggested that you weren't perhaps quite as sensitive as you seem to be. Mumsnet can be a harsh place at times, and those of us with (adored and beautiful) boys have every right to feel defensive about your comments. For what it's worth, I hope you don't have a boy too.

The only time I had a slight preference was when I already had DD1 and thought it would be nice to have a DD2 - just because a daughter was by then familiar to us.

Both times I thought I was having a DS (so much for mother's instinct , and prior to having children at all, imagined myself with two boys. But I love having two girls, much more than I imagined I would.

At times when I have thought about a third, I've wavered between boy and girl. I think people are guilty of treating their children too much in line with gender stereotypes anyway. I know a lot of lovely little boys who don't differ that much from my girls.

I didn't care with 1st one but after having a DD really wanted more girls (was never 'desperate' though). Had a 2nd DD and loved it. Never really got boys (no brothers) and used to feel abit 'sorry' for people with just boys. (In part as they were usually so negative about having boys and desperate for a girl). My mum also always went on about how much nicer girls were as did my Nan (both had many brothers).

As I really enjoyed what I had (girls) was very happy to find out DD3 was agirl. Sadly lost her at 23 weeks. Then found out was having twins! I was terrified about having two boys! Anyway you can guess what I had, two boys!!!

However, 3 boys later (!) I can say I have been transformed and can't believe how naive I was to how fab boys are!! Every bit as fun and scrummy as girls! I even adore boys clothes shopping. And having my own boys has made me appreciate other people's boys now and see them in a new light! I now feel sorry for SMOGS as they don't really know what they are 'missing' (not that having only girls they are missing out as i used to hate people going on to me about how much my DH was missing out on!) but just that often you think what you have is best and see only negatives of others..not everyone of course but think I did.

MY DH also swore he didn't care that we only had girls (and he was overjoyed to have them) but admitted when we had boys he was over the moon and had secretly hoped for a son one day.

So basically I never craved one nor really 'wanted one' but when i got one I was over the moon and surprised that boys were as nice as girls!! And my mum has seen the joy of grandsons which is lovely. Whatever people have though is a blessing!

'Will be gutted if I'm having a boy...'

I know people who have though this about both genders and guess what, in every case they have been over the moon once they were born and have changed their tune now and realise how naive they were!!!I don't know anyone who remained 'gutted' about an older child? Anyone who feels that way should not be having another one IMO..

Imagine if a man said that he would be 'gutted to have a girl', it's abit grim isn't it? I have heard men saying that kind of thing and it's awful. Many of them go on to have girls and are smitten. One day you will probably eat your words!!!

I had no preference at all until I had two girls, and now I think that girls must be the best because mine are fantastic.

We were asked if we were going to have a third to "go for the boy" and it was assumed by a lot of people that we had two DDs "for me" and now we needed a DS "for DH". To be honest, if we did have a third (not likely!) I would rather a girl because I'm cheap and we already have lots of girl things to hand down.

I feel totally bloody smug that I have both, so up yours to those wierdies who would be 'gutted to have a boy' (feel a little bit sorry for you)

My sentiments exactly, pink jenny.
No time to post in full but there are done posts that I agree with in their entirety.

I have a girl and have no need of other children at all.

I do remember thinking "thank goodness she's a girl, dh would never have put up with a boy" when she was small, though.

Expressing a slight preference is one thing but using emotive language like 'gutted' is just asking to be torn into.

I have 3; 1DS and 2DDs. You talk about not enjoying the 'boyness' well I can tell you that my DD1 is far more typically boyish than most boys we know including her brother. She's 5 and hates dresses, sparkly things and shopping. She's always outside climbing trees and making dens. Granted her brother does too but her younger sister is far more typically girly. DD1 is loud and bolshy and jumps around like she has ADHD (she doesn't)

What I'm trying to say is that even if you get a girl like you are hoping for, she may be the biggest terror in your ante-natal group, the one jumping around everyones furniture who refuses anything in her hair or to have her pic taken.

I often feel that even with 3, I have somehow ended up with one of each!

SOME posts,I meant

I also agree that there is this 'perfect' one DD one DS family vision that many seem to have.

I have a DD and want at least one more child, hopefuly a DD, prob because I have one sister, my best mate has one sister, I went to a girls' school and have a DD already, so am more comfortable with that. If I have a DS I will be just as happy.

MIL said the other day (yes, she has one DS and one DD) that I need to work out how to get a boy next time, so I can have one of each.

I also agree that there is this 'perfect' one DD one DS family vision that many seem to have.

I have a DD and want at least one more child, hopefuly a DD, prob because I have one sister, my best mate has one sister, I went to a girls' school and have a DD already, so am more comfortable with that. If I have a DS I will be just as happy.

MIL said the other day (yes, she has one DS and one DD) that I need to work out how to get a boy next time, so I can have one of each.

We have just one DC at the mo and she's a little girl. If/When we try for another, I'd like another DD just because I have loads of clothes I can reuse - I wouldn't be bothered if we had a DS, I'd just be thinking if I could get away with putting him in the odd pink vest!!

I have one DD, and am in very early pregnancy with DC2 who I would prefer to be a girl. I love the thought of DD having a sister, as I am particularly close to mine. Obviously its 50/50, and Im more intrigued to see what sort of personality this next one has instead of the sex.
Ive noticed on threads like these that women who display a preference for sons, do not get half as jumped on as women who say they prefer girls, Im not sure why that is. Using words such as 'gutted' etc, is going to put peoples backs up for good reason, although Serafina did try and explain her feelings further down the thread.

Im sure everyone feels like they have got the best when its they're own children.

SoH is, as ever, spot on.

I did have a gender preference - I wanted a girl and, luckily for me, I had a girl. My first question at my scan was "is it a girl"

I would add, though, that my childhood experience of men was pretty negative (my father is an alcoholic; his father was a violent alcoholic paedophile) and the idea of being responsible for bringing a boy up (on my own) was very scary for me. In reality, I have great relationships with my friends' boys and one of them (who is now 25 and shortly to be a father himself) would regard me as a "second mother" so perhaps my fears were unfounded. It's hard to know before you get what you get but I don't think there's anything wrong with having a preference.