Was it reasonable for the health visitor to laugh when I said I was still bfing my toddler?

[nesomja]

I had the most awful 2 year check for my ds yesterday - large group, personal questions asked publically to everyone (e.g. have you all had smear tests?), organised for every 2 year olds nap time, blah blah blah. Then when we finally did see the HV she actually laughed at me when I said I was still bfing my 26 month old. She said 'this question will sound funny but are you still bfing?'. I said 'oh yes', whereupon she said 'no!, no!, you're not?' and I said 'yes I am' and she just behaved as if she couldn't believe it. I could just see her thinking 'nutty over-involved parent' as she asked 'so you just have one child then?'. Luckily she didn't ask about co-sleeping :)

This whole incident made me feel terrible - she then followed it up by saying I should have started potty training at 18 months and when I said he couldn't sit still for any length of time and showed no signs of readiness suggested I should stop giving him fizzy drinks (he's never had a fizzy drink).

My DH says he doesn't know why I even bothered going but somehow I feel I have to go when I'm asked, but they surprise me every time with how awful they are. Is there any way to challenge this or should I just accept it? I find that I am upset by it and feel judged even though I know I shouldn't. Anyone else had similar experiences?

Shrek the Third is mildly pants but Shrek 4 (Shrek Forever After) is brilliant. And who knows why Madagascar is on there too. Because sometimes you like to accept the challenge 'how can we possibly make this worse?'

You'd like WoT. It's epic.

But, yes extended bfing....

Oh in that case you will love it.

I will be reading next year's output while I BF DC2. They will only be 7 months though so it won't count as extended

Don't go back to see the HV. Your GP purchases their services. See your GP and clearly set out your complaints. Make it very clear that the service was unacceptable. My eldest is almost 15 but after three meetings with the HV I refused to go again. A little later the UK head of the HV service had an article published in a broadsheet about the HV's role being to teach ignorant mothers the three "C"s: Cooking, cleaning and communication. Well the HV's I saw couldn't communicate and looked as though they needed a good wash. Biggest waste of public money I have come across - a bunch of nurses who don't like nursing and would rather undermine new mothers and provide poor information whilst not bothering to listen. A national scandal.

Contact the nct and/or LLL for advice and support making a complaint. HV is a stupid woman

onceamai- what a stupid attitude to take against a whole profession just because of a few poor HVs. You could say the same for all sorts of different professionals.

I work bloody hard at my job,have saved childrens lives by working with social services with addict parents and abusive ones. You have no idea what the job entails in some areas. If referrals didnt come in from HVs then there would be so many more children having to live in filthy dangerous homes. Who else would go into every new babys home?

A national scandal- you stupid woman.

All the HVs in my area have been brilliant, very supportive of BF (I did 13 months with each of my children, with hindsight and better knowledge now wish I'd done longer)and assessments were completely without pressure, especially about potty training. Most important thing to them seemed to be the real essentials - speech development, physical co-ordination, attachment with parent, eating, sleeping. I got the impression that my welfare was important to them as well and always felt I could go back for non-judgmental advice. I think there might be small pockets of sub-standard practice, but I wouldn't automatically assume that all HVs are rubbish - ours was quite large team and they were all absolutely fine.

Stop bf, and stop fizzy drinks? Hmm. I suspect she thinks you're a human SodaStream.

Jaffa Cake - you aren't needed in every new baby's home. You are needed in the homes of those who are most needy and they are identifiable in many ways other than a blanket visit to all. If the resources were used more effectively more vulnerable families could be helped. I certainly did not need to see a health visitor (a good one might have been nice but I have no experience of that). I hear what you say about bad eggs in other professions but when I appoint another professional I make a research based decision on whether to engage that professional based on recommendation and reputation. My health visitor was imposed upon me; I would never have chosen to use her and I would never have agreed to settle her bills had I had to pay from my own pocket! Big difference.

How would you identify the babies living in bad homes?

15,000 children under the age of 4 on child protection plans (used to be called the at risk register) in England in 2009.

Majority of these children were referred to social services by health visitors,who then continue to work with the parents to try to improve the situation.

Who would identify them?

nobody. They would be left to care for themselves and possibly die. It a real pity that HV cannot visit often those most vulnerable.
My HV is great, supported bf (mine was till 19 months on demand :P).
but not everybody is great, you will find bad teachers, bad GPs, and even bad cleaners...
I would complain anyway

Thanks for all the responses - I will be complaining, particularly about the group format - I really think they will be unable to pick up anything useful in that setting. I am a health professional, have worked with good health visitors and think the work they do going into homes is invaluable - but I wish I had found one who would support me. I don't feel able to bring up any issues with mine as I don't feel they will understand or even listen without judging.

Good for you. I'd definately make a complaint, the way she spoke to you is totally out of order!