reins? should i use them? why do i not see anyone else using them?!

[jinglybits]

ds is 16mths, he is a BIG STRONG STUBBORN little boy. 90% ofthe time he refuses to hold my hand, he is so strong i have to work really hard not to allow him to yank his hand free, if he can't get his hand away he will often sit on the floor and have a tantrum! He's a very good mwalker and gets quite fed up in his pushchair. I live in central london and so i often walk instead of battling with public transport. Pre-ds my partner and i agreed that it wasn't nice to have your child on reins (like a dog!) but now i can see their merits there is a lot of traffic around here and heaven forbid anything happen to ds, even if i walk in safe areas (i.e along the canal path for example there is always the water danger) dp and i have had a HUGE row about this and although i brought some reins he took themaway from me the same night! ....I don't see any other mums with reins! I have been more aware in the last month and have only spied 2 wrist straps! Is it a terrible thing to use them, my moth3er/grandmother are amazed i'm not using them but perhaps the 'trend' has changed and its not the 'done thing' these days! please advise! If you saw me coming down the street with reins on my ds would you think i was a terrible mother:?!!

Lots of people where I live have toddler reins. I plan to use them myself. Let your DP take DS out for a walk on his own. Byt he time he gets back he'll be so fed up of DS pulling, tantrumming, running away etc, he'll be begging you to get some more!

I rarely see children on reins, but when I grew up (in the seventies) most toddlers seemed to be "reined-in". It didn't cause us any harm.

What you do see, are lots of stressed out mummies trying to handle toddlers and stop them running in front of the traffic. I never understand why they aren't on reins. My daughter is only tiny but she's sure getting a set of reins once she's walking!

I was wondering this too. My mum came to stay last week and she was astonished that I didn't have reins. My ds runs off all the time, but I think if I put him on reins he would get angry and frustrated. I don't often take him anywhere really busy, but if I do, I keep him in the buggy and then make sure I go somewhere that I can let him run around afterwards. He's 17 months now, so I don't find it a major problem. Maybe things will get worse as he gets older and can run faster.

sadly dp does take ds out sometimes and he says its a;ways fine and he holds his hand (maybe its the novelty of daddy i don't know!) plus its not really fair because they go to the park or for fun activities and i'm trying to go to the post office/dry cleaners etc and ds gets bored!

To anyone who thinks reins are a bad idea consider your child being hit by a car - now THERE's a bad idea! My MIL drove me mad cos I had my two on reins. They were safe. I said, "would you prefer them to run in the road then?". She couldn't reply to that. She used to say "she's not a dog". GRRRRRRRRR

i know that ideally i should be teaching him discipline of staying with me/behaving but he's only just 16mths! he only has a volcabulary of 3words! he just doean't understand! my mum says i'm making a roid for my own back if i don't get him used to the reins while he's still young!

It sounds like we could potentially live close to one another, but I have never seen reins being used around here either.

I think they seem quite a sensible option to be honest, and would not think you a terrible mother in the least. My dd is an anchor so I don't need them, but I have always had them in my mind to use should the need arise.

I wonder if your ds would object to these just as much as having his hand held though?

Could you find the reins and just use them when dh isn't around - or would that cause too much aggro?

I've used wrist straps with both my DSs and still use one with DS2 (3y 3m). Tried reins with DS1 but didn't get on with them. I don't understand how other Mums manage without a wrist strap/reins and am terrified when I see little ones running away ahead of their parents (or even worse behind their parents) beside busy roads.

I've had one or two hopefully tongue in cheek comments from people about looking like I'm taking a dog out for a walk or that they were expecting to see a dog on the end of the lead and not my DS.

I have used reins with both my children from the moment they started walking out-of-doors. I still occasionally use them for dd, 2y8m, and she never objects. My two loved their reins because they knew that when I got the reins ready it meant that they would have a chance to get out of the buggy and walk.

The trick with reins, I think, is to pretend that they are not there: I try never to hold them tight, or let the child pull me along, then it really is like a leash. I still hold the child's hand, but loop the reins through my fingers - just in case.

We have a Little Life (?) rucksack that has a clip across the chest and a loop at the back to attach a rein to. It doesn't look like reins at all! Added plus is that dd can carry her own spare nappies and wipes .

For safety reins are critical, especially with a child that doesn't want to hold hands, or near roads or a canal. Has your dp ever walked alone with your ds in an unsafe area? Especially with shopping etc in his other hand? Perhaps the rucksack style reins will be an acceptable compromise for him .

Just seen your post about holding your DH's hand, my DS2 will hold my DH's hand or his granddad's hand but there is no way he will hold me hand for any length of time.

Jinglybits, your mum is right!

I tried reins with my first two and they wouldn't have them - just sort of swung on them then sat down. However if they weren't in the buggy they would hold hands or on to the buggy. Didn't try them with ds2 but he didn't like walking and because of age gaps between children was in buggy mostly until I could trust him.

However with dd2 she loves walking and won't hold hands, so I tried reins and they were a great success. I think she felt freer with them on and out of her buggy. Once I hadn't put them on and she was walking right next to me and suddenly, out of nowhere, turned around and ran across a (fortunately quiet) road.

I have to say on my fourth child my views on just about everything have changed - I see reins now as being a very positive thing allowing children some freedom while still being safe.

p.s - I would think you were being very sensible and a good mother actually!

ds has woken up so i've got to go but thanks for all the feedback! x. ...could do it without dp knowing but i just wish he would understand! its not just that though, would install more confidence in me that it was the right thing to do if i saw other people doing it!

I think I wondered this and used them anyway, at least up to about 2 years old. I noticed that most toddlers were strapped into prams and not given the chance to practise walking or get any exercise. If you're near a road, and your children won't hold your hand, it's actually your legal obligation to have them in a pushchair or in reins (rule 4 of the highway code!).

From the moment I fell pg wiht DS1 I was going to use reins........ I bought some and they never got used for him at all - just didn't need to.

I kept them for baby no.2 and was convinced I'd use them this time round as DS2 was the complete opposite of his brother. He wouldn't even move with the reins on, so I bought a wrist one - same thing - we didn't get anywhere. So I ditched them and now he just holds my hand again (he's 21 months).

I think thye're an excellent idea, but unfortunately not all children will 'co-operate' in them and you actually further, and along quicker (with less stress) without them

have nothing against reins in principle - but they simply didn't work with my headstrong little ones - both of whom carried out a sit down protest and refused to budge.

sounds like yojl've made up your midn that you wasnt to use them so do. as for why you don't see wother people using them its because they look common

I used reigns for a short time with ds - until he could understadn "rules". Was advised by my GP best friend not to use wrist straps, as she's seen far too many disolocated shoulders/injuries from them.

1, 2, 3, 4 ,5....just mentally counting and waiting for somebody to jump up and down on Mud for that comment....

nah HMC - I'm trying to work out how they look "common" if you "rarely" see people using them LOL

lol

lol its ture though

I use a harness on my 6 year old. There are times when he needs it to be safe. If you need to do it, do. (didn't use them with ds2 but when I needed him to be safe he was in a buggy- will probably do the same with ds3).

BTW I decided to go with the harness with ds1 when he escaped from a shop and ran straight towards a main road- I dumped ds2 and my money and only managed to catch him because he turned around to laugh. I always use it now if we have to stop anywhere, or if we're around traffic. In fact I borrowed a friends reins (toddler ones) last week when we had to walk back through traffic pushing a buggy with a baby and carrying ds2 (age 3- dh had his shoes grrr and hold onto ds1. If you need them to keep safe you need them. Sod what they look like.

I think its a good idea.
DD is walking everywhere now and we are off on holiday next week so i am going to take them with me and see how we get on.