reins? should i use them? why do i not see anyone else using them?!

[jinglybits]

ds is 16mths, he is a BIG STRONG STUBBORN little boy. 90% ofthe time he refuses to hold my hand, he is so strong i have to work really hard not to allow him to yank his hand free, if he can't get his hand away he will often sit on the floor and have a tantrum! He's a very good mwalker and gets quite fed up in his pushchair. I live in central london and so i often walk instead of battling with public transport. Pre-ds my partner and i agreed that it wasn't nice to have your child on reins (like a dog!) but now i can see their merits there is a lot of traffic around here and heaven forbid anything happen to ds, even if i walk in safe areas (i.e along the canal path for example there is always the water danger) dp and i have had a HUGE row about this and although i brought some reins he took themaway from me the same night! ....I don't see any other mums with reins! I have been more aware in the last month and have only spied 2 wrist straps! Is it a terrible thing to use them, my moth3er/grandmother are amazed i'm not using them but perhaps the 'trend' has changed and its not the 'done thing' these days! please advise! If you saw me coming down the street with reins on my ds would you think i was a terrible mother:?!!

Common is not actually letting your child out of the pushchair until they're due to start school because it's much easier to keep them under control that way ...

Can I just say I've never used reins. My DS is 17mo and has never been allowed out of the pushchair when we're out. He's also never had a pair of shoes.

But that's because he can only do 17 steps, maximum And the reins will come out as soon as he does want to get out and walk!

My dd is 17 months and walking and running all over the place. I got her a similar thing to prettycandles, a wee backpack with a little rein attachment (very cute) however I still find it difficult.

The minx is uncontrollable! I tried to take her to the corner shop the other day and she was all over the place, running this way and that, sitting down on the pavement, climbing up steps, etc! Very frustrating. I should probably use them more to get her used to them.

Still, I am glad I have them as she would NEVER hold my or anyone elses hand for more than 5 seconds.

Also, I can't remember ever seeing a child about my dds age with reins either. However I can't remember seeing a child of my dds age out of a pushchair either!

"I cannot understand people who have a problem with them as my dd probably has more freedom with them on as she has both hands free and can wander further than when she has to hold my hand."

Maybe because you haven't got children that throw themselves on the floor and point blank refuse to move when you tried to use them (despite repeated efforts and numerous occasions, and even bribes . They're very strong willed and stubborn.

Hmm wonder who they get that off - must be their daddy

Read this thread in amazement. Since when did reins look common?? Wow - never heard or thought that one before -ever.
Personally, we tried them, hated them, taught DD that she must always hold a hand/side of the buggy when out - every trip we insist this is the case with no exception. Lucky enough that she takes us seriously and never had a problem. She is no angel but this is something that we are totally serious about and she has got the message, thank God.
If you feel you need to use them, then do so - no big deal. Don?t let anyone tell you otherwise

reins are common ???!

well heres a list of some more common things:

pushchairs
dummies
bottles unless fed by a uniformed nanny
knee length white socks
Clarkes shoes
babies
polyester school uniforms
fish fingers
anoraks
poodle pony tails
bubble gum

its all true though!

QoQ - my DD did that - along with the limp puppet thing when we wanted her to go in a different direction. Binned them on the condition that she walked properly - suddenly no probs as soon as the reins came off

I used reins on my son as soon as he could walk and i used to get a lot of comments about him been tied up like a dog but i used to ignore them its better then having them under a car and he loved having the freedom and when my dd can walk i will do the same.

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I dunno Happymum - but apparently strapping them into a buggy is common too!

Everything that could possibly in any way make a mother's life easier, can be referred to as common.

ready made food
school dinners
Pushchair for a child that can walk at all
reins
dummy
laminate flooring
hair in pony tail
high chairs
sweets and crisps

etc etc. All the above can in some way make a mothers job easier, therefore if you do them, you're not "doing your job properly" and therefore don't care. Therefore you're common.

dp's arguement is get him to hold your hand/the side of the pushchair, perservere and you can train him!...how do you train a 16mth old to understand that? seriously is it just me, is that possible?! completely understand why pregnant/ mums of more than one child would need reins but when i suggest dusing them i get the feeling people think i'm too lazy to run after ds and that i should get off my chunky butt and keep up with him! bit it's not about that, its the safety aspect plus imo as some on thisthread have said at his age he would perceive wearing reins as having much more freedom than straining his arm up in the air to hold my hand

I used reins with ds - it was especially handy to be able to yank him upright when he fell over (which he did a lot!). I used to get funny looks and comments but I thought they were brilliant and can't understand why you don't see more parents use them.

Message withdrawn

Confused about the 'common' comment - I think they look very cute and 1950s idyllic-childhood stylie. I haven't actually used ds's much (haven't let him out of the pushchair around roads on grounds that he's safer/it's faster - usually incorporate some running around somewhere safe into the trip). But inspired by this thread I may dig them out. He really likes them - recently found an extendable attachment bit and insisted on taking it to bed with him tonight (he was playing jingle bells with the buckle).

I liked using the reins so much on DS that I had 2 pairs! If they make a mums job easier, then surely they are a good thing!

I had the lovely 1950's style leather reins with winnie the pooh on.
I got them for DD when she started sitting up in her Silvercross and found they were great when she started walking and was still a bit wobbly. Once she was walking out and about again I found they were great. Gives them a wee bit freedom.
I used them if getting the bus so I could fold up buggy and still have a hold of DD. Leather ones are strong enough to lift child off feet, ideal when rescuing from a road side dash.

As a nanny i always use reins and if parents don't, I usually ask them if i can and I explain that i want to ensure their beloved child's safety and have my own sets of body reins.

In my opinion reins are a freedom for children and a way to bring up stranger danger and enviromental dangers.

On a trip to America in 2002 with 3 children 3m, 2.3yrs & 3.9yrs [ looked after them since 1st was 6m], the sight of the older 2 walking along side the pushchair with their reins on drew comments, 1 mum stopped to chat and made it clear she thought it was not 'on', funnily enough after she went on her way the oldest one commented that 'her ds was likely to get lost as he didn't listen to his mummy!'

Needless to say a few days later said mum was hysterical, ds had run off in the shopping mall, it was pure luck that the oldest spotted him, and held his hand [no way was i going to touch him] as we backtracked to his mother, she was very keen to ask where she could get her own set--walmart i replied, not exactly thick on the ground in Beverly Hills.

I get my charges used to reins well before they are mobile by using them in the pushchair. The 2 oldest often walked ahead of my in the park linked together by their reins and holding hands very happy and feeling safe and secure.

As a side benefit it is easier to prevent a new walker falling over as tho you may lose grip on their little hand when they trip, you have the reins and are able to pull up on the reins to avoid an accident

I feel it is the safest option in the current climate of stranger danger.

I used reins for my own children with no problem (way back in the '80s, when people didn't think they were common!!)

I remember there being a mad rush for my 2nd-hand reins I was selling at a car boot sale years ago (they hadn't sold at all for ages) after the murder of Jamie Bulger. Shops also suddenly had a rush on them.

I have also seen the after-effects of a child being hit by a car when running into a road. It's not nice.

Ideally, all children will never run off or cross the road without looking. In the real world, they have no sense.

Childminders have a duty of care for their mindees and, therefore, I always use reins if I need to keep tabs on more than one child - some of their parents maintain that that they've never successfully been able to use them and that the children refuse to walk. Not sure why, but I have never had a problem with any child using reins (but they're really scared of me!) I use wrist straps for the slightly older toddlers. I tell the children that I use reins/straps because I don't want to lose them, which they seem to think is OK.

I have never come across anyone who thought it strange that I use them (it's my scary face again).

i always thought reins were very cruel. i never used them with ds, i never needed to. oh how i changed my mind.......

now i have dd its a different matter. she refuses to hold my hand and sometimes its near impossible to prise her into the buggy. so reins it is...i dont really give a crap what people think...its for her own safety. she can get away from me and run no problem at all. we took her to the zoo and we were at the little fairground, she was eyeing up a ride, pulling to dive onto it...one slip out of my hand and she would have been under the wheels of the ride....it doesnt bear thinking about.

I will be using reins on the DTs.... and couldn't give a rat's a&*& what anyone else thinks about them.

I haven't noticed anyone saying anything negative about any children I have seen wearing reins.

I used reins for DD until 6 months ago and allways felt reassured that she was safe. If she wanders off all I have to do is tell her that I am going to put them on her and she returns to my side immediatley as she is a big girl now at nursery school and only babies wear reins.

I agree with many other posters here that it is better to use reins than to either loose child in a crowd especially with the risk of abduction or have a child run in front of a moving vehicle.

Q of Q - Just had to say I didn't make myself very clear. I meant I don't understand people who have a problem mentally with using reins ie the posters dh, not those who physically have a problem with a willful child refusing to walk in them. Hope this makes more sense.

I bought some a couple of weeks ago though didn't have much success with my older 3 children - dd1 used to sit on the floor and say "woof".
They make my life a lot easier - shopping with 3 children and an escapologist baby isn't much fun! I don't always use them but always keep them in my bag now. Am also much happier if dh and grandparents use them - they are not quite so used to the very wriggly baby
I certainly wouldn't use them if I thought they were common though I imagine you could probably get them in a nice Burberry check...