reins? should i use them? why do i not see anyone else using them?!

[jinglybits]

ds is 16mths, he is a BIG STRONG STUBBORN little boy. 90% ofthe time he refuses to hold my hand, he is so strong i have to work really hard not to allow him to yank his hand free, if he can't get his hand away he will often sit on the floor and have a tantrum! He's a very good mwalker and gets quite fed up in his pushchair. I live in central london and so i often walk instead of battling with public transport. Pre-ds my partner and i agreed that it wasn't nice to have your child on reins (like a dog!) but now i can see their merits there is a lot of traffic around here and heaven forbid anything happen to ds, even if i walk in safe areas (i.e along the canal path for example there is always the water danger) dp and i have had a HUGE row about this and although i brought some reins he took themaway from me the same night! ....I don't see any other mums with reins! I have been more aware in the last month and have only spied 2 wrist straps! Is it a terrible thing to use them, my moth3er/grandmother are amazed i'm not using them but perhaps the 'trend' has changed and its not the 'done thing' these days! please advise! If you saw me coming down the street with reins on my ds would you think i was a terrible mother:?!!

Don't want to put you off, but I use reins, and I am very common.

Yes, they do look a bit like dogs on reins, but toddlers act quite a lot like dogs, and have even less sense of self-preservation, so I think it's fair to make them wear reins anyway.

My ds doesn't like reins. He has a choice - he wears them or he sits in his pushchair.

dd has same choices colditz. and sometimes I dont even let her choose.

Used reins for ds between 16-24 months and got some unbelievable looks from people - but this is NZ where people stick their kids in enormous buggies to walk around the shops. So I ignored them. Ds now 2.5 and we get around new places by me pointing out something to aim for about 10 metres away. At 16 months I just don't think kids have the planning skills to know where we want them to go, and they are too small to comfortably hold our hands (and may need their arms for balance.)

gawd woman you've got more patience than me - no way would I get to all the hassle of getting the pushchair out to take him to the park (2 minutes walk away) or drop DS1 at school (1 minute away)!!

I always used them.

Would never forgive myself if they ran into a road.

I still use a wrist strap occasionally on my DD who has just turned 4. Say if we were in a busy shop...only takes a second.

And use them often on her twin sister, but she has SN

anyway, don't worry about if other people are using them or not.

You know if your DS and you know if he needs reigns or not

Lots of people don't use sealt belts..........

Hausfrau, what was it about reins that the Germans objected to? And what was their solution? We have pics of me growing up in Germany wearing reins aged about 2, so things must have changed in the past 30 years.

Haven't time to read all this... Dd loved her reins. It meant I didn't have to hold her hand as we walked along busy roads etc. She felt like she was walking free and independent. Also very useful when she tripped as I could swing her up before she hit the ground.

I see people walking along busy roads, allowing their small toddlers to run along without holding onto them in any way, and - well, I'd better not say they're terrible mothers without reading this thread! But it makes me nervous to see it.

Reins are also useful if you have another child or one in a pram. I used to attach the reins to the pram handle.

I think it depends on your lifestyle and where you live - I've never needed reins - kids were either in the car, pushchair or running free in pedestrianised shopping area. I have 2 local playgrounds accessible via redways as well, so no cars on them

I live in Milton Keynes BTW

It amazes me when people liken reins to putting a dog on a lead, or consider that they constrain a child. I actually found reins very liberating for both me and dd - she could walk by herself and explore a bit without putting herself in danger, and I could let her go without holding my hand all the time because I knew that I was still in control of where she went. As it happened, she was really good at holding my hand and not running away, so I could perhaps have got away with not using them, but I felt that she was safer that way - if she let go of my hand, she couldn't go anywhere.

I felt that using them was justified the one time that our neighbour pulled up in his car opposite, dd spotted him, and tried to run across the road to him. Without the reins she would have ended up under the wheels of a lorry that she just hadn't seen. That's more important than whether people thought she looked like a dog, or thought it was "common" to use them.

I have just scanned this thread but would like to say they look sooooo cute NOT common

I use reigns on my 2.4 year old and have done since she clocked how to undo the harness in her pushchair and managed to leap out of it. She gets them put on as a punishment if she doesnt stay in pushchair or at least hold mine, or DPs hand. Had to use them the other day - was in the building society and she got herself out of chair and was running riot. Everyone was tutting and keen to tell me what mischief she was getting up to (I also had DS with me who was crying so i couldnt track her every move). I put reigns on her much to the disgust of some people because she went limp on me and dangled there to prove a point. It worked out okay for me thought because the queue was out the door but the whole saga irritated the queueing people so much that i was kindly offered a queue jump which i took quite readily. Use them if you need to.

yup, we use reins, and i don't think it's common at all.After all they are just plain blue and green ones-not burberry!
As everyone has said, they are so much safer!!
And so what if noone else uses them? Perhaps you could start a trend in your area??
As for your dh, just buy some and don't make a deal about it. Just pop them in the changing bag ready for your next trip-what he doesn't know won't hurt him!

agrre withnoddy- not common.it'smore common to have a screaming child in a buggy, whining because they don't get any freedom.

thats the thing alexmum, its the choice between a whining child in the buggy who wants out so much that he'll start headbanging the back of his seat!! or letting him out, holding his hand, with him yanking at it to get it free at least every couple of min probably more, with me petrified he's going to get free and run into the road! i let him walk free in the park and i rush about with him as i think the exercise is good (for us both) but maybe thats half the problem, maybe i shouldn't allow him that freedom because its too confusing for him to then have to understand about holding hands on the pavement (he's only 16mth) but what does that mean? that logic would see me escorting him around the playground on my hand without letting him run about freely! To tell the truth i don't see a lot of small toddlers walking about in london, they're mostly in their buggies but he wants to so i feel i should encourage that and he's got so much energy! would be great to wear him out a little more!

I use them - why wouldn't you?
Sorry haven't read all of this thread, so maybe I missed the reason why.

No time to read the thread, just to say that I use them and wouldn't be without them. DD1 is more than happy to wear them often asking for them to be put on as that means we are going out. I now have a 10 week old and so use them while pushing a pram and feel alot happier that she is safer this way. Also they were great when I was pregnant and not as quick or agile as I might be normally. I cannot understand people who have a problem with them as my dd probably has more freedom with them on as she has both hands free and can wander further than when she has to hold my hand. When she was younger and not so aware of them I am sure she felt very independant as she didn't even notice I had hold of the reins most of the time.

My DD's been walking for a month as well, haven't really taken her anywhere that would require reins haven't really thought about them TBH. She does hate holding your hand (and she's short and it kills your back), might have to invest in a pair or a wrist strap.

Common is surely fishwife women screaming at their little unreined darlings to get away from the effing road?