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Parenting

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Original poster

For those of us who are completely scared tell us the great things about having DC2!

33 replies

Bumperlicious · 19/09/2010 17:46

Am due in two days, and I need positive stories :)

Was at a children's part 2 weeks ago and a friend of a friend just sat down next to me with her 5 month old DC2 and said 'It's really hard having two you know?'. I don't need to hear that at 38 weeks pg!

So tell me all the lovely things about having another child.

OP posts:

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SacharissaCripslock · 19/09/2010 17:52

Oh it's utterly lovely having two. Mine are 5 and 2 and share a room and I love to listen in to them when they don't know I'm there - my 5 year old imparting his wisdom to his little brother is the cutest (and most hilarious) thing ever.

It's also great because they play together and leave me alone to MN.

bigchris · 19/09/2010 17:53

Mine are 6 and 4 and tge eldest takes the youngest downstairs and turns the tv on while I snooze

NickOfTime · 19/09/2010 17:55

it's fantastic when they get to the point that they can interact with each other. without supervision.

until then, she ain't wrong

sorry.

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Pheebe · 19/09/2010 17:55

I have had a fab experience with ds2. DS1 was a real shock to me but DS2 slipped into the family and we barely noticed him. I think part of it was the confidence we had that we could care for him, we knew what we were doing. DS1 adores his brother and did from the first moment he laid eyes on him. We made sure he was very involved right from the beginning but also spent lots of time doing stuff with him too.

It takes more thought and organisation but for us it certainly wasn't any 'harder'.

Is there anything specific you're worrying about?

TheProvincialLady · 19/09/2010 17:57

Well to begin with it is very hard. But it pays dividends long term because they play together. When DS1 (4) is at preschool DS2 (20M) spends his whole time saying "Where brudder? Brudder gone. Where brudder gone?" They genuinely love each other

superv1xen · 19/09/2010 17:59

negatives-

the fact its harder to get babysitters for both of them :o

its more hassle getting them in and out of cars, ie car seats, getting pushchairs out etc (sounds minor but can be really annoying)

positives - what the other posters have said :o

its actually pretty easy, TBH i found it easier having DC2 and adjusting to having two kids than i did adjusting to just having my first.

Roo83 · 19/09/2010 22:31

My dd was born 2 weeks ago-already it has been so special watching ds1 cuddle and love her. He is constantly kissing her and telling her he loves her-I'm so excited for when she can talk back and play with him a bit. Yes, I proably am in the honeymoon period at the moment, but I'm sure there will be many happy memories to come. Enjoy!

pigleychez · 19/09/2010 22:35

Sure its tricky to start with but it gets better pretty quickly, You just learn differnt ways of doing things.. ie Juggling :)

DD's are 2 and 4mths and adore each other. DD2 beams when DD1 goes near her which DD1 loves.
She will randomly give DD2 hugs and kisses whist she is playing too which is sooo sweet.

Just seeing them starting to interact with each other makes the bad days all worth while :)

llynnnn · 19/09/2010 22:36

agree totally with Pheebe

we have 2 dd's - 4.2 years and 15months and dd2 spends all day calling her name and following her around. dd1 really takes her under her wing whereever we go and really adores and wants to help her.

dd1 just can not manage playing on her own either, she constantly needs someone with her, so dd2 fits this role perfectly

Sure they wont get on like this forever but I'm enjoying every minute at the moment.

Hope all goes well for you. I definitely found being pregnant and looking after a child much much harder than having two dc even during those tiring first weeks :)

nameymcnamechange · 19/09/2010 22:42

Bumper - she was trying to be helpful. Expect a massive shock to the system, just like you had when you had your first dd.

After a few months, when you have got your head round the idea of no naps for you during the day to make up for being awake all night, and your toddler demanding food or the potty or a nappy change just when you've got the newborn latched on, when you realise you will have none of that luxurious lazing around on the sofa breastfeeding and doing nothing else all day but rather you will have to get both dc up and ready to go out because the first dc really cannot be cooped up at home all day ...

When you realise that none of that is going to happen and now you really have to step up to the mark, then you will be fine.

And you will love your no. 2 dc as much as you have ever loved the first one. Oh yes, yes you really will.

SparklyJules · 19/09/2010 22:57

Nearly every story DD wrote in Yr 1 was about her little brother and her teacher commented on how lovely it was and how she always talked about him. My bottom lip wibbled!

It's not hard having 2 kids, it takes a little more work, but the rewards are worth it!

Good luck with number 2!

Original poster

Bumperlicious · 19/09/2010 22:59

But it wasn't really helpful, and don't you think I know all those things you said, and have been fretting about them constantly most of this pregnancy? I'm not stupid, I know it is going to be hard but I was completely freaked out by having DD, despite it all being planned, and I didn't enjoy much of the first year. I'm trying to be a bit more positive this time around, after all, I've done it once, I can do it again. That's why I asked for positive stories. The negatives are easy to find.

OP posts:

nameymcnamechange · 19/09/2010 23:01

Possibly she, like me, doesn't know about your anxieties.

Good luck with it all.

SacharissaCripslock · 19/09/2010 23:01

Honestly, Bumper, two is just perfection. Never once have I regretted it. It is just the best thing ever having two and watching them grow. You will love it.

fairylights · 19/09/2010 23:13

the thing i love about having 2 of them is the moments when they don't know I am watching and they are playing with each other and giggling at each other - so so sweet! My ds is nearly 4 and dd is 13 months so I am surprised that they are that interested in each other but now that dd can pretty much say her brother's name she shouts it all the time, bless.
There are, of course, moments when its chaotic and v stressful and my ds does fairly regularly injure his little sister (in minor ways ) with his general enthusiasm for life etc.. but i really enjoy having 2 of them much more than when I just had the one.
just have to persuade dh that we need another one to add to the collection

spula · 19/09/2010 23:14

I was truly terrified Bumper, but I absolutely love it, and not sure what I did with 1 now DD1 has loved helping fetch things (but if I've asked and refused I've never moaned at her) and seeing the way DS stares adoringly at her, and the way they make eachother giggle if fab! OMG getting soppy now (so unlike me!)Hope all goes well, and enjoy them both

fairybaby · 20/09/2010 01:14

The amazing things they do and say far outweigh the fact that is hard! Like when my 2.9 year old son says to his 2 month old sis when she cries: "don't worry, we love you and everything will be all right!" How could this not put a smile on your face! Or when I tried some new shoes on her and he decided he was going to teach her now to walk. I was amazed how he tenderly held her legs to teach her to walk.

Now I am a control freak in terms of organization but now that I have two I am really enjoying "letting go" and accept the chaos. I was too caught up with the first one with what to do and how to do it right. With my second I enjoy the madness of it all, knowing that it does get easier, the tough times
will pass, and we will survive, no matter how difficult it is.

Firawla · 20/09/2010 13:45

I don't think it's really so hard with two. It might be much easier than you expect, I found that and some/most of my friends say the same. Imo small babies are less work than toddlers so as you already have an older one I think you get it in perspective that the baby is not really that hard also you know what you are doing, so it just becomes easy. And is lovely when you see they really like each other and want to play together. Mine are still quite young 2 yr old and 9 months old but they are v attached to each other, its very nice to see.

pinkblossom · 20/09/2010 14:01

Having 2 is the most fantasic thing ever. I have 2 dds and they are both so beautiful but oh so different. I too was scared before I had dd2 but once she was here, all my doubts disappeared. It is so lovely to see the bond developing between them when they were little.

Good luck to you and please don't worry. All will be fantastic when your DC2 arrives :)

Original poster

Bumperlicious · 20/09/2010 14:50

Sorry nameymcnamechange, I didn't mean to be funny. I thought the clue was in the OP and thread title!

OP posts:

zapostrophe · 20/09/2010 15:01

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Habbibu · 20/09/2010 15:05

Bumper, ds is nearly 1 and an appalling sleeper - I've been sleep deprived badly for all his wee life. But you know what? It's fab. It's just fantastic. he and dd are a mutual adoration society, and have been from the start - they think each other is the funniest and loveliest thing ever, and really do entertain each other.

And it's easier with no 2 - you just don't overthink things, you know they'll get through whatever phase they're going through (eventually. And he WILL start to sleep. Really). I love it, love seeing my wee family, and ds so desperate to copy dd, and dd so happy to show him. I couldn't be happier.

MrsBadger · 20/09/2010 15:08

it's fab

I came into the living room the other day to find dd (3.1) 'reading' to ds (8m) - she was even holding the book upside down so he could see

and bath times are fantastic

also, having a toddler and a newborn is 600 times easier than having a toddler and being heavily pg.

do get a double buggy though (ebay, gumtree) even if you think dc1 is too big.

Habbibu · 20/09/2010 15:11

Really, MrsB? DD was 3 when ds was born, and I don't think we'd have ever used a db.

MrsBadger · 20/09/2010 15:17

hmm, well maybe at 3 - dd was 2.6 and I couldn't have done without it, esp as they both had chickenpox when ds was 6wks.

But saying that I probably haven't got it out since her birthday

depends how much you walk I suppose, and how much of that walking must be done at adult speed, not 3yo speed...

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