Safe thread for those using Gina Ford/Babywhisperer routines

[MrsGangly]

Can we please have a thread dedicated to those wanting or trying to follow some routine, however strict or vague, rather like the attachment parenting thread, so we can encourage one another and get and offer advice without the bunfight that it invariably turns into from people who don't believe it is the way to go?

As I have said elsewhere, parents parent in different ways depending on them and their child (only have one but I imagine it changes a bit for each one) so let's all respect different people's choices.

If you don't 'approve' or 'believe in' routines and things work for you, that is great, but let's leave this for people who want to use some sort of routine.

Thank you.

I'm also a routine fan but it didn't really work as had babies with silent reflux and they were miserable. But as soon as I saw a bit of light I'd put routines in place and eventually, as they grew out of the reflux, they settled into a routine easily.

I have a couple of friends who had easy babies and didn't need a routine. However, when they turned one they became more assertive and rule the roost now. Still no routines, but very tired parents.

Hi jazzy, sounds like you've worked out a good system for now so I'd do what works for you! I know GF says the dark nursery for all sleeps, but I personally think it is a good thing of they can sleep in other places - much more portable. And if he seems to go to sleep in his cot ok at night, there's no problem. However, I do also know that things change quickly this may not last for you and you may need to come up with a different plan next week, but that's just how it goes!
We are a bit all over the place, not GF, not BW, and I feel a bit lost. He doesn't seem to need to feed every three hours, but he is usually tired after being up for about an hour. But then doesn't sleep well, waking after one sleep cycle (~30-45min). We then try and get him back to sleep, which may last for another sleep cycle or may last for longer and then I have to decide whether to wake him to feed him or let him sleep. He is also waking for the "dream feed" and at least once at night and then early (6:00am)... I have no idea what to do - should 3h feeds improve night sleep? Or go to 4h and try and live with night wakings? Any thoughts ladies?

Hi firefish sorry to hear of your sleep troubles with you LO. Have you considered re settling with a dummy? My DS is a very sucky baby, to the extent that he will eat until he makes himself sick sometimes. I know GF says not to let them fall asleep with a dummy, but the way I see it, there are worse things... And it can be easily corrected if it caused a long term issue, but more often than not, my DS spits it out to sleep. I also split feed most of the time, often he will settle at night with a couple of ounces. During the day, I get him to take half the feed, have a suck on his dummy for a bit, then take the other half. It seems to remind him how much food he's had and how full he is and keeps him satisfied that bit longer.

By the way, what is a 'dream feed'?
Xx

I tried using GF routines when DS was about 6 weeks and spent a couple of weeks getting really stressed out. I really struggled with getting him to sleep for the correct length or to be awake at the right time.

Now I still struggle to get him stay asleep for his mid day nap so wonder if it's time to revisit these routines? He's nearly 16 weeks now...

Jazzie, even Gina writes about how it is important that babies learn to sleep in places other than their cot. The important thing is that you are happy and your baby is happy so you are fine!

A dream feed is when you feed them without waking them up. I'm just about to head to bed so will pick up my 3 month old DS and feed without waking him. He'll usually take a full feed then sleep until 2am (3am if we're lucky).

Your question about newborn routines reminded me of the routine I did when my DS was newborn for the first 2-3 weeks.

Every 3 hours, I had to have done all of the things below at least once (clearly if he needed feeding before 3 hours, I was going to feed him):

DS to feed
DS to sleep
Me to eat
Me to drink
Me to go to the toilet
Me to do my pelvic floor exercises
Me to rest

Am a BW fan. Have a 3 month old. We have a pattern that resembles the Alfie Model (above). Currently Im having problems with the afternoon nap. He is resistant to going down at 4-5pm although he yawns regularly. I will try fresh air and a long feed between 2.30-4 tomorrow and hope that this wears him out.

I'm also guilty of allowing him to fall asleep on the boob, and not teaching him to fall asleep in his bed. MUST TRY HARDER!

thanks for starting this thread

Has anyone followed GF through weaning? I have read through the weaning section of the contented baby book, and she makes it sound very complicated!! How have other people found it?

I am going to watch this thread but may join in at some point later! I'm due Jan 12th and will need to get baby into routine when I go back to medical school when she is 9 months!

Hi all, I'm still persisting here. Positive he only needs to feed 4hourly now but am struggling to make the A time and S time add up to 4h! I am finding he is going down better if I put him down after a few yawns, but this is usually about 1.5h of A time which means he needs a 2.5h sleep? He might do this for one day sleep, but not all three.
Should I try and encourage him to stay awake longer or just realise that he will be cranky later - coz he's tired but doesn't want to sleep? Or perhaps he has had enough sleep but is just not old enough yet to stay awake so long? Seems contradictory though...
jazzy my ds is a strange one and only tolerates a certain amount of sucking, so he'll suck his hand or fingers and be happy for a few minutes, then decides he doesn't like it anymore so will start grizzling or try to shove his entire hand down his mouth. Obviously this can be quite concerning in the middle of the night. So when I settle him I have to move and hold his hand away! Needless to say, he doesn't like dummies either!

Hi, really enjoyed reading thro this thread and found it extremely helpful. I read the Baby Whisperer whilst preg and now DS is 8 wks I've gone back to it, I have noticed and don't understand why she doesn't list routines with specific times like Gina.... Am I missing something, or is that the whole point of this book? I keep flicking through looking for charts to guide me and can't find any. How do you know what times to work to. Or am I being really dumb?!

Hi
Great thread - I've really enjoyed reading it and hoping I can get some suggestions.

My DD is 4mo and I'm trying to get her into a better routine. One of the things I'm struggling with is to get her to sleep a bit longer in the mornings. She is very good in the evenings, she has a bath, feed, book starting at 6pm is down b/w 6:30 - 7pm, a dream feed around 10pm, but then wakes most mornings at 5:30am. At that point she has a feed, but she is pretty much awake (despite my best efforts at trying to put her back to sleep with a dummy, keeping room dim, not talking etc). She then gets really grizzly by about 7:30 - 8am so it's down for a nap then. She is kind of stuck in this pattern of short daytime naps as well. The only way she will sleep for longer is if I nap with her!

How does everyone get their LO's to sleep until 7am? I'm not complaining since she does get a good long sleep in, but it would be nice if she could go just a little longer in the mornings.

Sorry, hope I'm not hijaking this thread!

Choc44 the point of the babywhisper is that it is more flexible that the Gina Ford program. Think of the babywhispers advice as more along the lines of a pattern for the day rather than a set routine. If your little one wakes up at 7am then start the pattern from then, if it is 8am or 7.45am it doesnt matter, just start each day with a pattern in mind - E.A.S.Y at the appropriate interval. Given your little one is only 8 weeks you are probalby looking at something like a 2 hour interval. Treat feeds before about 6.30am as night wakings, feed and put back to bed in a quite and dark room. Can be a bit tricky at first but your little one will pick up the pattern pretty quickly.

Hope that helps. Good to see this thread resurrected. :-)

GF's book starts from week one. I am totally clueless with what to do in the seven days leading up to week one. How do I know how often to try and latch baby on for colustrum and when my milk comes in? Do I just let baby sleep/eat when he wants initially and try and follow Gina from week one? Any experience of this pls?

Bumping the thread, wish I'd found it sooner!

My baby is 12months now. I've had a summary sheet stuck up in the nursery all the way through, so the one up now is 9-12months. I had a dizzy moment and got the book out to see what the routine was for 12months+ and found the end of the book !

elizabeth it took my baby a few weeks to settle into anything near the routines in the book. He just slept most of the day and I ebf so fed on demand. I basically fed or offered every time he woke up and grizzled. Then main thing I followed was the settling to sleep routines, so the first few weeks I barely saw him as he was in his dark room with the door shut for most of the day!

Elizabeth as a rule of thumb wake baby to latch every 2 hours in the first week as frequent nursing in the first week go a long way to discouraging engorgement when the milk arrives around day 4-5. Once the milk is in ensure baby feeds every 3 hours from morning (6-8am) until bedtime (10-11pm) and every 4 hours at night until birthweight exceeded then let baby decide at night but continue to ensure baby eats within the 3 hrs. The 3hr clock starts at the start of a feed, if baby wakes earlier then baby is fed and clock restarted, in the early days baby needs ~18hrs of sleep and good day sleep will give good night sleep.

Natural are you gf or bw?

Hi!
We are mostly baby whisperery here - really helped me when I bought the book at 6 weeks, as I was so clueless and stressed out to begin with! However, I would like to rename the EASY routine: when he's asleep its not 'me' time, its cleaning time, so the routine is EASC here!
I've never tried to stick to a set timescale though, just do feeding and sleeping when he wants them, and play inbetween. So it seems funny to even call it a routine; I just give my baby what he wants, when he wants it - isn't that what AP people do??