Safe thread for those using Gina Ford/Babywhisperer routines

[MrsGangly]

Can we please have a thread dedicated to those wanting or trying to follow some routine, however strict or vague, rather like the attachment parenting thread, so we can encourage one another and get and offer advice without the bunfight that it invariably turns into from people who don't believe it is the way to go?

As I have said elsewhere, parents parent in different ways depending on them and their child (only have one but I imagine it changes a bit for each one) so let's all respect different people's choices.

If you don't 'approve' or 'believe in' routines and things work for you, that is great, but let's leave this for people who want to use some sort of routine.

Thank you.

Which Baby Whisperer book do people recommend?

I've just had a look on Amazon and there seems to be quite a few!

Great thread and long overdue :) :) We're onto our 3rd Baby-Whisperer-d baby in filly-land and absolutely swear by it here...we've got looser and stretchier over the years but all 3 dcs have responded brilliantly to the EASY routine and I find it easy to stick to even when we're running all over the place.

We've found the "Solves all your problems" book is great JAB, although I haven't checked out any of the others....but some friends borrowed our copy because whichever book they bought didn't have enough detail in. HTH.

JABnowJAR i got Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and The Baby Whisperer solves all your problems. Both are now almost on constant loan to friends. Worth every penny.

mrspickles though it is probably not a popular view, i kind of agree. Once i stopped breastfeeding and DD was EFF it was much easier to maintain our routine. All of my friends who were EBF had trouble establishing and maintaining routines.

I do not want to undermine anyone continued breastfeeding though. I am sure it can be done.

Thank you for the suggestions.

Mrs Pickles, I BF and my DS needed feeding every 2 hrs in the early days and then every 3 hrs. I never did manage to stretch him out to 4 hrs. However I was able to follow nap times and bedtimes perfectly on the routine I followed and just adjusted the feed times to suit him in the day

My first child ended up moving to formula at 4 months, but that's a different story.

MrsPickles, I've exclusively bf 3 dcs and have established solid 3 hour (then 4 hour) routines with all of them from very early on, no trouble. All of them did 7pm-11pm-7am by 10 weeks at the very latest so I don't agree that ffing makes a difference. But I do wake-to-feed and I invest a lot of time and effort into the daytime feeds, regardless of where I am/what I'm doing, to make sure that I get enough food into them during the day :)

In the early days both of mine only slept for 45 mins a time and would remain awake for only 90 mins before needing another kip. So one way or another it all worked fine for me. As they got bigger they moved to napping at 9am, 12 ish and 3pm ish. Then onto 10.30am and 3pm.

I followed Rachel Waddilove's routine for naps and used baby whisperer for lots of other things such as sleep training. I didn't use Gina Ford.

There is world war 3 breaking out next door between my 2 DCs. Serves me right for coming onto mumsnet for the very first time today Must dash and resolve things. Hoping this makes sense, as I'm typing it very fast.

Hi everyone, from Australia.
First, thanks for starting this thread - I couldn't find anything similar on other forums I belong to here in Oz.
Second, I would appreciate some advice from any mums using Gina ford, or any advice at all! Has anyone's dc woken at 6am, from 11pm, instead of the advised 7am? My 6wo son has done this twice now, not in a row though. I was so excited until i realised the effects to the rest of the day's schedule, everything also moved ahead 1h.
Possibly related is the fact he doesn't self-settle - this wasn't a concern until now as after attempting to "top him up" and settle him it was 7am!!
Any thoughts on either would be great!
Thanks!
Kirstie

hi Kirstie, I am from oz too, though living in the UK now. somedays i really miss home.

I havent done Gf though i have read the books. I lean more towards the Babywhisperer. That said, when your little one wakes up, is he hungry?

DD has been known to wake up a bit earlier than expected and i find she is quite happy to play in her cot for a little while while i get things organised. We FF so by the time i have gone to the loo, made the bottles up and changed her out of her night nappy it is 6.45am anyway so not too early to begin the day as it were.

Just noticed you say your little one is 6 weeks old. Is that right? and going from 11pm to 6am? wow! you got yourself a dream baby there! at that age he probably is starving when he wakes. Maybe you could just go with it for a little while and then just stretch everything else out during the day by a couple of minutes (so long as he is not demanding food iyswim) until you are back in the zone.

Alternatively how much is he taking at his 11pm feed? Could you possibly increase it to help him go abit longer?

I didn't know Babywhisperers needed a safe place on MN! DS is 2 now but I'd like to heartily recommend The Babywhisperer. I looked at Gina but she wasn't for me. I did the Babywhisperer's EASY routine from 6 weeks with dreamfeeds, and DS was sleeping through til 8am from 10 weeks.

seaturtle, have a look at the babywhisperer bashing thread in breast and bottle feeding .

Oh! Ok... I was a Babywhisperer evangelist after those first nights slept through!

Firefish - we did BW rather than GF but I think the approach is similar...at 6 weeks your lo is doing really well to manage 11-6 so there's not much point in fighting it. I used to just do a 'night feed' (ie keeping it dark, no nappy change unless urgent etc) at 6am, but make it as short a feed as possible, then put them back down, and re-wake them around 7.30 and offer the rest of the feed. Then assume a normal 3 hour cycle from 7.30, but be willing to feed at 10 rather than 10.30 if necessary, depending on whether they took enough extra at 7.30 to get them through a full 3 hours. Eventually the 6am became 6.15 became 6.30 became 7. In fact DD2 (now 13 weeks) will now sleep until around 8.30 if not woken by my older dcs (who share a room and sadly tend to wake around 7.30/8 even at weekends!). I always made a point of really cheerfully (even if I didn't feel like it ) opening the curtains, turning on the light, saying 'good morning' and being really smiley and happy to see them when it was really morning to show the difference from a night feed. And praising them lots whenever they did sleep through properly :)

Just a big up for Gina Ford, both my boys were trained by the book. DS1 was easy, no problems think he must of known the book before he was born however DS2 mad!!! totally free spirted. However I did my best and followed it much more freely. Got to big up the weaning book too - amazing, absolute no problems. Failed the potty training!

Have two great sleepers, eaters, manners and well mannered boys(apart from the 5 yr old who is now impossible).

In addition a dummy is a life saver.

Thanks sugar plum fairy and fillybuster for your replies!
Where are you from sugar plum? I'm from Melbourne and lived in London for 3 years - seems like ages ago now, but was only 2.5 years ago!!
He's been a wonderful 1st baby - easing mum into it! - and has been sleeping 11ish to 4ish most nights for a little while now. He's a big boy, so I'm not sure if that affects his ability to sleep longer earlier or not.
He has only done 11-6 twice so far we're back to 4am again now. It was soooo hard not to be excited the first time, , so there was no way of putting him down - I was smiling and so was he!!
I'll try and contain my excitement next time, and if that doesn't work, just start the day earlier!

...one other thing to add: my main concern was keeping the consistency without overstimulating him by keeping him up too long or under stimulating/over sleeping by letting/making him sleep longer - in both cases, in order to stick to the times.
Also, which BW do people use? Ie, author's name? It seems each country has one, even some cities!!
Thanks all :)

Hi ladies, ok I'm really struggling now and starting to wonder if gf is for us...
The main problem I'm having is his day sleeps, getting him to go to sleep. He looks tired, so I wrap him, get him nice and dozy, but he won't sleep unless being held. Sometimes he'll even lay in my arms, staring, blinking slowly, but not fall asleep for half an hour or more. This means he is not asleep "on time" and not sleeping for the recommended time, unless I let him sleep and ignore the rest of the times for the day.
Do I stick to the times, or is the amount of sleep more important? Do I continue to let him sleep on me?
I'm going crazy second guessing myself wondering whether I've feed him enough, ignored the tired signs, or even misinterpreted the signs and he's not actually tired.
I also struggle to keep him awake when feeding. I really do try, but it's particularly hard when he's wrapped (10pm feed).
I've asked health nurses, but none follow gf so their advice isn't always helpful.
Any advice?
Kirstie

You may be overthinking it. Just put him down, awake if need be, and see how he goes. Ideally you want him to learn to go to sleep on his own, in his bed and need to be focussing on encouraging that (using shushing, dummies, whatever) rather than focussing on getting him to sleep regardless of the cost, if that means going to sleep on you. In the long term what you want is a baby who settles nicely, and goes to sleep on his own, not one who believes that mummy/daddy is the only safe place to drop off.

I would feed until dopey and then lie them down swaddled in the early days. Certainly they'd shout for a moment but then they'd drop off. DD had a dummy. DS sucked his thumb from an early age. At about 4 months I did PUPD with DD to help her as she started to become trickier to settle for naps, DS I would leave him for 5 mins at a time and go in again as PUPD didn't work for him. I didn't use GF I used a lot of the Baby Whisperer ideas but I followed the routines in Rachel Waddilove's book. Your LO is still very young, it's still early days. At this stage mine would need a nap every 90 mins of being awake and wouldn't stay awake any longer. Perhaps forget the book for a week and just lie him down for a nap on his cues i.e. rubbing eyes or ears, yawning, going quiet, less movements etc. Then begin the usual nap routine of a quiet, dark room etc.? Then go back to the book again if you like? Neither of mine fitted into a routine from a book until after 4 months tbh. I used to feed them lying down sometimes so I could sleep whilst they did in the day. Loved it with my first DD, I didn't do it all the time but it was a lovely treat here and there to snooze as well Some babies fit perfectly into GF routines some don't but if you're feeling stressed I'd give it a break for a short while personally ((hugs))

Hi ladies,
While I know it's important to be a little flexible and and take your baby's individual needs into account, I've been driving myself crazy trying to figure out how I could possibly give my new baby a long lunch time nap of 2-3 hours as GF says - AND feed him at 3 hours. Granted, I'm not great at maths but surely you can't do both??????

For example

7am wake and feed
8.30 - 10am morning nap
(3hrs between feed)
10am wake and feed
11.30am - 2pm long lunch nap of 2 1/2 hours
2pm wake and feed
(4hrs between feed - a big no no according to GF)

So if I wake him at 1pm instead, then he's only getting a 1 1/2 hour lunchtime nap, which is no where near 2 -3 hours.

So what's better (or worse)?
Going 4 hours between that feed, or only giving him a much shorter nap than recommended?

For older babies who require less sleep in the day this obviously isn't a problem, but for very young babies (who need 5 1/2 hours in the day) I just can't figure it out!

Thanks for the advice.

I personally wouldn't wake them, but just feed them on waking. That's my opinion for what it's worth and that's what I did with mine, I never woke a sleeping baby from a daytime nap. The only wake I did do each day was the dream feed at night

If it's not working for you Kirstie, it's ok to just be guided by your baby. I didn't do Gina Ford, I did read the baby whisperer and rachel waddilove, and I found the Harvey Karp book to be brilliant for us. I just let dc find own routine, and at about 4 months, I looked at the sleep feed times chart in GF and they were pretty much exactly what she was doing, but had got there herself without any stress and she should be doing this, or that at a set time. It's one of the joys of having a newborn, or small baby, all those cuddles. Enjoy it.