Any tips for coping with 3 under 4 ? I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

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I have a 3 and a ` year old and a 3 week old. This is the first week of reality as DH has returned to work following paternity leave. I am in a state of shock after the first day

I am worried that I am now spreading myself too thin, and have been selfish having another baby. Seem to snatch moments with each of them rather than spending decent time interacting.

I am a little nervous about tomorrow and the chalenges that will be thrown my way.

Any tips or coping strtegies?

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hiya,

i had 2 under 2, they are now 3 (ds) and 21mnths(dd) and regulary care for my younger brother who is the same age as dd.

i try and plan ahead, know what im doing each day so i can think, thats done, this next.

i get the younger two to nap at the same time, even if it means one is awake a while in there cot.

tidying up waits, i make sure when i have a moment i make all of us lunch and pop it in the fridge, instead of waiting for the kids hunger to kick in.

i get out, strap them in the buggy, ds on the buggyboard and get out, they are usually quiet in there, and i feel better for it.

i hope i can help, i know its different as one of mine isnt mine iyswim, but i know what that frazzled feeling is like.

ask me anything i might not be able to help just say i know how you feel.

Also - take it one day at a time - your little one is still SO little.
You will be fine and MN is full of lots of tips and coping strategies - try the chat forums too? which may be a little busier
And off to bed soon, so you're not so knackered tomorrow,

My method was , perversely, to wake up at dawn, and use that time to break the back of the core housework. Specifically, I would set off slow cooker and washing machine, get dressed and have a coffee. It meant that even if the rest of the day was playing catchup, that I had a fair start ( being dressed and awake) and a fair finish ( being able to slop dinner out of the slow cooker with no further cooking).

Having done this , I think being out as much as possible is a good way to go. Playgroups, surestarts, library, soft play. Somewhere the older ones can let off steam, you can sit like a zombie holding youngest, and with any luck maybe start developing a local support network of mums.

Hang in there! First year is the hardest. Then they'll toddle off together.

I also found going from 2 to 3 completely a bit overwhelming. The first few months are so intense when the baby is tiny.

The only advice I can give is stay calm and go easy on yourself. If they watch a bit more TV or have the same dinner every night it won't do them any harm. Accept all offers of help and get online shopping deliveries! Try and get out of the house and see other adults if at all possible (even just a short walk). It can change the focus if toddlers all clinging onto Mummy and baby!

Well done for surviving Day one! My youngest is now 16 months and things definitely get easier.

Agree Soft play is a good place during early days with 3 (older 2 go off and play and you can get some peace with baby). Also visiting sympathetic friends who can help entertain toddlers for an hour.

thank you so much for replies. .i'm thinking that the next two weeks will be me learning how to go about things. a lot of it is logistics, just getting from a to b safely. My 1 year old is at the stage where he won't walk where i want him to and just sits down in protest. i might use the phil and teds more and strap him in.

Also have 3 under 4 and there's always going to be difficult moments but like others have said getting out and being organised works wonders to minimise crying.

I actually found it easier when DH went back to work as we all got back to routine. The first few weeks are always going to be a bit stressful when everybody cries and poos at once but it doesn't last long. Our youngest is 7 months now and adores his brothers and vice versa.

Find a really good bouncer for the newborn so he can watch and be entertained.

My eldest has just started his 15 hours of free nursery school and after a bit of crying is having a great time. Is yours starting too? Having just 2 for that time seems like a holiday.

Lower your standards. Expect the house to be dirty and the washing to pile up a bit and meals to be a bit scrappy for a while. Those things dont' really matter.

And don't feel guilty. You have given your children something lovely, siblings close in age. I was one of 3 close in age, and I have 3 in 4 years. Mine are all primary age now and they are constant company for each other, it's great in many ways having several children close in age. Hard work at the start, but in some ways it's easier than big gaps in that the children are (if you're lucky) very compatible. All mine like the same sorts of activities, it's easy finding days out and activities that suit them all.

It's not selfish at all. Frazzling, yes.

My top tip. Don't ever compare yourself with friends with one child the age of your oldest. You will never keep up. Their life will look hugely free and calm and sorted. You need at least some friends who also have slightly too many children for comfort, so you don't feel too bad about your own disorder/shoutiness/failure to do anything.