Does your child get bullied when playing XBOX etc online....

[MrsForgetful]

www.thekenburtonshow.com/kentag.html

Basically my son has been cyberbullied on Online Gaming. He has Aspergers which makes him extra vulnerable to bullying...

He told me about this campaign where online gamers basically tell eachother if someone is being nasty/swearing to upset someone or ganging up on them and all the campaign members online at that time warn this person that he should STOP.... and if he DOESN'T stop... that they will all MUTE his swearing/verbal abuse and ALL quit the game and go play elsewhere WITHOUT THE BULLY

This has GREATLY helped my son. He now feels safer.

If you are interested...I will post more.

P.s I hope you know what a DOUCHE is... my son says thats a term gamers give to those that spoil their gaming.

Ds says it's a shorterned version of a very rude word. IIRC, it's a en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douche but look at douchebag on urban dictionary.

oops! i don't swear!!!!

(I'm ALWAYS having to look up Urban Dictionary...I never know what the teenagers are on about!!!!)

ds too little for all this - but waht a great idea!

actually, some players on Live can be extremely horrible - ime it's the teen boys trying to prove how manly they are.

Dh works on xbox games and so plays Live a lot. He is 33.

Tell your DS that other players won't even warn the annoying little knobheads abusers. They will immediately mute and block them and so your DS should not feel bad about blocking ANYONE who makes him feel uncomfortable - even if they aren't saying anything explicit. If they are being particularly offensive, Live has the option to report the person and players who are routinely offensive WILL be banned by the admins.

Your DS has the right to play in an online space that is welcoming and not bullying and people who misuse the system should not be warned imho. Let them learn by being banned and having to beg the admins to give their account back. Tis the only way to police an online community.

would you be happy if i posted that to the campaign forum?

you can if you like. However I don't actually agree with that site's message and I feel the actions they are proposing will make things worse for the players involved.

The thing is that abusive/offensive behaviour is already against the Live code of conduct (here) and will bring down the banhammer sharpish.

In fact, it's the SECOND and THIRD items on the list:

• Don't harass, abuse, or spam other players, or encourage other players to do so.

• Don't scream, yell, threaten, or stalk other players, or encourage other players to do so.

Your DS can submit either positive or negative feedback about other players that will affect their gamer reputation (here) and he could file a complaint about someone who has violated the code of conduct at the same link.

Your DS needs to be careful as Live would much rather the Admins handle user reports than users band together in the way that campaign suggests. The code of conduct explicitly says that taking action (other than muting or blocking) against a player and encouraging others to do so can be seen as harassment. So your DS would probably be better off muting/blocking/reporting himself, individually than joining a group that wants to shame others into giving up their dickish behaviour. It's usually safer to just ignore and block anyway as he would hate to become a target of angry players' retribution (for instance, if they are later banned they might correctly infer that the group of people publically berating them for their behaviour is who got them banned) for being involved in a campaign like that one. Since admins act on reports, a group of people can get an innocent person banned with a large number of false reports. Best to ignore, mute, report. Just tell your DS to repeat that to himself. Ignore, mute, report. Leave the actual policing up to the admins who have real power to do something. To me the site you have posted sounds like the online equivalent of forming a posse of your friends to go out and (say) hunt down people who sell drugs, even though selling drugs is already illegal and you are safer to just report it to the police.

Another thing your DS should consider is either joining or creating a group that plays together with their own "code" (usually things like 'no teabagging' 'no fragging' etc). When he plays with someone who is nice and respectful he can always save them to his friends list so that he can continue to play with them online.

Also, a hint, the older (more mature, more respectful) players almost never do random matches because they usually end up with a bunch of teenagers who are being jerks and ruining it for everyone. My DH will only do random mathes when he is xp grinding.

thanks for such a detailed reply...You have hit the nail on the head for me...The bullied can become the Bully...

I will talk to DS further...regarding ignore, mute, report as that is exactly what i tell my boys to do in real life when provoked....getting them to ignore is hard though :)

Thanks again

(p.s i shan't post on the KEN forum ...yet... as i'm not a 'member' ...i shall make an informed choice.)

You're welcome

This is EXTREMELY common on Xbox Live and it's very likely it's not at all personal.

Usually, they are playing a highly competitive and highly charged game, and insults are exchanged regularly.

You can easily mute and report offensive players.

Just make sure your son knows it's not personal, he's not a target, and they do it to everyone.

It's mostly just teenage boys being idiots. It's common on XBL.

And also do not let him respond. Make sure everything goes through the proper channels, report/ignore/muting the offensive player is the best course of action. Do not allow retaliation.

Sorry but i'm a father.
My Son's just been bullied on his X-Box 360.
I've seen you chatting about is any body doing anythig about it.
Does anybody have any links to Microsoft for advice ?
Kind Regards
Steven

my niece was palying a game called black ops i think via the xbox and apparently you can play with other people online via the xbox.

none of this means anything to me as i have no idea how these games work. anyway she was playing the game and could actually hear a couple having sex!!!!!

this has made me quite concerned. i did not know you could hear other people whilst playing on your own game. its made me worry for my sons safety and now seeing your post it has me even more worried!
i do hope your son is ok x

The same thing happened to our son.

These are games that deal with very adult subjects. All of the first person shooters have 18 ratings. So if they feel bullied, maybe they should stop emulating murder from their bedrooms. I am a 23 yo male gamer and most certainly would not be letting my ds plan the games I play. At least not random matchs anyway. Teenagers are not very good at not feeding the trolls. but them skyrim. They will forget about online posing for a long time.

*buy them skyrim they will forget about online playing for a long time. Btw i am not condemning people who let their kids play online. I just think you should perhaps have a good look at the content of the game first . Type mw2 airport scene into YouTube.