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Parenting

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Original poster

Talk to me about 2 under 2 please.

55 replies

pissedrightoff · 30/08/2010 19:38

Had a positive pregnancy test today, DD is just 13 months old.
Thought we would start trying last month as took us a while to get pregnant with DD after an ectopic pregnancy. And lo and behold...BFP.

We are very happy but did think it would take a LOT longer than this, so DD will only be around 22/23 months old when new baby arrives (all being well)

My Mother did not even say congratulations when I spoke to her earlier, just started going on about how I'd NEVER cope with 2 under 2 etc etc.(lovely,supportive Mother I have)

So can any other parents who have a similar age gap between their children give me any hints/tips/reassurance/cheering up.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Original poster

pissedrightoff · 30/08/2010 19:39

Sorry that should clearly have ended with a ? not a .

My apologies.

OP posts:

kittywise · 30/08/2010 19:41

congrats. That's not a small gap really you know!! It's easily doable you'll be fine. I had 6 kid within 8 years. That's doable too!! Have fun with it.

Original poster

pissedrightoff · 30/08/2010 19:47

Thanks for the congrats kittywise, The first one I've had!:)

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SilveryMoon · 30/08/2010 19:48

You will cope.
There is 18 months between my 2 boys. the eldest has just turned 3 and the youngest is 18 months.
My parents also told me I'd find it very hard, and tbh, yes I did and still do some days, but it's not so bad that you will not cope.

You will be fine.
For me the first few weeks were fine. the baby just slept and I was still able to spend lots of time focused on ds1.
By about 6/8 weeks, the baby was awake a lot more, but he was quite happy in a bouncy chair watching me and ds1 and he had a few over-head toy things too.
The colic was bad and I never thought we'd come through it, but we did.
Luckily, I was able to get both ds's to nap at the same time so I'd also go to bed then too.
Ds2 was sleeping through by \about 4/5 months (IIRC)
The hardest bit for me was/is trying to deal with the outbursts from my older one in terms of violence and aggression towards his brother.
My youngest also has the worst tantrums, but we are learning that they pass quicker if we don't touch him or make eye contact.

You really will be fine. It all does take some adjustments from all, but the truth is, you will cope because you will have to, it's that simple.
Hopefully you will have easy-going children. Mine both have my temper, which is a nightmare when all 3 of us have the ump.

Both my parents have since said that I am a much better parent than they thought I'd be and that they are very proud.
I'm sure your mum will see the same in you

tassisssss · 30/08/2010 19:48

I have 20 months between my girls.

you'll be grand! my top tip is to get a double buggy no matter how good your older child is at walking. this way you can pin both in and so for a sanity saving walk if needed!

FWIW (and I know this isn't massively helpful) for us, the 2 under 2 bit was a lot easier than the 2 under 2.5/3, ie when dd2 was a teeny baby she was so easy and slept loads so we could focus largely on dd1. Then she hit 6 months, was harder to transfer if she fell asleep in transit so kind of needed her own wee nap schedule (fair enough but tricky to fit into playgroup sessions etc). Also dd2 wanted weaning right when dd1 wanted toilet training so that was all a bit hairy.

And then dd2 turned 1 and dd1 was still very much a toddler - 2 toddlers at once is tough (that double buggy now a life saver!).

But now dd1 is nearly 4 and her wee sister is pretty much potty trained (and also thinks she's nearly 4). They're great fun together, still a handful but share a lot of interests and mostly get on great.

(there were never any jealousy issues at all, I think within days dd1 couldn't remember life without her wee baby)

tassisssss · 30/08/2010 19:49

oh yes, like SM getting them to nap at the same time is key...!

BertieBasset · 30/08/2010 19:49

Congratulations! How wonderful.

I have no idea I'm afraid, but hope you don't mind me watching the thread as hopefully I'll be in a similar position soon

kittywise · 30/08/2010 19:49

my first was just 14 months when the second was born. You cope because you have to! Enjoy it

SilveryMoon · 30/08/2010 19:54

Also, don't worry too much about getting a routine for #2, you'll find s/he will fall in to whatever is happening now.
My best friend has 13 months between her dc's and my aunt had 11 months between hers.
Both have coped just fine.

Original poster

pissedrightoff · 30/08/2010 19:57

I think it's going to be great,and as tassissss says DD1 won't really remember life before her wee bother or sister.

I'm just so happy ( if a little shocked)that it happened so quickly this time and really thought my family would be happy as well.

Never mind.

So double buggy and simultaneous napping is the way to go then.
Any other life/mind saving tips?

OP posts:

kittywise · 30/08/2010 19:58

alcohol?

sam84uk · 30/08/2010 20:04

There's 20 months between my 2. Dd is now 5 1/2 and Ds will be 4 in Nov. It was tough when they were small, I didn't have Dd in a good sleep routine so when Ds was born I often would end up with both of them in bed with me. I was lucky that Dd took to potty training quite quickly so I didn't have 2 of them in nappies for very long. The good thing now is that they're much easier and get on very well. It may be tough while they're small but it won't last forever. Congratulations :-)

SilveryMoon · 30/08/2010 20:04

A friend of mine who has all girls, said that whenever she had another baby, she gave the others a 'baby' (doll) to look after too.

Also, I was very worried about making ds1 feel pushed out or replaced, so when the baby cried, if I was doing something with ds1, like colouring or playing I'd wait a while before getting up. Sometimes I'd wait for ds1 to realise the baby was upset and he'd often go over to him and say "aaahhhh bubba".
I also tried to get ds1 involved in looking after the baby. He'd get the nappies or dummies.
I can't give any life-saving tips as it's different for all of us, but you really will find your way.

SingleMumAndProud · 30/08/2010 20:06

I have a 15 month gap and I am now a single Mum (was with DH until recently).

Mine are now 1 and 2 and its just getting easier as they are interacting with each other better. They are SO attached to each other. When DD2 is asleep, DD1 is desperate for her to wake up so they can play together. They are so sweet together, it makes it all worth while.

It is hard work, but totally doable. I don't think I would do it any other way (and mine we both unplanned!!)

mamatomany · 30/08/2010 20:07

Hard work physically having them that close, but you are in the zone so it works, you'll be fine, i had three under 4 it's lovely seeing them playing nicely together. About twice a year.

SingleMumAndProud · 30/08/2010 20:07

OH and I don't know anybody locally. Have no family within an hours drive and never get any help. If I can do it, so can you

StickChildrenThree · 30/08/2010 20:07

Hi, I had 3 under 2 (dd1 was 17months when twins were born!).
Would say try and get naps at the same time,
get a bag of books/stickers/crayons/puzzles that you can do 1 handed and are quiet for when baby needs feeding,
try and batch cook simple meals for your dd's lunch and freeze so thats 1 less chore,
try and get out of the house, even if just around the block (baby likes the buggy &dd gets to run around)

and enjoy them- won't be long before they are playing together and ignoring you!

hmmSleep · 30/08/2010 20:08

Congratulations!!

18 months between my 2, currently pg with number 3 (eek). You'll be fine, in fact, now they're 3 and 4 I find it easier when they're both around than just one of them, they play together and keep each other occupied so I can get on with other stuff!

DreamsInBinary · 30/08/2010 20:10

Congratulations!

I have a 23 month gap, and DC2 was a non-sleeping, colicky baby. The first few weeks are fine - you forget how much newborns sleep. And then the next few weeks/months are fine too because the eldest does not remember a time when the youngest wasn't about, and second/third/fourth babies fit in around the first remarkably well.

The worst time for me was when I was heavily pregnant with a a tantrumming 20 month old who knew something was happening but couldn't understand what it was.

Double buggy a must, as is spoiling DD like mad as soon as the baby arrives. Would also recommend putting DD into nursery a couple of mornings a week if poss.

Good luck!

hmmSleep · 30/08/2010 20:11

simultaneous napping though, yeh, good luck with that! My two have never been simultaneous in anything!

4andnotout · 30/08/2010 20:11

I have a 13 month gap between dd3 and dd4 and it worked out to be the easiest gap of thr lot as you are already in baby mode so nappies, sleepless nights and carrying loads of baby paraphanilia isn't a huge adjustment. Also has they get older they are fairly close in development stages and it's easier to entertain both than say a 10yo and a 4yo.
Congratulations :)

CakeandRoses · 30/08/2010 20:11

Congratulations from me too

I'm one month into having 2 under 2 and it's going pretty well so far.

DS (22 months) ADORES his little sister, can't stop kissing and wanting to cuddle her. Asks for her nonstop if she's in another room.

I came up with lots of coping strategies whilst I was pg, e.g. toys that DS could do whilst I'm bf DD, getting DS more independent at stuff like getting down the stairs himself.

Totally agree that you need a double buggy too. We got a Baby Jogger Mini City and love it.

Oh and I had a c-sec too and this month still wasn't too bad!

Friends who've had this age gap with their DC said the first year can be tough but after that it's brilliant because the DC can play and entertain themselves and they're going thru similar stages at the same time.

Good luck! I'm sure you'll prove your mother wrong.

spiritmum · 30/08/2010 20:16

Congratulations!

I found going from 0 to 1 like I'd been hit by a bus, but going from 1 to 2 was an absolute breeze. Loved every minute of it. No jealousy at all (my eldest is a dd, too) and it was a really beautiful time.

It did get tricky to find things to occupy a 1 yr old and a 3 yr old together (usually ended up with water play of some kind or going for a walk) but it passes.

And I had another one two years after that!

Loshad · 30/08/2010 20:20

congrats.
never managed the simulataneous napping - v envious of proper parents who got that sorted but just wanted to give you a longer term view on it - my oldest two are 16 and 15 now (18 month gap) and it's still fab - they're really supportive of each other, good mates and get on really well. I was only sad the next 2 took 2.5 years gap each to come along.

abr1de · 30/08/2010 20:24

Yup, a good double buggy. You will need to some long walks. I have twenty months and we were fine. Just keep moving.

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