Talk to me about 2 under 2 please.

[pissedrightoff]

Had a positive pregnancy test today, DD is just 13 months old.
Thought we would start trying last month as took us a while to get pregnant with DD after an ectopic pregnancy. And lo and behold...BFP.

We are very happy but did think it would take a LOT longer than this, so DD will only be around 22/23 months old when new baby arrives (all being well)

My Mother did not even say congratulations when I spoke to her earlier, just started going on about how I'd NEVER cope with 2 under 2 etc etc.(lovely,supportive Mother I have)

So can any other parents who have a similar age gap between their children give me any hints/tips/reassurance/cheering up.

Pissedrightoff, Congratulations !
Fwiw, I had a similar situation as you, only I also had an older boy who had just gone 2 as well as ds2 who was 6mo at the time I got pregnant! When ds3 was born, I had 3 under 3, and ds1 was just beginning to show us how his autism was going to affect him...
My mum cried when I told her about the 3rd, and my doctor looked very serious and asked me what I wanted to do about it!
Tbh, the times when ds1 goes to mum's and we have just the 2 littlies are the best. They get on well together and have very similar needs and interests.
My advise for the early days is to get a sling and keep baby in it as much as you can. That way, you can always see to dd when you need to, and baby will be comfy next to you. It helps with naps at school run time as well. I had a selection (!) of wrap slings and was able to carry and even bf ds3 most of the day comfortably by changing positions throughout the day.
Oh! and don't bother trying to get dd out of nappies before the baby comes-nappies contain everything, so you won't always be having to be wiping her bum/mopping up accidents as well as everything else!
Good luck Pissedrightoff, you'll be fine!

congratulations!!! It is a lovely age gap, our twins were 21mths when dc4 was born so had 3 under 2. You will cope honestly .

Congratulations! We have a 14 month gap here (now 17mo and 3mo). It's going pretty well at the moment but it helps that DD2 is the world's easiest baby so she fits in with what DD1 is doing. We have put them in a bedroom together and put them to bed at the same time which is the main routine they have.

The one piece of advice I got was from on here (though my mother confirmed it) - don't forget that your older child is still a baby too.

Congratulations! My dds have a 21 month gap between them and most days I really enjoy it. (currently 10mo and 2.8) My absolute best buy was a sleepy wrap sling. I wore DD2 in it from the second day she was born and pretty much carried on as normal with DD1, with two free hands. So I didn't ever purchase a double buggy, but I did get a buggy board eventually.

We have 13 months between our DDS.
They are now the best of friends and thick as thieves.

I found that a swing really helped as you need a pair of hands occasionally.

Try and do as much as possible with DC1 now before you have to share your time, like playgroups, trips out and quiet time reading etc.

Thank you sooo much everyone.
Am feeling much more positive now, Damn my Mother for making me feel that way (she is a past master at it though)

Am away to start looking at slings, think DC2 will live in one for the first few weeks.Not buying anything yet as obviously still very early days but can't help getting excited, thinking of names etc.

Whoo hoo!!!!

My friend has 3 under 19 months - 18 month old twins, and another who is a month old. All boys, all adore each other. At 18 months the twins are pretty good at sleeping and eating and entertaining each other. Her husband was made redundant, which helps her at home. She does have a great deal of nappies though! She copes fine and is delighted at her large "instant" family!

I have a 15 month gap. When I was walking around heavily pregnant and carrying a baby I met one woman (who I never saw again) who gave me some good advice. She said, get him (existing child) to do as much as he can for himself, within reason, before you deliver - like climbing the stairs, feeding himself, small things which will make a difference when you have a newborn in your arms. She was right and even though he was very very little when his sister arrived he DID do things to help me, like fetch a nappy etc.

I remember worrying about the gap / coping much more than it actually being a worry once it happened. You sort of muddle through and so do they. Congratulations too, and remember that when they're 2 and 3 and 3 and 4 they may well be playing together happily much of the day.

Ooh, yes, animosity, my hv gave me very similar advice, even down to arranging things so that dd1 could step up to the changing table without me needing to lift her.

You'll be fine! mine are 17 months apart & it is great, they really love each other which is so cute to see.
Definitely agree about get a double buggy it just makes life much easier, and the simultaneous napping. my other tip is always that its much easier if you get out the house a lot, keep the toddler busy & baby can just tag along.
Did your mum have 2 under 2 herself? Just wondering, sometimes those with bigger age gaps falsely think it will be impossible to cope because they dont know (for eg my mil about 8 yrs between each dc was saying you will not cope with two babies, will have to keep the older one with me every day... err no!)

Mine weren't quite 2 under 2 as it is 2 years 5 days, but you definitely need a double buggy. DS wasn't out of the nappy stage so it was just a continuation.
We had a bit of a jealousy problem but the worst of it was over in a few weeks.

I always find they napped if I went to sleep, so we would all either sit on the settee or go up on the bed and have a nap together. I will have two teenagers (DS will be 15 and DD 13) in a few weeks time and they are now really good company for each other and get on really well most of the time.

Congratulations!

My 2 have an 18 month gap and I think the positives are:

• DD1 got used to DD2 really quickly
• I was already in the zone of sleepless nights, nappies etc so even though I feel like I've pregnant or with a baby for ever, I think that if I'd "gotten my life back" (does this ever happen?) I would have found it harder to start again
• now that DD2 is 1, they are playing quite a bit together and it's the best thing in the world to watch them. I think with a bigger gap this might have taken longer. They really are best friends and are sooooo happy to see each other in the morning! DD2 copies everything the oldest does which is so cute!
• DD1 was still napping when DD2 was born (and still is some days) so as soon as she went to sleep I could just lie down with the baby and feed her and she would drop off (because they generally do when they are tiny) so I could get an hour's nap during the day

And if it's any consolation the only thing my mum said when I told her was "won't DD1 be jealous?". Didn't even ask me how I'm feeling or anything. And then every time she rang me during my pregnancy she had a story about various friends' older children who reacted quite badly to the younger sibling being born. I ended up in tears after every phone call. What is it with mums being unable to be supportive? Anyway, DD1 was fine, just wanted more cuddles initially which was lovely!

And I recommend getting a double buggy as well. I tried to just use a single buggy with a sling at first but found it quite tiring and hard on my back and got a P&T.

Good luck with it all! I'm sure you'll be fine!

Congratulations!
I've got an 11.5month old and a 17 day old(both boys) so i'm only new to it
I think a huge advantage is the lack of jealousy...my eldest was a bit funny for the first few days but takes the new bub in his stride now and I'm looking forward to seeing them play together
I've pretty much got the simultaneous napping down but my hardest things to deal with are mealtimes/bedtimes - cos they both want attention and trying to catch up on sleep cause there's always something else I feel I should be doing
I'm lucky in someways cause my mother in law liveswith us but that also has disadvantages as she 'helps' but does the wrong thing and doesn't understand I need to learn to deal with them on my own!
Have just started using my sling today and that madelife much easier and am ordering a double buggy online today so we can go out cause I'm getting bad cabin fever!
It is possible though - my granny had 11 surviving children and they managed so 2 should be achievable!

Oh, it's fine, you'll be fine. I enjoyed it so much am doing it again Just don't try to wing it; plan, organise and schedule!

Here's a very unhelpful tip: Make sure DC1 can walk before birth of DC2; mine couldn't and it was a bloody nightmare

LittleSilver, love the walking tip.

I was going to say complete opposite on schedule front though! Im my experience it was best to just go with the flow and try not to worry about routine, guess all children, and mums, are different!

17 months between my two. DD WASN'T walking when DS was born and looking back I think it made it easier actually. She couldn't run away etc. She could get up stairs etc so that was OK but wasn't too independent.

I found it all much easier than I thought it would be when DS was very little. The baby had to fit in around DD really. Luckily he was an angel. Now they are 3 and 20 months it's a different story .

Hi there,

I have 21 months between DD and DS, and am expecting DC3 in November when DS will be 2.5.

From what I remember of 2 under 2 it wasn't terrible - I had them both in nappies, yes, which seemed to most people to be something awful, but I found it straightforward (and I use reusables!) so have no fear of that this time round. I was lucky in that DD was in nursery a couple of days a week - we managed to keep this going while I was on mat. leave for a year - and I really appreciated a bit of time with just the new baby in the week when I could take him to baby groups that DD was a bit old for, or just go to a cafe with a friend and drink tea while breastfeeding! So have a think now about whether a little bit of childcare is affordable/desirable (we also have no family near to help out).

In some ways I think it is easier having a younger toddler and a baby because the toddler is not quite so active as an older one (I have friends now with 4 year olds and new babies and it looks harder to me because the 4 year olds are into everything and have strong opinions and are less distractible).

Definitely second the double buggy/sling recommendations. Would also say not to worry about things like getting the older one into a bed/proper chair etc etc - it made my life easier to have the older one still in a cot/cot bed with sides, and strappable into a high chair or booster, until DS was older. Doesn't seem to have done her any harm being a bit later to move onto these things than some of her friends.

I have a 15 month gap between mine and they are now 6 and 7. There are times when it was hard but I have to say that now, it means that we can do lots of things together as the children are of an age where they will be entertained by the same things (although they could not be more different). They also play a lot together.

The key for me was routine - not the rigid inflexible kind, but having a set structure to the day. As others have said, this meant that naps were at the same time, as was bedtime. I regret having the same bedtime slightly as recently we decided that my older child should be able to stay up a little later than my younger child, but because this was a new thing, it lead to melt-down. With hindsight, I would always have had a 30 min difference in bedtime.

Thanks everyone!

DD has been walking for a few months now, so she's into everything. Am absolutley getting a double buggy, I have an urban detour single at the moment and I love it, so am hoping I can find a double UD.

Still have pretty much all baby equipment so that will be less of a financial worry there.

A new nursery has opened up in the area so am thinking of sending DD there one day a week, get her used to sharing toys and attention.

Nursery is a great idea. My toddler DS goes 2 days a week and it's great for me to be able to spend quality time with DD. Your nursery might suggest two half days rather than one day so it's more often for your DD to get used to it.

One silly thing I didn't think of was to get DS able to go to sleep without us in his room. I've only got him used to that in the last week as the first few weeks of trying to get him down for a nap with DD screaming were hell!

Congrats again! And 22 months is our age gap as well. It was tough in the early days and months but just got easier from there. My eldest was fiercely jealous in the early months but now they are best mates and play together so well all the time. So the age gap now seems perfect (they're 4 and 2 1/2 now)

One of the hardest adjustments was the difficulty in travelling with two vs one. We ended up buying a whole host of travel solutions. We had a single buggy with buggy board, a side by side double, a tandem double, and a sling. They were all needed for different situations. Good luck!

Got 12m 2wks between our 2 DC (both born by c-section). They get on well most of the time, but they certainly have their moments.

DS (1st born) was fascinated with having a new baby around the house, so I roped him into helping me care for DD. He was more then happy to fetch nappies, wipes etc. He was great.

Congratulations

I have 20 months between my two oldest, and whilst the first year was hard, the later years more than makes up for it. As others have said, they are interested in the same things (within reason) and that makes life in general much much easier.

One tip - don't try and potty train DD1 before the baby arrives, nappies are way easier to deal with when you have a LO than a toddler who just HAS to go to the toilet every time you sit down to feed.

Congrats!! I think it's different for everyone and there's no knowing how it will be until it happens. I had a 20 month gap, DD1 couldn't walk (disability not been diagnosed when I got preg with DD2)so needed lots of carrying, but difficult as I had a c section and have no family support whatsoever. DD2 had horrendous reflux, threw up everything abd was in agony, so coulnd't lie down for the first six months. Double buggy didn't even come out of the box until after she was too big for the carrycot attachment. So had to express all feeds in order to thicken them; eventually gave that up at 8 months when I realised she might never grow out of it and be able to BF properly. She only slept a total of 6 hours in any 24 hour period and it was hard, but now she is MUCH better at 12 months and am glad I had them close together. Am looking forward to all the lovely shared experiences as they will hopefully have similar needs an interests as they get a bit older. When they are both relaxing in the double buggy, they are so beautiful and I'm totally smitten - I know it was all worthwhile :)