So how much harder is it having a second child?

[jabberwocky]

Just my ongoing research. Still trying to convince dh we can do it .

Oh, I would love it if bf went better (assuming I get a second chance ). With ds it was a nightmare and I wound up expressing the last 10 months as he got nipple confusion after I went back to work.

DD was only 7.5 months when I became pregnant again. Being in mid-thirties I was glad so that I could have my planned two kids quickly. DD was a dream child, slept all night, no bother at all so stupidly I expected DS to be the same. However he's just a normal baby boy who cried during the night and demanding more from his mum and it was really tough going to begin with as I was constantly b/f (big appetite). I too wondered how I could love another child as much as DD but it happens. Never underestimate the capacity of a mother's love.

I personally have found it tough but that's just because of the way I am - very independent and always liked to be able to do things at the drop of a hat. Those days are long gone but I adore my kids and whilst the first few months have been difficult, we've all turned a corner and DD just adores her baby brother. They are going to be such good pals when they are older.

dd has been easier than ds and really, not much harder than one, but childcare will be ruinously expensive.

As soon as you have 2, the mantra becomes
"How did I ever complain when I had only one child?"

Oh well said fqueenzebra!! (Can't believe I found one hard work!)

And as soon as you have 3 it becomes
"Can't believe I ever complained when I had only two!" ;-P

zeb, my mantra became

"however many you have, if any of them is out for a bit managing the rest is a doddle"

true for 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or, presumably, more

the most significant thing for me has been the weakening (or at any rate the changing) of the bond between me and DD since DS arrived. They often play together happily now, and skip down the road holding hands, and love each other, so that's all fab. But there simply is never the time to connect with DD like I used to be able to. In practical terms, taking care of a baby is much easier when you've done it before, but with No 2 you are doing a whole new thing - taking care of a toddler or older child at the same time as looking after a baby, which is just a different ball game. I never regret having DS, but I do miss the relationship I had with DD before.

8 months pregnant with my second so can only comment on the PREGNANCY!

This pregnancy has been a lot easier however because I haven't suffered from the back/hip problems that I had with my first. I am also on the go a lot more running after my 2 year-old and that's made me more active and I feel a lot healthier because of it. So it's not always the case that the pregnancy will be harder.

First trimester was worse though because I was sick for four months but there was always CBeebies ...

2nd is far easier than the first, but the third is a total nightmare

Haven't found it harder at all with 2. Ds was nearly 4 when Dd was born so maybe thats a factor, he had started nursery so I spent quality time in the mornings with Dd, sometimes I think I should have had a smaller age gap but when I look at them together now chasing each other around and pulling and nipping each other I know it was worth everything they are now 6 and 2 and I want ANOTHER..........

Zebra and JanH - totally agree and I only have 2. The house seems so quiet when either DS or DD are absent. And I always seem to have a spare hand. In fact I feel generally under-occupied. I sometimes wonder what I did with my time before I had DD given that DS was already 3.3 and reasonably self-sufficient. Also wonder how DD and I are going to occupy ourselves once DS goes to school on Friday.