Aaargh - do I DARE have a second child? After reading this book maybe not....

[ScarlettButler]

So I'm expecting my second child and have started reading Three Shoes, One sock and no hairbrush by rebecca adams to try to prepare myself. i like the author's point that we always see media reps of motherhood as one on one which simply doesn't translate to the practicalities of you and a toddler and a baby (have been wondering for some time how am going to combine breastfeeding and potty training realistically)
But about two thirds of the way through reading it now and frankly TERRIFIED. The age gap will be all wrong (only 22 months, author says over 3 yrs is best); second pregnancy ruins your body and pelvic floor; the youngest child is two years old before you get out of any sort of deep slough of despond/mayhem/manageable stress/out of the front door; first child ends up bemused and ignored and unhappy (and as an eldest I fully sympathise with this); money is terrible; haven't even got on to what happens to your marriage

I seem to be in the worst situation because of age gap, easy first baby (therefore potential real shock to the system if next one not so easy); probably different genders....HELP! I feel like I've thrown a nuclear bomb into my family. How did everyone else cope going from 1 to 2 kids? Is it 2013 before I will even get out the front door again? I sound like I'm taking the mick, but am genuinely very worried.

I think the thing that changes,is the mornings take twice as long to organise and teatime routines are hectic.The difficulty I found was having a friend with 1 child,who used to just drop by at meal or bath times to chat,and I really didn't have time.I think you have to make it clear to others that mornings and teatime[evenings ]are now really busy,and speak to others only during the day,when you have time.your not being rude,just practical.
Went on to have 3,which is still insane 8 years later!Oh,and washing seems to double with each extra child.Get a tumble drier,even though its not very enviromentally friendly;I would never have got round to hanging washing on the line.

Just realised this is a really old thread,oops;trying to find out how mums of older children entertain their kids in school holidays.

Throw that book in the bin. Don't charity-shop it, it will only cause someone else misery too. It sounds like something Samantha from Sex and the City would write.

Re. pelvic floor, the only thing that will affect that is if your baby is too big. If you haven't had a problem with the first, you're unlikely to with the second.

Do your pelvic floor exercises, they do help.

20 months sounds like a great gap to me. Mine is 20 months now and if I had a baby now it would be fine as she's really easy at the moment. They will be good companions for each other, whatever the sex.

19 mths between mine, was a complete shock when I got pregnant with dd2, and te forst year or two was manic. But I really would not have it any other way now. The bond between my two dds is incredible.

Don't worry you'll be fine.

P.S. re the body thing - well despite putting on loads of weight with my second pregnancy I did manage to get back to my normal (and pretty tiny) size within a year. I still piss myself whenever I go on the trampoline though so you may be right to be worried about the pelvic floor...

the first - did I sound a bit Irish there?!