Anyone with DC's sharing a double bed?

[NewDKmum]

I read somewhere (can't remember where) that it's supposed to be good for their relationship and all sorts of good arguments.

We are moving house in 3 weeks' time and we are thinking of moving DD1 (4) and DD2 (2.10) in a double bed.

Does anyone have any experiences with this, good or bad? And do you put DC's to bed at the same time. Do they wake each other up? Etc.

Any input will be much appreciated, thanks.

Dont do it.

My HD share a bed with his brother until they were in their 20's and its so bad for their self esteem.

Its wired when they tell their friends and girlfriends.

It makes their mum and dad mean to not get then bunkbeds and that they are wired to do that to their children.

There is no privacy for the children. They can learn to shear without shearing a bed. What if they fight when they get older?

I hated shearing a room with my sister it would be worse shearing a bed.

Please dont do it to them

Thanks for that wanttofly! I can definately see your point.

I hadn't really thought it through to for the long term future, I suppose.

We are moving back to our home country in 2-3 years' time and DD's have separate bed rooms in our house there.

So it was really only for the short term and for them to get a good relationship - they want to sleep in the same room and in the same bed at the moment. But whenever we try to put them to sleep together it all ends up in silliness, laughing and playing and not much sleep!

So I am also curious to know if and how it can be done in a positive way.

I shared with my sister out of choice, we had a double bed and bunk beds in our bedroom, but chose to sleep together in the bottom bunk a lot of the time! Because we chose to do it we must have found it comforting in some way.

However, DS1 and 2 shared a bed last week, and have ended up as miserable boys because of it. DS1 is a very restless fidgety sleeper, so DS2's sleep was adversely affected.

If that's not an issue, I'd have no problem with them sharing, especially at 4 & 2, which are not ideal ages for bunk beds.

i know quite a few people whose small children share a bed and very much like it

mainly from a co-sleeping background, where they have gone on to share with an older sibling once they leave the parental bed

i think it's nice for them, they're secure in the knowledge that someone is there with them

wanttofly's experience is extreme. I don't think many people would force their children to share til they are 20!!! once they express a desire for separate beds that's fine

Ours sort of are at the moment.

They have two Ikea children's beds (the kritter ones) and due to lack of space, the only way their beds can fit into their room is to push them together almost like a double bed. It has been fine so far (dd is 4 and ds is 2). I settle them at a similar time but dd usually falls asleep quite quickly. Ds is at that stage where he is not quite ready to drop the lunchtime nap, but because of that nap he keeps going a bit longer. That usually means playing quietly with some toys and looking through books while dd is asleep and I am working in our room next to the children's room.

We are leaving this flat in Sep and moving back abroad but will probably again be in a small flat for the next few years. I will see how it all goes, maybe when they are a bit older, bunkbeds would be a better idea. Eventually it would be nice if we could afford somewhere where they could each have their own room though, definitely wouldn't be fair to make them share a bed when they are older.

This sort of thing might be a nice idea. It gives them the option then.

Yes - we co-slept as a family of four and the children went into their own room with the 2 beds pushed together earlier this year (and seemed happy enough by it - would not have forced them). Ironically ds (2) sleeps there all night whereas dd (4) still often crawls in next to me in the early hours of the morning.

Think it boils down so much to the children's personalities and what they think.

Mine have done so on holiday for a fortnight at at time and been fine.

As for sharing a room, a lot of people don't really have a choice.

Expat - that's true! But it is amazing how you can really get used to living in quite a small space. I've never lived in a 'proper' house with children and when I visit people who do (like my sister) I almost feel nervous in a weird sort of way (it's nice having everyone and everything on the same level and within earshot regardless of where they are. Makes tidying up much faster too!)

'But it is amazing how you can really get used to living in quite a small space.'

We just spent nearly a week in a small flat with no TV and just the basics.

Were absolutely fine.

Got back yesterday and I've given away about a 1/8 of what we own. My goal is to shed 50% in a month.

Easier to move, easier to tidy.

Definitely - love shedding. It's one of the best feelings in the world when you purge your flat of stuff. Up there with hot crumpets and lashings of butter.

Thanks!

Fourarms - I see what you mean about their sleep possible getting disturbed - I will keep that in mind.

Thisisyesterday - yes, I agree, it should make them feel more secure (hopefully!)

USCOC - I will try to settle them similar to the way you describe - do you stay in the room until your DD is asleep? - if both mine are awake I don't think they will settle on their own tbh

Portia - thanks for the link -love the bed! Haven't looked at the price yet though...

Expat - good point - decluttering is definitely high on my list for this move as well!

Yes I do. Ds seems more self-sufficient than dd so what often happens is I lie next to dd (two beds pushed together handy for this too so I can be diagonal!) and either ds lies in his bit of the bed, or more often than not he just gets up and start playing with something. He plays quite quietly though and dd is usually asleep quite quickly so it doesn't take too long. I then often tell ds I am just going through to our room to work for a bit and he either carries on playing in their room or moves his toy / book through to our room. He will start climbing on my lap as a signal for when he is ready to settle.

But their personalities are very different and it took a while for us to find this rhythm - and it will probably change again at some point in the future!

DS has a double bed to himself and I doubt he'd be impressed if his baby brother eventually shared it with him - we're getting them bunk beds when they are both old enough to share a room. The double on the bottom and single on top.

Personally I wouldn't have them sharing, children do need some space as they grow older.

Thanks!

USCOC - that makes sense. I think ours will be the other way round though. DD1 has given up thumbsucking for good 2 weeks ago and is having a hard time falling asleep without it. I can imagine myself or DH spending most of the evening in the childrens' bedroom in the beginning....

lovechoc - what luxury! At the moment DD's want to share a cot bed that they can barely squeeze into

I think it's lovely that they want to and I'm sure if it doesn't work out you can reasess it.
In principle it's a great idea.

I have a very good friend who is in her 90s now, who always shared a bed with her younger sister until they left home as adults. It was just normal then. I have two DDs of whom she's very fond and she talks with such tenderness about her relationship with her sister and how lovely it was to have each other for company during the night. She and sister were always very close until she died recently. Sadly, when I've tried it with my two they fight or giggle and can't get to sleep but if you can make it work - why not?

New DK mum - how did it go?
My DD1 has a double bed and wants DD2 to sleep with her when she comes out of her cot.
On holiday they had single beds in the same room and were ok.