Learning to drive driving you mad?

[ShowOfHands]

So here it is, a learning to drive thread.

I think there are a few of us. I predict much swearing. Is it only me that goes one step forwards, only to go 8 steps backwards?

I'm SOH, have been learning for the grand total of a fortnight. DH is teaching me. My aim is to be driving by the end of September when dd is supposed to start nursery and they change the driving test again.

I live rurally (very rurally) and rely on dh for lifts everywhere. Even a supermarket trip is reliant upon him being home from work. And as he's a police officer, he's never home on time, works long hours and as a consequence, we're fairly isolated.

I am trying to focus on the new lease of life for us.

I don't have a provisional licence yet (still waiting for it) but live on private land with tracks of about 3 miles so am driving round a farm atm.

I'll kick off the swearing so there's no illusion of standing on ceremony. How the buggery feck do you look in 3 mirrors, one windscreen, at the speedometer and not cry all at the same time? Answers on a postcard.

Don't worry, it can be utterly awful to begin with, as lots of the people on this thread will agree, but it does get better. Keep at it and you will soon be flying down the motorway .

Hi all its been a while since I posted but thought I would pop by.

Sossiges well done on the pass plus, and you will just need to suck it up and get out there alone.

Tiger, have you had your test yet?

I had a lesson today and was told I should book my test! Eek, will need to see if I can afford to book it.

Hi,

Stumbled on this thread while searching google about hating driving so thought I would join in.

I started learning way back in the annuals of time when I was 17, usual story thought I had all the time in the world started work and dropped it, fast forward 21 years and the need to learn to drive is over whelming, locked out of 90% of the job market, picking up and dropping of my youngest at a school miles away and the great british weather.

So back in may this year I found a DI had a few lessons then she announced she was moving down south, so found another one and well after 6 lessons and only driving for 5 minutes at the end of the lesson I decided driving wasn't for me and gave up. After resigning myself to a life of getting wet, I went on my local football teams website in September and came across a DI thread which I read and contacted one of the instructors, he is brilliant had 6 lessons with him so far and from lesson 1 he had me driving on the roads, no pre amble, just a case of ok adjust the seat, 1st gear now go.

I hate driving with a passion in my town we have loads of roundabouts and I tend to want to drive into them, I don't know why I cannot go round them at all, I hardly ever use the brake I just take my foot off the gas and slow down that way, I struggle big time changing to 3rd gear I just can't get it in for some reason, I do corners way to fast, forget which is left and right, forget what gear I'm in the list is endless.

But my DI is on about putting me in for my test sometime in December, he says I need to increase my road time so my DH keeps asking me to drive to places, the day before I'm like 'yeah, ok I'll drive' but then use every excuse in the book not to do it, it's like I have this mental block thats stopping me from getting in the car and going, the thing is I have drove my DH car on roads and did fine, I just can't get my self to do it again.

Does anyone else have this mental block, starting to think I might need hypnosis to get over this.

Hi Trinn your backstory sounds just like mine, down to the starting at 17 and then giving up for years. You actually sound as if you're doing well since you've only had what - 6 lessons with your new instructor? Maybe you just need to relax more and try doing things more slowly? That was my biggest problem, I did everything too fast, didn't have time to do what I should have and then panicked. I really had to work on calming down, doing everything earlier and more slowly and on test day it fell into place.

I hated at least the first 15-20 lessons and had to force myself not to cancel every week, I dreaded it but I really wanted to be able to drive. The turning point was when my instructor turned up with a different car one week (his was in the garage) and it was brand new and a dream to drive. The gear box was perfect, smooth as silk. Everything went right! After that lesson, it wasn't so bad, and I started looking forward more to lessons, then it went one good lesson, one bad lesson for a while, then it kind of evened out and I started enjoying driving more than disliking it. You will get there too.

Hi, Sossiges,

I to have to force myself not to cancel my lessons and know in the long run this will liberating, thing is I'm fighting my natural instinct as to when to turn the wheel, change gear, one thing I don't understand is, is it brake then clutch down as I want to, or clutch down then brake as my instructor says? and feel like I should wait until my instructor tells me to do something, at least I'm not as bad as I was with nerves my god I was shocking, I would get amnesia and forget my own name, I have been known to let go of the wheel when faced with on coming traffic, my legs used to goto jelly and I would forget completley wth I was doing.

At the moment everything feels to fast if you see what I mean, it's like set off, now go to 2nd, now to third, drop to second or first and I'm thinking 'do what?' but I can drive perfectly well without instructions well I did in my one and only drive in DH's car.

Oh and when does this driving malarky get fun? as everyone tells me it's fun atm it feels like a nightmare.

Imflabulous I "sucked it up" and went out for a drive yesterday, I actually found it easier driving on my own. I did a 3 point turn and two reverse parks (not very polished but didn't hit anything) so was very pleased.

Have you booked your test yet?

Tiger where are you? Any joy?

I found all the being told what to do & when to do it horribly confusing at first ("how can I concentrate when you keep jabbering at me?!") and even now I more or less know what I'm doing I still find it a bit distracting when my DH does it. After a while, you'll find you're doing more and more on your own without having to be told, then there'll be less instructions and it'll be less distracting. One day there'll be a lesson when you think "he's quiet today" and you'll just be getting on and driving without being told to do every little thing. It's much easier from then on. It is soooooo hard in the beginning (it really is a nightmare) but you just have to persevere.

I was taught to brake and then clutch down just before the car judders (or stalls). If you brake with the clutch down at the same time you are reducing your braking power i.e. your brakes are less effective and will slow you down less quickly. Regarding turning the wheel, I did find that turning the wheel a fraction before I thought I should on a bend, gives a better, smoother line through the curve.

Books I found very helpful were "Driving - the essential skills (DSA)" and "Passing your Practical Driving Test (David Barker)". The 2pass.co.uk site and forum were (still are) full of useful info, definitely worth a look.

I think it gets to be fun about two years after you've passed your test though I did enjoy my first (short) solo drive yesterday.

well done on your first solo drive, bet you loved it.

I'm on the 2pass forum and write a little blog, my instructor has gone from 'go into 2nd' to 'change gear' my next lesson is on Wednesday

Just got back from a lesson, and now he's taking me through the show me tell questions and want's to change to 2 hours instead of 1 hour lessons twice a week, saying that way we can go over the test routes Why???? I'm no where near test standard only had about 7 lessons I do not want to go anywhere near the fecking test routes, I can only just drive down my bloody road without careening into on coming traffic.

Oh and the shaking is back with avegenance, shaking like a leaf now and he wants me to drive 2 hours non stop, not gonna happen pal. Not to mention I keep getting cramp in my right leg and cramp in my left foot when driving.

Got another lesson on Friday going to look under the bonnet yay thought thats what mechanics where for?

hi everyone.......I am 36 and dread practicing with DH as he is a very expert driver and gets very stressed with my crap driving skills.................practice sessions with him mostly end up in hot arguments :( .......taking test in mid november and just praying for my luck :)

Sossiges well done in going out on your own! My test is booked for 3 weeks time so getting nervous.

Happy and trin, I don't go out with dh as I don't like it and he makes me nervous so I go out with mil.

good luck with your tests.

My DH is brilliant with my driving, I drove him round our town and no arguments at all, it's me thats stopping me doing practice

Just back from a lesson, only 2 more and the 3rd will be just before test! Eek.

I always almost talk myself out of going out with dh or mil as aprehensive but I'm fine once I'm out.

I'm off to buy some kalms now! Lol

I doubt you will need kalms, treat it like a lesson will your instructor be going with you on the test? I can't figure out if thats a good or a bad thing

Don't think so? I need to keep practicing my manoovers tho.

Trinn I started doing test routes about the same time as you are now, its just so your used to them all so when you do your test you will know the roads and be more prepaired, although I don't know why you need a 2hr lessons? I never have, also test is only 40mins long.

Imflabulous, my instructor said to suck a sweet on test as it stops your mouth from drying up and you from feeling nervous. I think it works, too.

Trinn are you far from the test centre? I live about 30 mins away from ours, so always had 1.5-2 hr lessons to have enough time to get used to the area. On the other hand if you don't live far from the test centre, maybe your instructor is just thinking that 2hr lessons would be more convenient (for him)? Re: show me/tell me under the bonnet lark - my instructor took about 15 mins to show me where the oil/coolant/brake fluid things were on the lesson before my test and told me to look up the questions and revise them myself - easily done a couple of days before the test, so nowt to worry about there.

Lucky you with your calm DH, mine is more like happysingh's (easily wound up at my pisspoor driving) and I felt pretty stressed every time I went out for practice with him (only went about 3 times, and each time ended up more nervous than before!) whereas my instructor was pretty unflappable (seen it all before, I suppose )

Hi happysingh!

I live about 15-20 mins from the test town, he also said sometimes they use a few routes from my town, I don't know the test town at all no reason to visit going to ask him tomorrow on my lesson about why he wants me to have 2 hour lessons.

Re DH he is always willing to take me out and I always say 'yup, we can go here, here or here' (I live in lancashire so plenty of towns nearby) fast forward to the next day I'm using every excuse I can to get out of it. He is very patient I took us for a drive a few weeks ago started off on an industrial estate (for some reason if I start off on an industrial estate I can drive anywhere, but not from outside my house) and decided to go for a drive, off I set up to a very busy junction and got into the fast flowing traffic with no problems, drove through a park where I'll be doing the school drop off, out onto country raods, past roadworks, onto a national speed limit road scared myself when I hit 70mph, then came home, only had a few slip ups, stalled twice but that was because some jerk came flying out of a junction opposite some roadworks and I had to slam on, and messed 3rd gear up a few times but apart from that it went fine. He did start off with his hand on the handbrake but by the end he was very relaxed in the passenger seat.

mmmmm just had a thought maybe I start off on industrial estates to get my confidence up? might be because I just decide to go, I dunno

does anyone have a problem getting into 3rd gear? I have to think in my head neutral then slowly up, works sometimes but others not, and roundabouts how the hell doyou do them? I seem to want to crash into them, my DI says I over steer no shit sherlock thats why you have to grab the wheel.

Tomorrow is under the bonnet I know all the show me / tell me questions and I know whats under the bonnet, I really really need to pass this year, more for my son than anything else he's now in secondary school and it's not cool for his mum to pick him up and drop him off (he is autistic so not safe to walk to school on his own).

Why is the shit so hard? passed the theory no problem, oh and my DI is forever on the brake if anything my DH is more laid back than my DI

When you say getting into 3rd - do you mean you forget where it is? or it's physically hard to get the gear lever into 3rd? And what's all this about crashing into roundabouts??

I know where 3rd is but can;t get into it always end up in 1st or 5th as for roundabouts I don't crash into them but would do if my DI didn't sort my steering out I go way to close to them and nearly crash

Sossiges, good tip on sucking on a sweet, will remember that.

Trinn i think I know what you mean about 3rd gear, you know where it is but sometimes just not able to get there? I had thus problem esp in our car, try sitting in the car just practicing the gears, I think my problem was over thinking it gettin tense and it just not happening. It vastly improved the more I relaxed. Do you think that might help?

I have only gone over a few show me tell me things, so need to ask about that.

trinn you could actually do neutral and then up, nothing bad will happen . My instructor encouraged me to do this to make sure I got the right gear and it does make for a smoother gear change.
Don't worry about the roundabouts, you'll get the hang of steering, having said that on my last lesson, I nearly went into a bus on a roundabout and on my pass plus I was all over the place on this one big roundabout and had to have steering assistance

Just back from a disasterous lesson, doesn't help that I got up an hour before the lesson (note to self never do that again), honestly what is it about a big L board on cars that make other motorists pull out on you? a few times I had to slam on because someone pulled out, nearly knocked a bloke down, his own fault he was texting or something so wasn't looking where he was going

My DI was very quiet this lesson and I'm thinking 'arggggg what the fuck do I do now?' with mucho panicking, did a few roundbouts and didn't steer into one for once

Next lesson is next friday thak christ don't think I could cope with anouther one until then, nerves are shot. Oh on the 2 hour lesson booked it for the week after, he wants me to do the test routes and let me drive more independantly, he also said he hasn't had a fail since March this year no pressure then.

hehe my DS just asked 'so mum now you can drive you can take me to the ASD club' he thinks the lessons are the driving test I wish.

forgot to say thats what I do for 3rd go into neutral then push it up, I panic and it ends up in 1st or 5th I think my gear changes are to aggresive as in I force the gear stick will have to work on being more lady like with it.