Learning to drive driving you mad?

[ShowOfHands]

So here it is, a learning to drive thread.

I think there are a few of us. I predict much swearing. Is it only me that goes one step forwards, only to go 8 steps backwards?

I'm SOH, have been learning for the grand total of a fortnight. DH is teaching me. My aim is to be driving by the end of September when dd is supposed to start nursery and they change the driving test again.

I live rurally (very rurally) and rely on dh for lifts everywhere. Even a supermarket trip is reliant upon him being home from work. And as he's a police officer, he's never home on time, works long hours and as a consequence, we're fairly isolated.

I am trying to focus on the new lease of life for us.

I don't have a provisional licence yet (still waiting for it) but live on private land with tracks of about 3 miles so am driving round a farm atm.

I'll kick off the swearing so there's no illusion of standing on ceremony. How the buggery feck do you look in 3 mirrors, one windscreen, at the speedometer and not cry all at the same time? Answers on a postcard.

Anyway, lesson tomorrow, will see how it goes...

Hi thought id come say hi this morning..been having lessond for a year albeit not very successfully. Nice to see a thread with other learners on it.

Don't worry trikken we'll get there in the end. I also live in the back of beyond so need to learn to drive if I'm not going to be stuck in the house for the next 50 years. I've been learning since January, so 8 months now, but this is my second time around, having taken 3 tests and failed at 17/18 (donkey's years ago). Not giving up this time though!

Sossiges you shouldvsee (or maybe not...) the massive arguments me and DH have at times when he is supervising me drive. In fact for my own sanity, and his, and our marriage, I had to fork out money for my instructor to supervise me even though I don't really get taught any new stuff by him these days and he seems like he thinks I don't need him and can just do it myself. I don't care... once he's ready to give me lessons again, I will have him because its always nicer driving with my instructor than my nervous husband lol...

I don't think husband and wife make a good driving teacher and student team... except in rare cases where the husband has extraordinary patience. Some do. Mine doesn't.

Also learning to drive is particularly stressful and if it's someone close to you it just feels like criticism, with an instructor it's different. It's a different dynamic. The dual controls are great, too!

Lesson went well last night, need to stop speeding, check mirrors more, go slower on manoeuvres and practise hill starts - apart from that not too bad (!). I feel a leetle bit more confident about looming test. Roundabouts were much better, didn't fluff any this time! Don't have any really big/busy ones here though. We passed the test centre so went in to practise bay park OMG what a disaster, 3 attempts it took...as soon as I get one thing right, I start hashing up other things - bay park used to be ok, hahaha.
Have just bought DSA Essential Skills book (can't remember title offhand) so hoping that will help - when in doubt, buy a book!

You are the opposite of me sossiges. I need to speed up on the road and speed up my manouvers. And I'm too hesitant.

Hi Trikken. Speeding up is a matter of experience and confidence imo.. I have the same problem sometimes even though I have been having lessons for just over a year. I find that if I feel like I'm being hurried - either by drivers tailgating or overtaking me, or by an impatient instructor or husband, I feel a bit more anxious and speed up but then feel quite reckless doing so. My whole point is that if I feel reckless, then I am not driving safely, and maybe my ability to drive in the way expected of someone who is able to drive independently on the roads still has room for improvement. I have taken two tests so far, flunked them both on speed related issues as well. The first one was with a tanned, slim, well-dressed, made up lady examiner and she flunked me for driving too fast around a corner (I was trying to keep "up to speed" with the other drivers, but obviously the examiner felt I was going out of control). Also she asked me to reverse parallel park and I hit the kerb on that one so definite fail. The second test, it was with a middle aged geezer and I failed because he thought I should have driven faster. I was more cautious on my second test because I didn't want to get done by speeding inappropriately again.

The thing is, I think with the speed thing, it takes practice and judgment and I might still be struggling with it. My husband told me to tailor my driving according to the type of person testing me on the day. If it looks like "someone who has been driving buses and trucks for a living" then I should avoid being overly cautious and try to drive faster (in comparison to my usual) but still staying within speed limits and according to situation. If it looks like a "nicely dresssed, neat, groomed, a lady or not like a geezer type" then I should drive more cautiously and not try to hurry on too much... hmm I have yet to test out his "theory" but my next test is in October so will be interesting to see who will be testing me.

Oh I get told off for hesitating as well! especially at roundabouts [eyeroll]. My problem (apparently) is I do everything too fast (you should see me washing up - water everywhere!) and driving is just the same. Speeding is a definite fail, though, so I have try and curb that. Sometimes I go too fast for the road (lack of judgement and practise, like tiger says) sometimes it's just a couple of mph over (lack of acceleration sense). I read somewhere that hesitation is mostly because one has difficulty in judging the speed/distance of approaching vehicles, but that this is something that can only be improved by practise. I tend to hesitate at roundabout because I can't predict what other drivers are doing, again more practise needed.

My instructor tells me to do the manoeuvres as slowly as possible - sometimes I'm reversing at the pace of a wounded slug and he's going "slower, slower!" (what? stationary?) - because then there's plenty of time to correct, do checks etc.

I think with manouvres, especially the reverse parking ones,should definitely be done slow as poss. My instructor says the same. And if you ever tried to reverse into a bay or any sort of trickier reversing turn manouvre you will notice that the speed at which you go can affect the trajectory of your car. Reversing speed makes a huge difference to how you will end up in position. At least that's what I've realised... unless you are experienced and skilled enough to adjust your steering adequately to compensate for the reversing speed. ...however I think the emergency stop is one manouvre you absolutely have to do split second fast without hesitation.

By the way I am always hoping they would test me on emergency stop lol... but they never do. Haha... I read somewhere most women fail their tests on reverse parking... I know for myself, reverse parking is something I am not yet feeling 100% about even though most times I manage it fine - i.e. it's the sort of thing that sometimes throws me even though I've done it fine before. It's my spacial awareness I think.

Also I go too fast because I am nervous, every lesson we talk about needing to do things S-L-O-W-L-Y so there's time to do it properly i.e. check mirrors, slow down, get into gear, observe situation & go. When I started I would go too fast, rush into the junction then try and brake, check mirrors, get into gear and observe all at the same time (which isn't possible [until you've had aeons of experience]) then get flustered, forget what I was doing, stall (whilst getting told off for not doing what I should have done), and it would all go downhill from there and end up with me crying. I'm still nervous, but not so much and with practise I'm starting to automatically do things (so much easier than thinking about it all). I think however long it takes, there is a point where it all starts to "gel" and becomes easier. I'm starting to get to that point.

Clutch control not automatic yet though, I still have to think about it, why is it so bloomin' difficult?!

Reverse parking sometimes is fine and sometimes is all over the place

I cried my last lesson. I don't want to even think about how I'm going to get back in the car with him after that, I properly wailed. On the upside I did a perfect turn in the road even though he said after he'd told me to do a parallel park, how could I have gotten that wrong?!

Ha, I cried on my first lesson! And most lessons after that, too. Luckily my instructor has tissues in his car, though once he didn't and I had to wipe my snotty nose on my arm (short sleeves ). Still, he's been teaching driving for a long time so I'm sure he's seen it all. Still have the odd tear when the stress gets too much, but getting better
Had an argument with my instructor because I could have sworn he said "go straight ahead at the roundabout" and he said "no, I said second exit" and I said "no, you didn't" and this went on for at least a couple of minutes as we were stopped in the RH lane. I still say he said "straight ahead"

I got confused and stopped because there isn't a "straight ahead" on that roundabout. Hence the argument.

Congrats on your perfect turn in the road, mine are only just passable

trikken what do you think your main problem is? (Going on from your thread) The wrong instructor? Nerves? The fact that it takes so long? Money?

Sorry if you think I'm being nosey but maybe we can be of some assistance (blithely offers up tiger's help)

partly nerves. I do get nervous and then do one thing wrong and everything else goes to pot after that.

The instructor doesn't help, he is quite 'lad'ish and I probably wouldn't have picked him if any one else that I could have afforded was available.

My old instructor used to tell me I had a mental block that I had to work through.

Mill wants me to consider giving up my lessons and buy a really cheap car that has six months mot and just practice with family for six months or so to give me more practice, then start up the lessons again when I feel ready.

Might be ok if your MIL pays for it! Really cheap car usually means "on it's last gasp", then there's insurance , also practice with family is fine if you have someone very brave and patient to practise with, otherwise will probably have the opposite effect. I have had "lessons" from various members of my family at different times, but it never worked out, they were all either too nervous or too shouty
I pay £22/hour for my instructor, there are cheaper instructors in my area, but I really think you get what you pay for, also with someone you're working so closely with, you need to get on reasonably well. If there are more instructors in your area, why not book a trial lesson with some different ones? If your current instructor doesn't "know what to with you" then find one who does. Even though you're nervous, I don't think it's "your" problem as such, since the right instructor will know how to treat you (and teach you) to minimise your nerves. I think the only pupil who is hard to teach is one who doesn't want to learn and you obviously do, so I find it a bit sad that you're struggling so much. Not "sad" but IYKWIM
One idea maybe: you could post on here (Ask The Instructor forum), they may give you some reassurance and suggestions about what to do next.

I can't really afford my instructor either, at the moment I'm paying in arrears! I have had to ebay stuff all of a sudden to pay for a weeks lesson at times.

Must drive though!

Yes you do make a good point about the cheap car. not sure it really is that feasible.

My driving lessons are costing me £24 a lesson and he was the cheapest in my area. The lady I would've liked but who was full was £30 an hour.

£30/hour! and FULL! [picks jaw off floor]

I know. She must be amazing. I wish I got thirty quid per hour at my job!