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Original poster

Learning to drive driving you mad?

999 replies

ShowOfHands · 27/06/2010 07:33

So here it is, a learning to drive thread.

I think there are a few of us. I predict much swearing. Is it only me that goes one step forwards, only to go 8 steps backwards?

I'm SOH, have been learning for the grand total of a fortnight. DH is teaching me. My aim is to be driving by the end of September when dd is supposed to start nursery and they change the driving test again.

I live rurally (very rurally) and rely on dh for lifts everywhere. Even a supermarket trip is reliant upon him being home from work. And as he's a police officer, he's never home on time, works long hours and as a consequence, we're fairly isolated.

I am trying to focus on the new lease of life for us.

I don't have a provisional licence yet (still waiting for it) but live on private land with tracks of about 3 miles so am driving round a farm atm.

I'll kick off the swearing so there's no illusion of standing on ceremony. How the buggery feck do you look in 3 mirrors, one windscreen, at the speedometer and not cry all at the same time? Answers on a postcard.

OP posts:
tigercametotea · 25/08/2012 12:10

Trikken, I've had "lad-ish" instructors before and I hated it. For me personally it's an issue I have with being humiliated when I'm in a "lower" position... like an old-school teacher-student relationship. Perhaps it just brings up memories of my younger days with horrible teachers. I really really hate being taught by someone who sounds like they can't stand what I do, and shows it very blatantly and harshly. To me, a teacher-student relationship should be something built on mutual respect and trust. And with these lad-ish types, well... I think the ones I've met at least, do not really try to stay within those boundaries. I've once sacked a really sweary, irate middle aged instructor after just 6 lessons. I decided enough's enough. I wasn't paying him to have a go at me for a whole hour each time and making me feel shit.

If you are in the beginning stages of learning, or are just plain feeling low about your ability to drive without guidance, then I would strongly suggest chopping and changing instructors until you find the one who is most encouraging and gentle with you. I don't mean getting one who lets you get away with murder, but just someone who is more tactful and gentle with the way they word their criticism.

With my current instructor, what I find great about him is he seldom criticises or goes on about a mistake I made whilst I am driving. Especially if it's a serious mistake. He always will wait for a good place to ask me to pull up along the road, then will take time to calmly explain to me what I did and what was wrong or dangerous about it, and what he thought I should have done. He never ever shouts or shows stress. This is very helpful to me, because I know that him shouting and stressing at me for some mistake whilst I am driving and trying to concentrate is NOT good at all. It creates resentment and can affect the quality of your driving and what you get out of the lesson.

If you get to a certain level of confidence about your abilities though, then maybe you won't mind a more stressy sort of instructor. Not that a stressy sort would not help you at all and I know people who have passed despite going through hell to learn driving with this type of instructor. But my feeling is, I don't have to put myself through this unless I desperately need to drive where I'm living. Where I live now is not too bad with public transport. It depends on how badly you need the license and your situation.

I think your MIL's suggestion is great and if that option had been offered to me, I would take it up straight away lol

Also if eventually you can get an instructor who is happy to teach you in your own car, do it. I now pay half of usual lesson prices after negotiating with my instructor to teach me in my own car rather than use the driving school's car.

Hope it all goes well for you in the end.

tigercametotea · 25/08/2012 12:13

And £30 an hr is just excessive! She had better guarantee a pass lol. Is there really no other lady instructors you can go with in your area?

Pomegranate · 28/08/2012 18:47

So glad stumbled on this thread.

Have been learning to drive for about two and a half years' now. STill crap at it. Had to change driving instructors, because my original instructor, didn't instill much faith in me.

Got a lovely lady instructor, and what a difference, she tells me that i am actually quite good, but, it will take me a long time to get my confidence going again.

Hope and against hope that i do eventually pass, spent an absolute fortune on driving already.

trikken · 28/08/2012 23:03

Hi pomegranate, glad you have found a nice instructor. I still have one that doesn't instil much confidence.

I have a lesson at nine thirty tomorrow so that will be interesting.

Sossiges · 29/08/2012 00:42

Hi Pomegranate
Hi trikken good luck with lesson tomorrow

Pomegranate · 29/08/2012 11:10

Trikken

Aww, sorry about your instructor, would you not consider changing, if they are not much good. it is your money after all, why waste on somebody that is not helpful.

I am glad i did, because i truly wasted my money on him, i hated all the sighs, moans, etc., from him.

I do really need to learn, if only for my 5 children to take them places, i am sick and tired of public transport, especially strange looks we get when we all go out together.

Hope your lesson went well today.Thanks

bronze · 29/08/2012 11:22

I just wrote the longest message and it said sorry not available now. So am marking place to post later on pc

Sossiges · 29/08/2012 11:28

bronze come back! They're back from the pub!

bronze · 29/08/2012 11:31

I'm here
Just 'borrowed' dh's iPad

bronze · 29/08/2012 11:44

I first started learning 7 years ago and then dd decided to be born prem.
I started again over a year ago and have been having lessons on and off since then. Sometimes I have to take a break because I can't afford it and sometimes it's because dh is away so have no one to have a children so it hasn't been solid since then. I have a weekly lesson on a Saturday morning so dh can have the kids. I have a lovely instructor this time and now actually pay a bit extra for him to come to me as I have moved. Before the holidays I did have a couple of lessons with ds3 in the back but haven't had any lessons during the holidays. Ds3 starts play group in September so hope to have lessons then.

I'm doing ok, I'm slower and more nervous than I would have been at 17 but it's getting there albeit slowly and more expensively. I actually prefer doing manoeuvres as I can take my time and think. Roundabouts are my worst thing.
I did take my theory first time round and failed by one point on the hazard perception section. It doesn't seem to have any consistency to my fairly logical mind. My instructor wants me to take it again and has been nagging for a while. I think he then wants to intensively train me topass the test rather than teaching me to drive as he has so far. Im holding back though as I hate tests, hence stopping at gcses, and I fall apart. I'm worried if I fail then it will impact on my confidence hugely.

I need to do this though. Dh currently drives miles to workamd then has to go the other way for our eldests school run. Also I've only ever met my dds teacher once as she gets taxied in and I can't get there. I feel like letting them down as they need swimming lessons etc and I can't get them there currently. I WILL do this

Sossiges · 29/08/2012 12:18

Hazard perception is a funny thing - you have to do it the DSA way, i.e when they think you should spot the hazard even if you saw it ages before then. What helped me enormously was theory test/HP software and practising with that every night, it really helped me to hit "the window", otherwise I doubt I would have passed.
I think a lot of the fact that it takes so long to learn is lesson frequency, like most on here, I can (just about) afford a lesson a week, just think how much faster we'd come on with 2/3 lessons a week!

I have my practical test on Tuesday, although my instructor thinks I have a good chance of passing, I don't think I will, so I'm rather resigned to failing (again)! Not a very positive attitude, but I have gone in before thinking I'd pass (at 17!) and it was a huge let down when I didn't, this time I'm looking on it as experience. I'm still bricking it though!

Sossiges · 29/08/2012 12:19

Come on trikken, how was your lesson? Tell all

greencolorpack · 29/08/2012 12:25

Driving instructors don't really make 30 quid an hour, its not pure profit, a lot of the money goes on petrol, franchise fees, car lease fees, insurance etc etc.

trikken · 29/08/2012 12:33

Oh sorry. The kids distracted me. It went a whole lot better today, still made a few mistakea but felt more confident.we just did basic driving around without any manouvers as he thought it might build up my confidence.

Sossiges · 29/08/2012 14:12

greencolorpack it's ok, I know it's not pure profit Grin, it just seems a lot to pay per hour. Round my way, the most expensive is £22 p/hour and it's hard enough to afford that sometimes. I do think you get what you pay for though so an instructor charging £30 p/h who is also booked up, must be PDG.

Sossiges · 29/08/2012 14:13

Glad it went ok.

Sossiges · 29/08/2012 14:15

Have you thought any more about changing instructor or are you feeling happier with the one you've got?

MissMogwi · 29/08/2012 14:58

Hi

I've been learning since Feb 2011, but had two big breaks of 3/4 months due to the instructors leaving and/or finances.

It took me ages to get my confidence up and then with each break, when I returned to driving it was a new car, new instructor and starting again.

I was hoping to put in for my test soon but I've missed three lessons lately due to instructor on hols and my DD being ill. As I have no access to a car other than the lesson it's a slow process!

If I'm honest I'm pissed off with itGrin. I have the manoeuvres down and basic driving but roundabouts scare the shit out of me. It's the only thing holding me back according to my instructor. I know the procedure it's just all the cars whizzing round.

I do enjoy driving and the benefits of having a car will be wonderful but it's taking me ages!

Rant over.

greencolorpack · 29/08/2012 15:26

Cool sossiges. :). 22 is about the same where I am too.

tigercametotea · 29/08/2012 17:24

Missmogwi you will get there in the end. Just more practice and... something like chewing gum, rescue remedy, etc. To calm your nerves.

MissMogwi · 30/08/2012 10:17

Thanks. I already do the chewing gum and I plan to have a bath in rescue remedy before my test.

I've got to a point now where I can see the light but it makes it worse IYSWIM as when I'm standing at a bus stop in the rain with moaning kids, I think 'why can't I feckin drive yet' Angry Grin

tigercametotea · 30/08/2012 10:26

Haha same here. Was even worse once when an old lady demanded my 9 ye old daughter give up her seat for her after we had been walking for hours before the journey. I just thought... wouldn't it be great to have our own transport?

Sossiges · 30/08/2012 14:14

Bath in rescue remedy Grin

Sossiges · 30/08/2012 14:14

Hi tiger, how's it going? Are you getting any practise in?

tigercametotea · 30/08/2012 15:11

I haven't really. Not much. I drove the family to Frankie and Benny's last Thursday for a meal and it was about 20 mins journey each way. Tomorrow my husband wants me to drive us all to Chester Ice Cream Farm for a trip... that's about half an hour away maybe a bit more... I don't think it's a good idea as we have never been there before although the area's not new to us. Just a bit worried something will happen... but I know the whole idea of passing a driving test is that I would be good enough to drive anywhere on my own, even places I don't know. Maybe I will study Google Maps tonight for the journey...