DP possibly getting moved back down south - help!

[piffle]

We moved to Lincs from Hants last year, basically for Grammar School for talented DS, for better standard of living (cheaper bigger houses, less folks around - rural loveliness closer to family etc etc)
Dp got a promotion before we moved and it has proved to be a little disappointing for him.
The company got bought out by a HUGE famous (but ethically/morally awful) US company, and dp has been invited to design and business plan an innovative multi squllion £ technology centre...
Back in Surrey
He could tell them he says no and risk marginalising his career which he feels is not where he wants it atm anyway.
It could mean him being away 2-3 nights a week or worse it could require him to move back to Surrey - I am desperately opposed to moving back, but would not want to sacrifice his career or our good relationship being narrow minded.
To buy a house like the one we have now would cost best part of twice the price £400k in Surrey and to get the schooling level for DS would mean going private - not even doubling dps pay would enable us to afford this.
If he quit the company he would likely not get his current wage in this area and we would need to seriously consider down sizing (which I have offered up willingly as an alternative to moving down south again)
Am getting really worried.... I am so happy here..
Any experience or advice out there?

please anybody out there?

Could you not compromise with the 2-3 nights away a week? For me I think I'd have to live with that, much as I'd hate it. Moving back to Surrey sounds like a nightmare for all the reasons you mention and it could make you desperately unhappy.

Do you know that the few nights away are an option? If so, that's what I'd go for.

2-3 nights would be ok IF he gets that choice, he may have no choice, which is my greatest concern.
When we were living in Hants/Surrey we scanned a number of areas that we could afford to buy a 3 bed house or better in, within commute of dp's head office (Farnham) and the only areas we could find had pretty awful schools - as you would expect.
Ds is just very clever basically and excels at school esp maths ans science and now he has his teeth into music and has picked up an awful lot self taught surprising a lot including his muso dad - we had thought he'd missed the boat here.
Also taking into account dd's "possible future special needs" she has settled into pre school and speech therapy etc.
It's very much a case of crossing the bridge when it comes to it, but dp needs to know what we can cope with and I do not think moving down south would benefit us at all.
Infact last night we said if a move was forced, ie: in that turning down the new work means he could lose his current job or equally annihilate his career in one fell swoop, we would reconsider New Zealand again.