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How do I dispose of the corpse (I'm desperate)

117 replies

BearintheBigBlueHouse · 08/08/2005 13:51

How do I dispose of the corpse once I have offed the effing cat that is using our garden as a toilet?

I am actually reaching the end of my tether with this. Really.

Every morning I have to nip out before the children do and pick up the cat turds that the offending beast has smugly deposited on the lawn/patio/behind the tubs. And when it?s not well, it?s not easy to clean up after it.

It?s not just gross, it?s dangerous. I choose not to have a cat, so why does someone else have the right to subject my children to the possibility of toxoplasmosis or toxicariasis that could leave them blinded or worse.

We have a small garden (30ft by 20ft) which we?ve designed so that DD and DS can make the most of every inch of it on bike/scooter/climbing-frame/seesaw etc. It?s surrounded by fences that are at least 5ft high, so we can?t be accused of inviting pets in, but still the cat comes in every night and does it?s nasty business.

We?ve tried the smelly granules, half-full lemonade bottles and an ultrasonic device, but the cat just takes the piss. Apparently we could try to tack spiky stuff to the top of our fences, but some of the fences are topped with honeysuckle and clematis so it wouldn?t work on those parts and the cat could still get in ? and the stuff is very expensive ? why should I be shelling out when it?s someone else?s property that?s in the wrong. I?ve heard of a pungent shrub called Scardy Cat ? has anyone else heard of it/used it? Again why should I plant up our garden with stinking plants ? it shouldn?t be my problem.

If anyone has any other tried and tested remedies ? please let me know asap. You'll certainly be helping me, you could be saving a cat.

OP posts:
Skribble · 09/08/2005 00:25

Try netting across affected areas, I think a fine netting that catches on claws works, we have a bit of fishing net that the kids stretch accros their sandpit when finished. Its easy enough to put accros beds and lawns last thing at night hooked on to sticks or weighted down by stones.

My MIL puts big flat stones in her flower beds as it stops them digging.

I think I have lost one of my climbers, it was just getting established and I discovered it all dug round about, the root ball was exposed and all dried out in this weather. Its still drooping . Going to put net around it but have used yellow bottle spray.

BearintheBigBlueHouse · 09/08/2005 09:29

Lying awake last night, knowing something was desecrating my sacred sward, I was musing on all your replies and something Saint George said came back to me - "are you sure it's a cat?", what with the poo being on short grass, on the patio slabs and yesterday on the deck below my beloved grape vine where I like to sit and get my head together with a beer/glass of wine/G&T/all of the above when the littl'uns have been forced to bed. I couldn't think of any way any other creature could get in, unless under the deck through a hole in next door's fence (the only bit which isn't brick walls). That and the fact that the beast manages to do its business right in front of the state of the art ultrasonic device.

long story short, I am now considering the hedgehog possibility and am glad I wasn't too hasty with the shit posting. Check this out. Sorry if you're eating or a bit delicate - but the yucky stuff looks a bit like this and, on reflection, is possibly smaller than one would expect of a cat. In the same way they couldn't dust vomit for prints on Spinal Tap, I guess it's not easy getting the offending stuff DNA tested to prove its provenance. BTW that picture isn't mine - I found it by googling hedgehog poo (nice way to start the day). I'm happy to photograph my poo (well not mine - that would be very sick - rather the stuff on my lawn) and post a link to the photos in case anyone is expert in identifying animal "droppings'. Let me know if you fit the bill.

If it is a hedgehog, I'm in a quandary. If I find it and get rid of it (humanely obviously) then the slug population goes up - although the lazy bugger hasn't helped keep the snails down I notice. If we let it stay I still have to scoop the poop every morning, which after a half dozen of DS's full nappies, will push me over the "too much shit" level first thing in the morning. BTW you should have seen the size of the slug I chucked into the lane last night when I went out to put the toys away - at least 15 cm long and about 5 wide. Removing their predators will definitely lead to a massive slug problem in every sense of the term.

Anyway, I'll try the pepper/Olbas/citronella to see if that has any effect. I've emailed the deteracat people to ask about the efficacy of their products for hedgehogs (if they don't get back to me by 11.07am there's a big bar of chocolate on its way - any takers?)

Forgive me for rambling, but this epic fight between man and beast is taking over my life and the fact that the beast is pissing all over me at the minute is distracting to say the least.

OP posts:
robinia · 09/08/2005 09:43

"My" foxes' poo is also smaller than "my" cat's poo. Are you sure it's not foxes? Also tends to be rather less tidy deposit than a well cat.
A 5' fence would be no deterrent to a normal cat. I think foxes can jump reasonably well too - they certainly used to manage a 4' fence at my previous house.

albert · 09/08/2005 10:19

If you are lying awake tonight why don't you look out of the window and catch the cat/hedgehog/fox thing in the act. It might be easier than identifying poo. Arm yourself with a flashlight, cup of coffee (to stay awake) and a water pistol and pretend to be Sherlock Holmes

bobbybob · 09/08/2005 10:23

Olbas oil on old tea bags,

Pieces of orange peel.

popsycal · 09/08/2005 10:30

www.cats.org.uk/catcare/leaflets/530_cats_and_gardens.pdf

cant do links - feeding ds2

popsycal · 09/08/2005 10:31

as well as dterents, page 12 helps in poo identification

BearintheBigBlueHouse · 09/08/2005 12:09

According to Deteracat (within the two hours, so no chocolate, sorry) their products have no effect on hedgehogs, so I need to identify the miscreant before shelling out on the Scarecrow squirter.

Anyway, anyone with a strong stomach and a degree in animal waste forensics is welcome to have a gander at this morning's finding in the middle of the lawn YUCK . Feline or hedgehogish? Or even foxy? anyone buying prints will be reported to someone important for being very, very sick.

OP posts:
Mum2girls · 09/08/2005 12:12

I've had cats in the past and their dumps did not resemble this....eeeuuucchhhh

geekgrrl · 09/08/2005 12:25

fox!

batters · 09/08/2005 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Issymum · 09/08/2005 12:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

LilacLotus · 09/08/2005 12:31

that's very stringy! don't cats dig a hole and poo in that rather than what you showed?!

geekgrrl · 09/08/2005 12:53

well, it looks identical to the fox poo we get. maybe there's a regional variation of fox poo?

BearintheBigBlueHouse · 09/08/2005 13:00

I agree it doesn't really look like fox doo doos, so, on the basis that it's probably a h/hog I'm going to try to block up any holes in the little bit of fence we have and thoroughly check nooks and crannies and will keep you informed. Foxes carry the tox. nastiness, but I'm not sure if I need worry quite so much if it's a h/hog? I think the worst is salmonellosis.

OP posts:
BearintheBigBlueHouse · 09/08/2005 13:03

sorry - posts crossed - my view on the foxiness of it was only based on this page , so I bow to your greater experience. Any tips on keeping them out?

OP posts:
SaintGeorge · 09/08/2005 13:19

Hedgehog poo is usually black, and quite often you can see shiny bits (undigested beetle cases).

I vote fox for your visitor, they can clamber up fences quite well - especially urban foxes that have adapted to the environment.

geekgrrl · 09/08/2005 13:34

no idea at all (other than an electric fence). Ours is a real nuisance and has eaten the only chick we managed to hatch this year. and poos on the lawn!

geekgrrl · 09/08/2005 13:34

(i'm talking about a fox btw)

hatstand · 09/08/2005 13:35

I'm sure that's fox poo - fox quantity and fox colour. Fox poo has a very distinctive smell too. Not that that's very helpful...

anteater · 09/08/2005 13:51

Is this going to reopen the fox hunting debate?!

(exercises fingers in readyness)

BearintheBigBlueHouse · 09/08/2005 13:52

yep - wish I hadn't voted Labour in 97, the rot started there. I'm off to phone Bryan Ferry's kid to see if he could nip round under cover of darkness. Tally ho!

OP posts:
Mum2girls · 09/08/2005 14:00

BITBBH, your agony over this is palpable, but thanks, this is definitely one of the most entertaining posts on MN currently.

anteater · 09/08/2005 14:00

Ive go John Peels mobile number..

Mum2girls · 09/08/2005 14:04

Anteater - but he's dead......