Is the jump from having one child to having two easier than from none to one?

[hunkermunker]

??

[rummum]

I also think it helps if you have a UN international peace keeping qualification and police-ing skills...

[hunkermunker]

Vicki, DS is an absolute angel, people comment all the time how sweet-natured he is - really smiley, cheerful, cuddly, happy to play with toys, happy to do pretty much anything and then grin at you...am pretty scared, tbh... Surely I can't be that lucky twice?!

Heck, one of DS's first words was "please"!!

[nailpolish]

its easier in the way that you are not so anxious, not everything has to perfect, you are more laid back, but in terms of actual workload, its not twice the work, its a million times the work, and its not a case of having to split yourself in two, its much much more than that.

i find myself thinking one was a piece of cake at times, two is so hard work, sorry!

(but worth it)

(i have a 2 year and 2 week age gap)

[mancmum]

i found 0-1 wierd but interesting

1-2 I found hard work but nothing I had never known before in terms o f wht needed doing... and 10000000 times more interesting than 0-1 as seeing kids play togehter or just interact was AMAZING and stil is...

[expatinscotland]

Hunker
Lightning can strike twice! My MIL had two 'angel' babies 16 months apart. She said God was just making it up to her for being 37 and having to work evenings - swapping out w/her husband. Both were, and still are, very placid and contented infants.

[alison222]

I found 0-1 a real shock to the system.
1-2 was much easier. DD slept loads unlike DS, woke up, fed, slept, generally was a more contented baby. She got taken all over with us - I continued all Ds's playgroups, toddler sessions etc exactly as before and she loved the distraction. BFing meant I could just up and go and not worry too much, and DS was generally fine - even - "please stop her crying mummy I don't like it" rather than don't cuddle her again sort of thing. Gap is 26 months btw.
OH yes and you still get bad days but they never go away whatever you are doing anyway - we all have them

[nailpolish]

my dd1 was a very demanding, clingy baby, dd2 is a dream, sometimes i wonder if its because she has dd1 to entertain her, and dd1 has become less demanding and clingy, she seems to understand that mummy has to focus on dd2 at times, shes very patient

i have to say, now that dd2 is 9 mths, she has developed a beautiful personality, and the most wonderful thing is when you peek round the door and see them giggling together, in a wee special world of their own

[hunkermunker]

EPIS, that's the kind of post I want to see!

I think it will be harder work than I anticipate, I tend to be overly optimistic about things!

Only a 21-month age gap, so no chance he'll be out of nappies (I'm not up for early potty training!).

[Tanzie]

Yes. When I had first one I was rarely dressed by lunchtime. When I had second, we were all up and dressed and dropping DD1 at nursery for 0830 every morning. You worry less, just think "Oh I'll stick her in her cot for a few minutes while I do some dull household chore and if she screams, well, she'll just have to scream for a few minutes." With DD1, it was "Oh no, she's screaming again, must drop everything and see what's wrong."

I also got a decent sling (having nearly lost DD1 who was v long baby, in the frozen peas at Sainsbury's when she was 4 months old) and wore DD2 for a couple of months. That also helped.

[niceglasses]

0-1 terrible shock and I was completely neurotic. 1-2 much more laid back & tried to go with the baby instead of making baby fit in with me but you just have to get good at juggling.2-3 tough in terms of spreading attention, but not in terms of basic childcare as sorta know what I'm doing although this one doesn't sleep and I'm sure I did the same things.

I'm quite shocked at how my few brain cells don't work any more.

You'll be fine. As long as they all get at least 1 hot meal a day and are dressed some time before lunch, youre doing great in my book.

[Caligula]

Yes

[zubb]

HM - you may be lucky and have another laid back baby. I was amazed at how easy ds1 was, but he was nothing compared to ds2, good sleeper, good feeder, always smiling, just fitted into our life with no problem. There is a 22 month gao between them so ds1 was still in nappies but it didn't seem a problem.
I'm really pushing it though as have 6 weeks till ds3 arrives (another 22 month gap) - I've got my fingers crossed that lightening strikes thrice!

[logic]

Sorry, I am finding 1-2 much much harder than 0-1. With the first, you have all of your time and energy to spend on them and it's all new and exciting. With 2 there is more than double the work and just don't even ask about the laundry. It's so hard to divide your time between a toddler and a newborn BUT I am hoping that it will become easier later on when they can entertain each other!

[Mirage]

I agree with Logic.There are 21 months between dd1 & dd2 & I find myself trying to split myself between the two of them.I don't think it helped that we moved house when dd2 was 3wks old & simultaneously dd2 decided that she no longer wanted to wear nappies.DD1 has an uncanny knack of waiting until I am feeding DD2,before coming to tell me 'Oh dear,wee-wee on floor.'

I'm hoping that it will get easier as they get older,although DD1 likes to try & help me with DD2.I found dd2 asleep today with an empty eggbox balanced on her head-courtesy of DD1,who told me that she was 'helping'.

[Melpomene]

I'm finding 1-2 much easier (2 year gap). Feel a lot more confident and relaxed, know what to expect. DD2 is a lot more calm than dd1 ever was, and this pattern seems pretty common.

Also you have more of a sense of perspective second time round. You know that babyhood passes in a flash and that most of the problems that seem like such a big deal when they happen will be sources of laughter/anecdotes a few months down the line.

Plus we already have all the clothes/toys/books/equipment, so don't need to worry about that.

I suppose it does depend on how well the older one reacts to the baby, though. We've been fortunate and dd1 is a very sweet big sister to dd2.

[morocco]

I didn't find the jump easier - I was bloody knackered for months on end - the gap is 17 months and ds1 had slept all day whereas ds2 never ever ever slept at all and just screamed hi head off. I shudder even now to think of it.

but . . .

now it's absolutely fab and I think easier than just having one as they play together, amuses themselves, both can feed themselves etc etc. ds2 is 17 months old now and ds1 is almost 3

so if it is a bit of a mare, try to remember it doesn't last long

[moonshine]

Oh no 1-2 was far far harder for me. Agree about the work not doubling but quadrupling, and more. You may know what to expect but you also know that there are stages coming up that you will dread. And I have definitely turned from Earth-ish Mother, to Bitch-Mother since number 2.

Apart from that, it's great - go for it .

[Melpomene]

I second what Tanzie said about a sling. I have a Huggababy which is worth its weight in gold. You can breastfeed in it so you're not chained to a chair. In the early weeks it enabled me to breastfedd dd2 while baking biscuits with dd1 or playing aeroplanes. One time I even breastfed dd2 in the sling while walking around a shopping centre

[hunkermunker]

Yes, a sling is a definite purchase for this time around - want one I can feed in too.

PMSL at eggbox "helping"

[Blackduck]

yes - i didn't want any - now have one - and can now invisage a whole football team - not say I WILL have more than one thou'

[logic]

I think it does depend on how difficult the 2nd baby is to a certain extent. My dd has colic, screams constantly and refuses to sleep in her own bed. If I was getting more sleep, I might be more relaxed about it all.

I agree that you don't worry about the 2nd baby half as much but I do feel guilty about not spending as much quality time with my elder child.